Hort Park-TTC-DeVoTiOnS

Hort Park

Oh what can I say? It was great to be out with you all. So much fun, laughter and love shared. Ita, your birthday was a great day!!! hahaha. You are so lucky, the people that went were special entertainer from young to old. God loves them all. The nice landscape, greens, the labyrinth ball that we played, the jokes shared (doa susi ambien, bwahahaha)

TTC-SBC Trip

On the purpose to deliver and bom-bom cheer Ita to her place of interview and helping Kak Tony to find out more about the bible colleges in Singapore, we set on a little adventure. I get to know these three people a little more: Ita, Dyn and Kak Tony. The clouds gathered over us when we arrived at TTC with no Kak Tony with us. The path to the entrance is rather slanted and we walked through the backyard of TTC only to find there is no reception. The sky was dark and drops of rain warned us to search for shelter. We approached one auntie proceeding downstairs, she aint know the place as she’s a visitor like us. The gardener only speak mandarin and had poor knowledge of his work place. General administration office oso donno. New guy meh? We ran to the canteen and was anxious about Kak Tony (no $$$ on his mobile). Luckily, one uncle told us to wait at B2 for the incoming taxi, we then found out that we actually passed B2 when we were looking for the entrance. Three of us sat down near B2 lift, Ita was a little more anxious, Dyna was generally happy. I basically was ignorant of all the happenings and wanted to sleep. Before a few rubbish chats, we tried to send messages to him because he now totally can not receive any calls nor replied text. We sent him texts and recommending him to have faith. Anyway, He finally arrived! and told all his drama up on the second floor balcony with thunder and lightening blazing in front of our eyes. We closed our ears and/or eyes every so often. He shared that a singaporean auntie was so mad at him thinking he cut her SGH bus queue at outram. He was actually waiting for 166 bus to come to TTC. It is his first time to travel by spore bus alone. After getting into the 166 bus and feeling certain to get off, He actually arrived at a wrong place! While waiting for the taxi, a car passed by, showing no slightest courtesy, it wetted him from face to toe. Once he got onto a taxi, he received our “have faith” text. Hihihi. Poor guy.

Ita nervously went for her interview and was happy for everything. Finger crossed!

Along the way we all listening to Kak Tony sharing about his ministry experiences. It was quite fun! We then went to SBC particularly SBC’s book centre where we spent most of our time chatting about this and that book, leaving the place not buying any. SBC looked a little boring and from what I heard, the students there received strict disciplines. Anyhow, we managed to hear a lady’s rehearsing her voice. Fiuh hard work of aaAAAaAAAaAA!

The day was ended by feasting at Adam Rd Food Centre, ordering famous local cuisines such as the soto with bergedil, prawn noodle, nasi briyani and rojak. As I write the previous sentence, my mouth waters just imagining vivid pictures of the little feast we had. I believe, so does yours! I will be back to Adam Rd. I am not sure if I will be back to the colleges though hehe, God willing. Ita, all the best!

DeVoTiOnS

I have been reading Life Sentences by Warren Wiersbe and Amy Carmichael’s His thougts said His Father said. Yesterday, I wrote a post on Competition, pride and all. Today my reading answered it. It was so good to find God answers prayers. My reading was on Lucifer. How His pride and ambition hath lead him to the path of hell. To sum it up, three old lies He propagates in today’s modern times: There is no absolute truth in this world, there is no consequences for personal disobedience and no limit to what we can achieve. Sobering thoughts.

I will share one bit from Amy Carmichael:

The Healing of The Tongue

His thoughts said, “Nothing that I have been able to say to those whom I have tried to help seemed to do much for them. What is the use of saying anything? Perhaps it would be better to say nothing.”

His Father said, “The healing of the tongue is a tree of life . Hast Thou ever seen a tree bear fruit in a day?”

I think the short note is really relevant to my own personal walk with God, my relationship with my brother and probably to you. We tried to help people around us with our words but we are seeing little effects taking place. We are discouraged. The Lord gently reminded us that words of healings brings life. But, a tree clearly do not bear fruit in a day. It takes days…months…until the right time comes. It is not easy to change, my friend. Not until much patience, prayers and tears. I am still walking slowly ahead, progressing ahead. My brother as well. Every time I felt I was faster than my soul then it is the time to slow down and catch up. your prayers and kind support are much appreciated.

Yokoso Japan!

Jepang, Gile Keren banget!! Iklan ini menggugah orang yang menonton. Seperti kata-katanya di awal video "Soulful Japan". Japan as it portrayed beauty, perfection, tranquility and passion. The background music is dramatic and exciting. It is a believable ads and makes me wants to visit Japan. Yokosa Japan!

Life Contests

I wish I could blog what I think. AS the process of thinking is in progress, I wish to blog every word. Hehehe. Then deletion of the unimportance is necessary. My thoughts are somewhere these lines:

Are Christians allowed to be competitive?

How do we survive in a competitive culture?

What should be our motivation?

What are the temptations?

How do we avoid the pitfalls of competition yet still giving God my best?

 

Singaporeans are known for their Kiasu-ness. My question is… are you not?

If you are, is your goal pure in giving God your best? or peer pressure? Striving for the approval of others? or a matter of Pride to be ahead than others?

If you are not, Have you been giving God your best? or being lazy?

 

“He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble.” Pro 3:34

“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” 2 Cor 10:12

“Never be influenced by the evaluation of men. Be careful not to follow the ideas of man. Get your value from God. Men have their way of despising small things but God uses them.”

“When God wants to do His great works, He trains somebody to be quiet enough, little enough and humble enough. Then, He uses that person.”

“Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”

Make me a servant

Lord,

I give up my own plans and purposes

All my own desires and hops

and accept Thy will for my life

I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee

to be Thine, forever

Fill me and seal me with thy Holy Spirit

Use me as Thou wilt

Send me where Thou wilt

Work out Thy whole will in my life

At any cost, now and forever…

by Betty Scott Stam

a servant has no agenda of his own. he has to learn obedience.

accepting what seems to us the unacceptable will of God

because in acceptance, lieth peace…

If your life is broken when you gave it to Jesus,

It may be because pieces will feed the multitude, when a loaf will only satisfy a little boy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

This little impatience with one another…

This little urge to change things, myself and people my way…

These little pains, Lord…

may they be fragrant offerings to You

Equip me with wisdom O Lord,

that I know so well what You required of me

enabling me to refuse the rest gently

send me to pursue, to accept, to hope

the fulfilment of Your entire will for my life

Thou art Lord! my refuge and my strength

God is our Refuge and our Strength,
Our ever present Aid,
And, therefore, though the earth remove,
We will not be afraid;
Though hills amidst the sea be cast,
Though foaming waters roar,
Yes, though the mighty billows shake
The mountains on the shore.

A river flows whose streams make glad
The city of our God,
The holy place wherein the Lord
Most High has His abode;
Since God is in the midst of her,
Unmoved her walls shall stand,
For God will be her early help,
When trouble is at hand.

Guide me Great Jehovah

Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah,
Pilgrim through this barren land.
I am weak, but Thou art mighty;
Hold me with Thy powerful hand.
Bread of Heaven, Bread of Heaven,
Feed me till I want no more;
Feed me till I want no more.

When I tread the verge of Jordan,
Bid my anxious fears subside;
Death of deaths, and hell’s destruction,
Land me safe on Canaan’s side.
Songs of praises, songs of praises,
I will ever give to Thee;
I will ever give to Thee.

I love you Lord

Fijian version:
au tu vanga
vei ke muni
karo ko vanga
nayata muni
tigo miao
niu vaka tusa
meka talei dinanga
turanga

Hope, Joy and Peace

Though my eyes can not see
He secured a bright future for me
what is the use of despondency?
Only a leap of faith to be free

Though my eyes fail to see
He provides safety and joyful glee
Hear O soul, why be sad and gloomy?
Only a leap of faith to be free

Though my eyes blinded to see
He quietly ransomed thee
Merciful and loving the lowly
Only a leap of faith to be free

xxx

Need-a-job

geehee

My recent job turn down and the weeks aftermath only serve to prove that I am stupido, fool and the kinds because I regretted saying no to the job. Haiyah, the choice here seems to be either a highly challenging, pressure-filled, on-the-go job or no job at all-sitting around-fooling yourself kind of job. The part I feel that I am such a fool is because I regret what I did. Then in order to stop being a fool, I need to look forward with hope, which I believe the will of God for me.

I guess I just have to buckle up with a lot of courage and confidence to face any challenges. But where do you think I can find that? Am I able to manufacture such good virtues? frustrations!!! --> I guess the answer is faith and sadly I don't have enough of it.

"we must live by faith not by sight" --> God's will for us

it is one thing to enjoy theology and another thing to believe it and live in it. My heart needs to catch up with my head. Dear good Lord, o help.

I miss the thrill of going for an interview. Shot! I only want the thrill but not the job. huehehe.

I am getting a little impatient with everything and a little lazier everyday.

Temptations: youtube, blueletterbible, facebook, e-mails, music, countless books to read, blogspot.

No matter what I did, I believe God's providence goes along way ahead before me. Even though I fall, He will pick me up. God is good to you, Lilis. Every difficulties and hardships that come along your way are heavenly gifts to keep us humble and dependent on God. Let's celebrate the little bumps on the road, let's welcome it with both hands, let's live in the will of God.

sometimes I feel I need to move on and another time I must slow down. I am quite confused and most of the time worry over my own health. Must fix my eyes upon Jesus, must focus on Him and His purpose and His promises. Must believe Him. Must rest in Him.

PS: I must start memorizing some scriptures for my own benefit. in times of troubles i often lose grip.

O la la, Bon Appetit!

you can imagine what I am going to do when I have an oven...
you can imagine what I am going to be when I have an oven...
thank God I don't have an oven!?!?

Gorgeous Beef Bourguignon on Mashed Potatoes



Julia Child Roasted Chicken with Lemon and Herbs



Five Spiced Peach Tarts

Hobbies…wait, addictions?

Mince Beef Black Pepper, it was an easy scrumptious lunch. Do you notice the color variation? it is for antioxidants sake!!!

Egg & Baked Beans, O’ healthy breakfast

(Hi protein, Low GI carb, anne... you will be pleased, mama!)

My recent books from the local library

Yeap, Jamie Oliver is good 'ol favorite, got the bug from my hostmum. His cooking was easy and yum. Anyway, I picked it for nostalgic and possibly...experimental purposes.

Thai cookbook, last December visit to Thailand hath cured my dull-Singaporean taste buds with their delicious, indo-liking, coconut-ing, tantalizing, mouthwatering dishes. Who can resist?

The Starbucks experience, I’ve heard a lot about it, flicked through it and I decided to have it together with the coffee.

The complete idiot’s guide to whatever you have read above, I just think I need to work smart. We need to dig on the wisdom God granted to everyone (not just the elect) as common grace, which I might be lacking.

Hmmm, I think sooner or later I will pick up photography, fashion and those artsy fartsy thing as my new hobby as well. Oh gosh! they are very enjoyable and time consuming, I can understand...

I have not love, why? [edited]

I have not love, why?
I demand all my rights
not one of them shall be denied

I have not love, why?
I fear to lose my life
I was afraid that I might die

I have not love, why?
I love myself...
more than Jesus...sigh.


"Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24

Hopefully it's better.

Where lieth peace? by Amy Carmichael

He said, "I will forget the dying faces;
The empty places—
They shall be filled again;
O voices mourning deep within me, cease."
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, "I will crowd action upon action,
The strife of faction
Shall stir my spirit to flame;
O tears that drown the fire of manhood, cease."
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in endeavour lieth peace.

He said, "I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life's riot?
Shut be my door to pain.
Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease."
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, "I will submit; I am defeated;
God hath depleted
My life of its rich gain.
O futile murmurings; why will ye not cease?"
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, "I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God to-morrow
Will to His son explain."
Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word, not vain;
For in acceptance lieth peace.

Beautiful! Exact! :D

O Lord help me!

The amazing providence of God, the greatness of His love enables us to keep a quiet heart. Forgive us, Lord for our unbelieving heart. You must have detested my attitude, help me will you? to be able to pray the following...to trust You with my whole heart.


"Lord, I am willing:

to receive what you sent
to lack what you withhold
to relinquish what you take
to suffer what you inflict
to do what you command and
to be what you require."

--Elisabeth Elliot

Tuhan ubahkan saya

Tuhan ubahkan saya
Aku sering lupa bahwa Engkau mengasihi aku
Bahkan Kau rela menebus aku yang hina
dengan anakMu yang tak bercela

Tuhan ubahkan saya
Aku sering lupa bahwa Engkau mengampuni aku
Sekalipun dosaku merah karena jinah
Kau rela melupakannya

Tuhan ubahkan saya
Aku sering lupa bahwa Engkau yang memilih saya
ketika aku merasa tidak layak
Engkau memberi kemampuan dan talenta

Tuhan ubahkan saya
Aku sering lupa bahwa Engkau menyertai saya
Meskipun dunia penuh mara bahaya
Ingatlah, maut pun tak berkuasa menawan kita

Tuhan ubahkan saya
Tolong aku yang sering lupa...

Random photos

Showing off some of the books I got from the library. I only read two, which I highly recommend: dynamic cover letter & 60s you're hired. The rest aren't too exciting.

Sapo Tahu Udang (dunno the english)

Sapo tahu udang (zoom version)

Ham & Egg Healthy Sandwich (LOL)

Biehun Char (Biehun Ikan Mujair special from Indo)

Do take a break

Pain and sacrifices mmm
Challenges mature you, If life has no challenges it will not mature you.
But, I do not think that I have not taken any challenges.
It's just...I forgotten to step on the break...
It's just...I had done more than I should.
Instead of keep asking "what if God wants you take on board the challenges?",

What if He did not ask me to?
What if He just wants me to enjoy Him and enjoy the smooth long road for the moment?

Lord, sometimes it is difficult to rest. It is difficult to shut my ears off what people say. Very few people experienced what I do, at least I only know a few. We are struggling with it.

It is foolishness to compare yourself with people
each with different capacity
each with different calling and uniqueness
don't box them up
yet, we keep falling into that won't we?

This whole world is just a mess
If we let our ears to listen to them
We will one day reject the idea that Celestial City even exists
All the more, we must devote ourselves to the Almighty
Drawing each day's strength from Him alone
Keeping in touch with the reality

May the Lord bless us and help us in days ahead
May His grace always fall upon us,
open our blind eyes to His truth
May we all finally ended up being faithful servants
Living the purpose the Creator has for us

Total Wreck

I feel like a total wreck, to be honest. May be, may be I just need some more time. I can not follow whatever people say or think I should do (but gee, I am made to be a follower, not a leader). I probably should just enjoy things and relax a while...

Why do I buy in people's opinions so easily? Why have I not any strong principles?
Why do I allow this?

Lord, I am nothing, only ordinary human being, sinful and helpless.
I do not have faith when you said that I must live by faith not by sight.
I kept getting confused with the things I can see and
The Celestial City seems to be kingdom far far away.
I learned that I have always been taking the flight response when I am in a conflict, but
Self-mastery is not easy, in fact it is the fruit of the Spirit. It is work in progress not instant ability.
If I have not utilized all the graces that you lavished on me, I am sorry.
I do not want to be that one talent-servant, scared and buried it away. But, neither I have the courage, Lord to work it out.
If I have disobeyed you and not being on your track, forgive me.

Remember Lilis that you have a Heavenly Father, and that's Me. I know and understand what you are going through. Come...come into my embrace. We walk again, shall we?

I am a dead meat

Never in my life I turned down a job offer (again, not that I receive that many offer). This boss is quite interesting guy, he is the typical chinese singaporean that wish his business make it all over the world. Not a dreamy wishy woshy thing, but it is achievable nowadays. It's just I find that it is all too ambitious and am so sorry I chose not to take part in it. My age telling me that I should take on the challenges. I am telling myself that the effort does not equal the rewards. All the boss try to achieve is success, his products gained a lot of respect from all over the world. He thinks I can talk which is a compliment. He thinks that my technical skills need polishing but I can learn and survive through. Oh gosh...hearing that I feel like I am not gonna survive at all. What? am I here trying to test my endurance through it? you gotta be joking. I am just barely pass through, sir. That's what you do not know about. I don't blame you, in fact I wish to help out to your company, but I am just not fitted for the work, as yet. I will one day, may be next year or two but not now. Thank you once again for offering me such delicious offer, very tempting but I have to apply "to thine own self be true". I must be honest with myself.

Everybody asks me why? why? why? why? why?

The job is too challenging for me. I am not ready even though the boss thinks I can make it. I just don't want a life spent for work, striving for something that I don't think it's too important. His secretary was puzzled, I guess they never been rejected before. Please trust me, it was not easy to make the decision. It was through much prayers and discussions. I don't really want to do it, as simple as that. At the very beginning, after the interview I already putting this job aside, let alone thinking that I will be accepted. I am just not ready for another challenging job, not another full of pressure job, it will burn my head I tell you.

I don't care if people think I am a loser. so be it. I know what I can handle and will stick to it!

I am so tired after the whole day dealing with quick decisive effective decision making.

Decision made! done deal. no more offer.

I wish I was not in this situation. I wish I can just embrace all opportunities and go mad about it. But, I can't... deep inside my heart I know... I am not ready...

Through Furnaces of Pain

This is one of the notes, part of my daily devotion, I am lazy to write so just type will do.

 

A dedicated Christian probably has avoided a lot of physical suffering that comes to a person who defiles and destroys his body through sin and selfishness. It’s true. Are you a dedicated Christian yet?

 

Higher ministries of pain:

1. Pain can have purifying power. “You must realize that to be dead to sin inevitably means pain.”
2. Fellowship with Christ. You and I can be drawn closer to God through pain
3. Bringing glory to God. Not that God must inflict us with pain to gain glory for Himself but rather, your pain can be used to bring glory to Him.

 

This time note is very short indeed. In fact, I did not feel as much stirred as the previous chapter. Some repetition of the truth I heard before. But, I think I am stuck with the application e.g. how many times have I accepted pain that comes into my life with both hands? Have I been thankful for them because they will bring me closer to God, they will open my eyes to the spiritual truth which I probably never seen or experience before? Have I been positive and trusted God through the permitted pain? It is easier to complain, it is easier to ask God for the pain to be removed but that means we have not understood the truth yet, we have not longed for the things above but the things on earth. Worldly things are still somehow take hold a part of us and we are reluctant to let them go. Forgive us Lord, for allowing our heart to be enticed with the temporal. Help us to fix our eyes on Jesus and the heavenly things that is eternal. Thank you for refreshing our focus once again today. It is impossible to desire those things, Lord not until you gave us the faith we desperately need. Help us, we ask. Amen.