I'm tired!

I'm really tired these days. I didnt get enough sleep...either i was worrying about something or i had something to do. I just so much to do and at times saying "No" is hard. Well, sometimes when i said no, people turn away from me or saying sumting bad, not appreciating that I've really considered everything. I cant do everything! hoh, so frustrating. Why do i care so much of what people think...and why do i afraid of them...ughhhh.

Is uncertainty good for you?

These days I'm faced with a lot of uncertainties and they stress me out! But, really uncertainty is actually an opportunity to trust God. I remember that I asked God to make me to trust Him more. May be this is it, the grant for my request. At times, I do slip out, not trusting God but just get so focus on my problem and forget about God. But, I was reminded in Hebrew that we are to make every effort to come to rest in God. But, I know how much we need the help from Holy Spirit to do so. So...I guess uncertainty is good for you.

Joking lahhh

Three men were out sea fishing when one of them hooked a mermaid. She promised to grant each of them a wish if they'd let her go.

"OK," said the first fisherman. "I want you to double my intelligence." No sooner had he made request than he found himself reciting Shakespeare's Macbeth.

"Jeez!" the second man exclaimed. "In that case, I want you to triple my intelligence." He immediately started spouting Einstein's equations on the theory of relativity.

"That's amazing!" the third fisherman yelled. "Quintuple my intelligence!"

"Are you sure?" the mermaid asked him. "You might not like the outcome."

"I'm sure. Just do it," the man said.

He closed his eyes to wait for the wish to be granted and - poof! - he turned into a woman.


Danny Hochstetler (RD March 2006)


I thought that was funny! hehe.

Reading Exodus

I was reading Exodus 32, when the Israelites forced Aaron to build them an idol so they could sacrifice burnt offerings. God was so angry (v. 9-10) and wanted to destroy the Israelites. But then Moses prayed and asked God to relent and forgive them. God did listen to moses' prayer.

I understand that God is holy and jealous because the Israelites did not give the glory and honor He deserved. Thus, the Israelites are to be punished because of the sin they made against God. Later on because moses' asked God, God decided to forgive them. I thought God really has mercy on moses that He will allow him to speak and plead for Israelites. Dont you think that God already plan to forgive the Israelites even before Moses asked him? Why He showed his anger first and until Moses asked about it then God relent. It seems that moses had power. Has God chosen 'prayer' that would 'allow' (sort to speak) Him to act further (in this case to forgive the Israelites)?

On Chapter 33:11, it was said that the Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Also, some interesting things on the same verse, when moses would return to the camp, his young aide Joshua actually did not leave the tent of meeting (where the presence of the Lord is). Joshua must have 'enjoyed' the presence of God, dont you think? hehe.

Later on (same chapter), v. 20, the Lord said to moses that he can not see God's face, for no one may see God and live. I just wander what has happened in v. 11. Did moses actually speak with the Lord face to face? If not, why is it written so.

About the book, I quite like when Jethro gave advices to moses to delegate the task of settling disputes to trustworthy men. So moses wouldnt have to carry huge burden. Oh also, when moses saw the Israelites were worshipping the golden calf, he thrown the two stone tablets inscribed by the finger of God, and broke it to pieces. Waaaa, Moses lost his CooL. I thought Moses must be really really angry but I dunno whether It was regarded as sinning against God. God did not rebuke him right away but later on asked moses to bring another two stone tablets. Ckckck. God must be so patient with him.

Blessed are the meek

Hi, I havent written for a while. Well, here it goes...

Just came back from my last bible study of the year 2006. We were studying on the verse 3 of the Beautitudes: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Personally I found the verse is really interesting as we further studied it and discussed it. I learnt that the intensity, frustration that Jesus (who is perfect) might feel when he encountered with us who are imperfect. But still then he was so patient with us, teaching, and correcting us. That description of Jesus' feelings helped me to understand the verse more.

Many times I had not been patient with one another, grumbling at the back, why the person did this and that, thinking that my way will be the correct one. To be frank, I did not find it easy to give up what I think is right. I dunno whether I have to. My problem prolly is on trying to impose my thought to the person. But, one thing I'm learning these days is to learn that an individual is allowed to be who they are and we cant impose our opinions to others. Again, tonight I was reminded by 2 Timothy 2: 24-26

And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. and that they will come to their sense and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Wonderful, the verses are clear about how do we response to those who disagree with us. We are to gently instruct which means including lots of patience but then we are doing so not without hope. We have hope that God will grant our friend, brother/sister in Christ to the truth. I reckon that's awesome! I had been worrying because people believing in false (unbiblical) doctrines are everywhere, right here in nowadays churches. But at the same time, I'm stuck with my limited biblical knowledge to filter whatever teaching I recieve (I'm working on it :P). So, I felt abit unfair to judge someone with false doctrine. But, again the Holy Spirit does give discernment to us. We are called to test the spirit, look at the fruit of the teaching, then correct and rebuke the wrong. I just dunno how to rebuke the wrong gently. Either I did not say anything (silent) or I say it harshly. I realize that I had been working things out on my own, not even remember that only the Holy Spirit can convict and change hearts.

In the past, I was not able to express my personal opinions and beliefs, afraid of rejection mostly. Now that I'm changing, I felt that I was more easily to "explode" on things. May be not on the spot but other time when asked by sumwan else. I want to have my own opinions on everything rather than taking others opinions (believe it or not, it's inspired from "Runaway Bride"). I think it is good though at times I consider myself selfish. I know that there is this "Righteous Anger" where we are angry upon sumthing is wrong. I think It is true and noble. Now I have an opinion and checking it with the bible to the best of my ability and by God's grace, I am confident that it is true. When I found sumwan has a different idea, I probably have imposed my beliefs on him because I know that they are wrong.

Hmmm

First week of Working at Crop and Food

I work at Crop and Food Research for almost a week now. I'm still adapting to the work environment, the work atmosphere is really laid back, and my supervisor talks alot. Gosh, people are very talkative. The first day of work, morning tea, lunch break, and afternoon tea are very much encouraged to go. I found it very strange and funny because when I was working in Pak'N Save you have the impression that "Dont you even think of having a break!" Haha. But, you know why, they are trying to get you to be sociable, know your colleagues well, cos CFR kinda forming a bit of a community. This is really scary for me. I was not ready to say "Hi" to many "strangers" during morning tea because they are much older than me and most of them know each other very well. So first day work was not good. I was so tense, trying to get and say everything right, and not ready to open myself for others. I've listened to many people in CFR (of course, I had to say hi to a couple of people and talk a wee bit).

I really want to be myself and let them know somehow that I'm a christian and not ashamed of it. Current challenge is to say grace before my lunch. Obviously, you'll be sitting with people that you dont really know and they are your colleagues from different culture and background. There is this fear of being rejected. Last time, I managed to do that in front of my supervisor (which give me such a relief actually) because I have been stressing out if he really knows who am I, he'll probably wont like me. Though very little he knew me, suddenly a person talked about listening a radio in the morning and they got the american church broadcast. My supervisor's reaction was to say "Christians huh, these snobbish evangelists". But, I didnt get to say anything. I was so thankful If I could meet the challenge at the moment to witness Christ through saying grace.

I thought that my supervisor seems to be a carefree person. Eventhough He appears to have long years, He still pursuing career in Food industry. Just strucked by what He said last time that soon a couple of projects will fund him and it'll be the climax of his career. Last week, his mother in law was very sick and getting older. Then I said we are all getting older everyday. But, He said that he is becoming older but I still have a long years to go. I wished I say that "No, we do not know, only If God allows."

I had a chat with his wife which is the lab technician. She said during the morning tea that in every organization you should come for morning tea and that's when you meet people. She then said that it is easier to ask favors to them. The thought of meeting people (socializing) is good but the thought of using others is rather selfish. I thought she'll be a kind of person that is quite perfectionist, you can tell from the way she does the experiments and handling her lab "toys". Well, today i broke seven tubes not in a row though. I tried to fit these tubes to centrifuge bucket and spin them. But, the first centrifugation resulted in two broken tubes. Because the solutions were not separated enough, the tubes were spun again and I did check the fitness of each tube in the bucket. I asked her a couple of times too before running it. After coming back from lunch time, the disaster happened. Another 5 tubes were broken after centrifugation. So, the wife was not happy at all. That's alot of tubes broken in one day. But, my supervisor comforted me, telling me not to worry and it was not my fault. I was so thankful for that cause I was nervous and feeling bad. But, I did not know what was wrong with it and If i was wrong where did I go wrong. Now, they entrusted me plastic tubes instead. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

A call to persevere

Again, a great way to memorise the scripture: post it! Hehe. The Word of God is amazing and wonderful:

"Remember those earlier days after you had recieved the light, when you stood on your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. Sometimes, you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; other times you stood side by side with who were so treated. You symphatized with those who are in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property because you knew that you yourself had better and lasting possessions. So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God you will recieve what he has promised. For in just a very short while,

He who is coming will come and will not delay,
But my righteous one will live by faith
and If he shrinks back
I will not be pleased with him

But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." (Hebrews 10:32-39)