Bercermin sebentar

Dulu mungkin sering kuatir dan takut. Banyak sekali potensi diri yang gak berhasil dikembangkan. Kenapa dulu gak bisa sedikit lebih tenang, mungkin terlalu hectic dan terlalu banyak komitmen sehingga gak punya waktu berdiam diri. Gak boleh kayak gitu sih. Sekarang harus berubah!!! I know what I can do and what God put in my heart to do. I will do it!!

Tanpa disadari, doa-doa gua banyak yang self-centred. Seringkali gua lupa kalau hidup ini bukan hidup untuk tujuan menyenangkan diri sendiri, tapi hidup ini tuh buat Tuhan, buat memenuhi tujuan dan kehendak Dia masih membiarkan gua hidup di bumi ini. Biarlah mulai dari hari ini gua sadar akan hal ini, benar-benar celik lah which means menerima apapun situasi yang Dia kasih ke gua baik painful disciplines atau challenges. Semuanya itu harus dilalui demi menjadi orang yang dikehendaki olehNya.

Gua bersyukur untuk waktu-waktu diam sekarang, gua bisa mencari Tuhan dan kehendakNya dalam hidup gua. Gua bersyukur karena kerjaan kemaren biarlah menjadi batu loncatan untuk ke arah yang lebih baik selanjutnya. Gua kepingin belajar bisnis, gua kepingin mencoba hal-hal baru, take risks lah istilahnya... tapi bukan dengan membabi-buta, apa aja mau tanpa arah tujuan.

Terlalu banyak passion di berbagai hal membuat gua gak fokus, akhirnya gak ada yang tercapai. Terlalu banyak bermimpi tapi tidak punya keberanian untuk menjalankan, akhirnya tidak jadi apa-apa. Tuhan, aku tahu engkau tidak meminta kita melakukan sesuatu yang tidak pernah kita enjoy. Justru melakukan sesuatu yang kita ingin lakukan akan membuat kita melakukan tugas itu dengan efisien.

Gua kepengin memulai lagi. Belajar komunikasi lagi, belajar menyelesaikan konflik, belajar mengatakan tidak, belajar memahami orang lain, belajar menguasai diri sendiri.

One goal: menjadi manusia yang hidup sesuai dengan tujuan dan kehendakNya.

To be holy is to be happy. So be holy!

The happiest man in the world is a man living up the creator's purpose for him on earth.

Cooking Craze Part 2

As you realize, I am mending my blog. It's to be fine tuned. I have spent ages on it and haven't even posted anything!! grrr. I am running out of my patience already :P :P

Anyway, a few pictures for your enjoyment (from my cooking adventure before I came back to Indonesia):

Mie Ayam Premier

Vegetable Soup

Spaghetti Bolognese

Life & Family

It's really good to be reunited with my family again especially my papa. This time around I was a little bit surprised, because he spent a little more time with us. This is very special and I wouldn't trade it with anything else. His words would calm me down and encourages me to keep going. I really love him. I really hope that Christ's love will touch my parents hearts and radically changed all of us. You know, I am praying for that. Nothing is impossible with God.

The love of Christ is too beautiful to be exchanged with materialism, cheap praises of men. His perfect love is healing for our fears, lifting up our shame and guilt. You are the answer, Lord! You are the answer for life abundant, nothing else.

These weeks are also a time for me to rethink of my life. What drives my life? What have I been living for? and God has been answering a lot of my prayers.

I realize that I have been harboring bitterness and it has to go. My worries are detestable in his eyes and it also has to go. I am grateful that the Lord spoke to me, never as clear but He asked me gently to repent from all sins. He kindly invites me again to walk with Him, hold His hands and trust Him. He is a strong tower, I can lean on Him whenever, wherever.

I have also been following too much the opinion of others. I would confess it's a weakness. Let everything be carried out for love and out of love. If it should deviate from what God thinks of us then we have somehow gave in for something worthless, cheap and unworthy. We need to start again.

I have been praying to get to know God more. The question "Do you have a heavenly father?" has impacted me profoundly. I found I am more like a prodigal daughter. It's so true, why should I live like a pauper when I am the King's child with all rights? I said to God, if I did not experience your love, what is the reason to even tell that God is good? Surely it made our words meaningless, powerless, no evident.

God has created me wonderfully.
I am precious in His sight.
He loves me more than anyone could.
He has a purpose for me.

I want to know this Jesus. ever more so.

I may have a few mountains to climb, but today I want to see them as inheritance prepared for me. I may have lost through many challenges but this time around I will not. I shall be stronger because my relationship with Him has been put right and continuously improved. The Lord will bring me through. He will surely do!

Never ever lose hope. He is my strength, He is preparing me back to ente the battle again. What will we do without the Holy Spirit? nothing. He is the source of power and love. Accept Him and experience Him yourself!!!

Cooking Craze

Gua seperti dilanda kepengen masak-masak belakangan ini.

Brunch for today:

Bihun cah putih
Maling goreng

At first, it all starts from imagination. We are going back to Jakarta soon and was wanting to clean up the fridge and pantry. My brother say he wants char bihun (the bihun we normally used is the one my mom bought in Jakarta, you couldn't find it here). Then, I said just used the Singaporean bihun and we will make bihun char putih (no dark soya sauce). A simple bihun, egg and chay sim mix. I like moist bihun char, so it would need extra water. Sorry, didn't take any picture. Since we still have maling luncheon in the fridge, fried maling dipped in chili tomato sauce are a perfect companion for white char bihun. My brother approves it. So, was quite happy for our brunch. After that, we had leftover ice cream and wafers. Half a lemon in the fridge had also been turned into hot lemon honey tea.

Dinner for today:

Cah Kol kapri
Pork and tomato soup

The vegetable dish comprises from cabbage, snow peas (my brother likes it sliced diagonally), spring onion and chopped fresh chili. Tossed them all in high heat with sprinkled salt, sugar and salty soy sauce made it a great dish.

The soup is made from pork meat ball, sliced tomatoes and 2 crushed garlic. Dark and light soy sauce are key sauces to brown the soup. My brother's favorite. Sorry though, I have no picture. We were too hungry.

We will give you a peek for tomorrow's menu:

Mie Ayam (premier, haha)
Nasi goreng + vegetable soup

This really shows that we are dead bored with Singapore food. Haha. If I remember, I will take some pictures tomorrow. Nitez.

Everything is possible with God

Nothing is impossible...nothing at all...

Grace Alone

my favorite!

My King and My God

Psalm 84 (with comments)

How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.

“Lord, my heart cries out…glory to the King…my greatest love in life”

Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young,
a place near your altar,

“His eyes is on the sparrow, and I know He watches over me…”

O Lord Almighty, my King and my God
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage

Diberkatilah orang yang menaruh kekuatan pada Tuhan. Yang percaya sepenuhnya kepadaNya. Yang rindu berjalan bersama-sama dengan dia, melewati segala rintangan dan hambatan dalam hidup ini untuk mencapai satu tujuan, yaitu lebih menyerupai Dia dan dekat dengan Dia. Perjalanannya tidak mudah namun diberkatilah orang-orang yang mau ikut dan percaya padaNya.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
They make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools

The Valley of Baca is a place in Palestine (Baka) means the valley of weeping, describing a gloomy and sterile ground. Also, a place for Balsam tree to grow, giving out white and pungent “tears”. This ‘sacred pilgrims’ was said to create fountains in this gloomy place, sort of showing how we as pilgrims could be a blessing in this world of sadness but also noted that those pilgrims would have gained the strength to be a blessing from God. 

They go from strength to strength
till each appears before God in Zion

I love this verse! Truly. Michael Loh always say this verse, we only go from strength to strength. At first, I didn’t get what he means. Now, I know… :D. Waw, this is such a beautiful passage. God gives us strength to do what He called us to do each day. As for tomorrow, it is not on our plate yet. He will empower you with every task given. Also, I remember the quote at EE’s book “Secure in the everlasting arm”, As thy days so shall thy strength be. God has not made us. God is making us. Day by day, you may not realize it nor trace His hands, but He is working. He had allowed me to see it, happening in my life and others life. His patience with us is most calming. He hath ordained that maturity does not come through an instant process. Patience is still a virtue. If we are melancholic type of person, we really need to learn this virtue.

As we read the rest of the sentence, “till each appears before God in Zion”…we will be there one day, we meet Him and see Him. Indeed, this life, this journey of faith is so called a pilgrimage. Imagine! He is making us until we meet Him. How about that? a continual process, never forsaken nor abandoned until we see our Creator? amazing…deeply comforting…

Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty;
Listen to me, O God of Jacob.

Heres, a privilege that every God’s children would have, asking the Father to provide good things

Look upon your shield, O God;
Look with favor on your anointed one.

when I first read the verse above, it’s weird. Normally, God is our shield but why the psalmist seems to be asking God to look to the Psalmist’s shield. Thus, God and the Psalmist’s shield are actually not the same person. I tried to find who is the Psalmist referring to. The NLT version has this verse clearer:

“O God, look with favor upon the king, our protector! Have mercy on the one you have anointed.”

The psalmist actually uphold his king in prayer! the king whom God appointed to ensure the welfare of His chosen people.

Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwells in the tents of the wicked.

The verse above describes the psalmist’s deep longing for God, to fellowship with Him in His sanctuary. I have found the sweetness of being near Him. He illumines my heart so that I may see the truth, experience His love for me at a greater level, He answers prayers such this. When you see His love among the congregation, you will know if it is genuine love because it will move you to praise God not man, it will make you draw near to Him, it will create thirst for Him. It is because He is love.

For the Lord is a sun and shield;
The Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does He withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

He bestows favor and honor. The proud truly has no hope indeed, if they are boasting around that is living under God’s mercy. When He took away, no proud can save his own name neither create his honor. God rules everything. His promises is like honey to those who are blameless, He promises not to withhold good things. This rewards sure bring comfort to the righteous. The reward is not the righteous’ goal rather, for their eyes are only fixed to Christ, focus on knowing more about Him and to imitate Him. No, the reward serves as great encouragement for the pilgrims to press on. The reward shows His love (again!).

O Lord Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.

At the end of such moving and persuasive passage, who does not want to trust God?

Holy Spirit, help us. speak to us ever so clearly. guide us into all truth. enable us to obey. in Jesus mighty name we pray. amen.