Never mind! start again! I finally gained 7 months work experience here in Singapore. Still though, I wish it could have been 1 year at least. I had tried my max. I think this is just a jump start for me to upscale to a better job. Working here has been a reverse culture shock. The people, the fast pace, the work culture... everything! (even church) was new. I had made myself comfortable with the western way of dealing with people and things, at least it was like that in NZ. But, you know, God knows it. It was not easy to get into my first job. I struggled through and God was with me. Despite, the down side of things I still managed to travel a bit around Asia which served as an eye-opener. I wish...I really wish I got more time, more time to mend my work in the previous job and probably things wouldn't have turned so bad. I wish I was tough and not overtly sensitive towards the opinions of others. I wish I was able to achieve goals and responsibilities given to me. But, it is all over.
I still want to start again. But, I would like to approach work with new ways. Lord, I need to upskill. I need to work up my people skills. I need to be a bit more disciplined and do my best. I am sorry I have been lazy. I still somehow wish I could stand my old boss a bit more. Yet, decision needs to be made and as for now I can only leave it at the Lord's hands. Whatever He brings me, I will apply for work and scholarships again. Let He opened the way.
I now learn to always give my best in everything that I do and leave the rest to God. It sounds so cliche but it is very difficult to do. But, I know in the end, for all matters, we need to trust God. God is at my corner, watching over me, supporting me. He accepts me and forgives all my sins. You know, the key to freedom is here with me. I need not despair any longer.
I have been living in much fear for the last two years. All sorts of fear. I have let Satan to beat me up with despair. Today, he shall do that to me no more. no more. God will take care of me. Surely. Surely. Christians must live faith not by sight. So, I must continue living by faith.
With Him no fear.
6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
(Joshua 1)
"Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."
(Psalm 34:8)
"28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
(Rm 8:28)
"37 their hearts were not loyal to him,
they were not faithful to his covenant.
38 Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities
and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger
and did not stir up his full wrath.
39 He remembered that they were but flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return."
(Ps 78:37-39)
21 "When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
(Ps 73: 21-26)
2 comments:
Hi Lilis
I've been wondering how you were getting on and this post sounds like it has been tough. I hope I will be able to catch up with you when I come to asia again this year. Did you get my news about going to Thailand? Tracey
Hi Tracey, yes I heard about your going to Thailand for teaching. Exciting? Yes, would be glad to catch up with you again :D.
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