If we are taught by God, rebuked by Him, corrected by Him...it is all because of His grace. His grace is so abundant that He will not allow us to walk in the dark, to stay asleep in peace not knowing our road end is leading to death. God is so gracious to wake us up, alert us through suffering and hardship to lead us back on track. Would you desire otherwise?
God forgive us...many times we hate hardship, full of complaints and so totally blinded by our circumstances not knowing the path we took might be wrong in the first place, not realizing our decisions were not pleasing in you sight. God...it is only because of your love for us that you warn us, shake us, tell us, inform us rather than choose to punish us. Truly, your patience to us is great and sorry for not appreciating this.
God thank you that you care enough to teach me so many things these days. I can not 'tahan' myself anymore if I don't write about it.
Today in sermon is about not murdering people. Very often we think of it literally but Jesus actually taught us in a deeper level. Murdering means not being angry easily to one another. Very often I am kind to others but not to my own family. Very often I am actually rude, impatient and critical towards my own family members. How God is going to be pleased with that? How God is going to accept my gifts and my worship? It actually means nothing and become a burden to God. Lord, I need your love, I need to know and experience your love to be able to love others, bear each other in great patience. Forgive me Lord. I want to meditate more on the cross, where you showed me your great love towards mankind. Why I doesn't seem to get it? Why I am not discipline enough to think about it so often? Help me, Lord so that my witness about you will not be tainted by my sinful action.
“To be angry and not sin, one has to be angry at Nothing, but Sin.”
I struggle to pray, I struggle to keep my morning devotion in place, I struggle Lord. Help me so that the devil will not succeed in making me another mock-worthy Christian, walking around saying that I am a christian but my life is not changed.
Another thing that struck me today is your Holiness. Once again, I am reminded that your name is holy and that we should not be careless in our speech, use your name improperly or even being quick to judge others. Jesus died for them as well. Will you regard those God also saved and loved less than our master? Do you think you are any better? It is too easy to judge others...without knowing the reason behind someone does things. It is far too easy to mock than to build each other up. We are not trained to listen, trained to show patience and love...we are so damn sinful. Never ever put your hope in men, even if they are Christians... they will only fail you... just like us. Why? because we are all not there yet. God is different though...is the source of love. If He is not perfectly loving, what hope do we have? What hope does the world have where everyone is selfish and the consequences of sins are inevitable and burdensome? Oh God...we so desperately need you, can not live without you, can not love without you.
Father...you are still my God. I still would like you to be the master of my life. I listened to too many voices but please give me strength to only say yes to you and shut off the rest. Give me strength to keep you as the number one priority, as the master, one, single being worthy of my full devotion. I am walking in the darkness yet I can see glimpses of hope... of truth...
I know... You have the power to protect and care for your children. and I now understand better that You are able, absolutely able to change the bad things that happen to us for our own good. Certainly!!!
Don't allow Lilis to grow older loving money more than You, loving status and the praises of man more than You, loving myself more than You. They are all temporary and quickly passing, does not count for eternity and unworthy to live or dying for. Make my mind fresh and able to discern Your way clearly. Please spare me for your sake. I know You the one who starts the work in me will on Your own bring it to completion. Thank you for the knowledge of Christ, Thank you for saving me, Jesus.
Marshwiggle would rather his feet be burnt and hurt badly than leaving the evil fragrant incense to hypnotize him and his friends. He refuse to accept satan's cheap substitute to Christ and real hope. Make me like Marshwiggle. Daring to stand for the truth, daring to love and less frightened by the possibility of suffering and hardship.
There was one point in my life where I think, I can not give all the credit back to You. When people congratulate me for the success of event organized, shockingly I can not sincerely say that it was because of Your grace alone. It was true, God. Because I made everything, took care everything, worried for everything and I did not allow You to show Your power, to even be in charge. It was me not You. I was puzzled as to how people are able to say it was because of Your grace and power, I keep wondering whether they were just saying it as a cliche, or because it was nice to say, or because it was truly truly Your grace alone that made the event/ministry successful. You have taught me through a book, that all ministry is Your ministry, it does not need human worries, God will open or close the way thus our burden is light. You don't have to sell the truth cheaply by forcing people to accept Him or making them feel guilty. His truth is too powerful, one will give up their ways when Holy Spirit is willing to show them the truth.
My parents are nice and good, but they can be too protective and too worried about us until sometimes I feel choked. I am scared of making my own decisions and I always in need of their approval. I feel dependent on them. My dad is kind and understanding but he can be quite critical. Since I am dependent on their approval, I am going nuts because there are just always things to improve. What I am is never enough. Their 'face' is important. Sadly, that's how I treat others too. I am scared if ever I gave up my faith and compromise. Sigh.
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