Lilis

I have been proud
I am fickle minded
I am selfish

that's badddd...

Discouragement

Today my manager handed over his tasks to me. He is leaving on the 8th of January. To be honest, I feel quite relax but He got really frustrated with me. Sigh. I dunno if I can go on like this. But, everytime I think about quitting, the words from Wiersbe from Being a Servant of God. He said something like..."It is always too soon to quit"

Everytime I remember that I always gather myself up and try to go on. But, I have come to the point that I can't seem to change that fast as fast as they would like me to. There was an Indo colleague, same age but she got the position of manager without even going through that probation period. She is also a christian. But, she can just bring herself in such a way that my boss and my manager like her. She also drinks but I am not sure where her conviction is. I can not imitate her. She must be really smart and composed and relax. She is not the type that will worry too much.

I feel so inadequate. My job seems to go against who I really am. I am required to be trendy, smart, have negotiation skills, fit/pretty all that kind, can lead and scold people, firm and can relate to almost anyone which might involve drinking, partying and the sort.

Sometimes I keep thinking whether this is where God wants me to be. Although I hate to miss the opportunity to grow. But, I can tell you that I am running out of ways to make myself skillful in all these things in such a short time. I already lost my face in front of my bosses and colleagues. I have my own mistakes too: worrying too much and being very nice.

I really have a problem in saying no...either I become very firm until people misunderstood me or I am very soft until people walk all over me. Why? Why I can not master this skills. I feel pressured on every side and wishing that I was not born with this kind of personality and insecurity. I wish I was tough. I wish I was not that anxious. I wish I can grow abit more but I am quite tired of being pushed from every side.

I don't know what else I should do...

I feel hopeless...

I am ashamed of myself...

may be this job is not really me... (whether there is such a thing?)

may be I should not push it...surely God would want me to do something that I enjoy...

Why? I am just about to learn but there is no room for such luxury...I am expected to be ready...

I dunno how long can I stay in this place...but to quit seems to be such a coward action...

Kini

Jangan pernah memusingkan hari kemarin,
Jangan pernah memusingkan hari esok,
Yang ada selalu saat ini.
Kemarin telah lenyap,
Setiap menit harus berjaga,
buatlah itu bermakna meski bagaimanapun.

Tidak ada saat lain: Hanya kini.
Hanya kini kesempatan emas,
saat yang pantas untuk dibela.

Jangan pernah memusingkan hari kemarin,
Jangan pernah memusingkan hari esok.
Adalah hari ini yang harus kau isi,
Dengan semua yang benar dan mulia,
Dengan semua yang Tuhan beri,
Dengan semua yang Tuhan sediakan,
Dengan semua yang Tuhan mau,

Dan waktu untuk itu adalah Kini.

Lumpuh

Ketakutan dan kekhawatiran menghimpit dan membuatku lumpuh. Hadirat Tuhan pun sudah tidak lagi dirasakan. Ketika manusia hanya sendiri tanpa ada Allah yang memimpin, sungguh hidupnya akan tragis. Satu quote mengharukan baru didapat pagi ini:

"Dimanapun kita ditempatkan, bagaimanapun kondisi kita di masa lalu, sekarang dan akan datang adalah ladang kerja bagi Tuhan untuk menyempurnakannya."

Alan Redpath berkomentar terhadap ayat Roma 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose".

"Tidak ada satu hal pun, kondisi, masalah, pencobaan yang akan menyentuh saya jika tidak terlebih dahulu melewati Tuhan. Jika hal itu telah terjadi, maka itu datang dengan sebuah rencana yang indah yang mungkin tidak saya mengerti saat kejadian itu terjadi. Tetapi, setelah saya menolak untuk menjadi panik, begitu saya memandang kepadaNya dan menerima keadaan itu sebagai sesuatu yang datang dari takhta Tuhan demi rencana anugrah yang besar bagi hidup saya, maka tidak ada kesedihan yang pernah mengganggu saya; tidak ada pencobaan yang melemahkan saya, tidak ada kondisi yang membuat saya resah. Saya akan tinggal dalam damai sejahtera Tuhan. Itulah arti kemenangan sesungguhnya."

sumber: Menapaki Hari Bersama Allah by Yohan Candawasa

Tough

What a tough week! everytime I remember about work, I just want to cry. I feel as if my boss is playing a joke with me and I am tired and helpless but he aint giving me up. It is difficult for me not to take his words lightly neither easy not to listen to many discouraging words. Actually the work itself is quite stressful. We are expected to know everything in such a short time and no colleagues are willing to help. Yeah, very kiasu. very chinese individualistic, materialistic, competitive, superficial society. I quite hate it to be honest. Oh...whether I am ever be a business woman...

But, God says not to look at myself, my problems and difficulties.
God said I am too a sinner, in need of forgiveness

why can I not forgive these people? Help me to experience your love and care. Enable me to forgive for I am no better than them, Lord. I am very stressed, my Lord. I am hurted by their careless and heartless words, as if my presence is such a disgust and I am unworthy to be in the midst of them. Selfish colleagues aren't really helpful yeah. It makes you stand on your own. I really hate their superficiality and two faces. I know morality and principles will not always be practical. If profit is your goal then values are sacrificed.

anyway...

I DONT CARE ANYMORE!

Yes. I do not know how to say no. Sorry God. I am a failure.
I can not protect myself
I am clumsy
Always nervous
I am disorganized
I don't want to know SALES
I don't care if you all gone bankrupt
I don't have anyone to support me
I can not lead anyone
I can not argue my way out
I am already allowed myself to be a fool yet I don't know the way out
I am full of self pity and bitter and I can not help it
I don't have any outstanding character
My parents rely on me alot. yet I don't think I can make them proud. I won't be able to withstand this pressure and about to give up.
I can't fight with my boss neither my manager neither my any other colleagues in the office
I am too kind
I am too conservative
I am too restricted and truthful
I won't stand these people dealing with bribes and evil ways

Yes Lord I believe in the end they will all go to hell. They may have heaven now but when judgement come they will not be able to stand. In this sense, I am still blessed. But, please Lord I need your guidance. Keep this job or not? Because everyday I only live in fear. I no longer enjoy my work. no matter it brings me to the end of the world but I can not stand them!!!

Why do I look so young that people lose respect? Why I am such a melancholic that I can not even protect myself? Why I am so helpless????

Stress Berat

Kepala gua pusing kayak mau pecah. Terlalu banyak pikiran. Hari ini bukannya kerjaan gua ilang malah nambah dua biji. Ya Tuhan...kenapa aku itu gak bisa ngomong sich. Udah ngomong kenapa gak digubris? Aduh...

Bos gua selalu bawa-bawa agama, kenapa sih gak bisa let me go at least for a moment? Kenapa sih everyone does not understand me at all. I am about to burst out already. Why? Do I really need another stress like this? Yes, this is a chance but I can't take it anymore!!! I am always pushed around, come home late, bring the work home and stresss. I dont even have time to exercise. I don't even have professional salary. I don't even have paid leave. I work my butt off. Why? WHY?

I dun have even a space to breathe and practise those skills.

I HATE IT!!
I HATE EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT
I HATE IT!!!!!!!

Rasanya...

Merasa kecil. Tidak berdaya. Mudah dibully. Stress. Tidak punya pengalaman. Terlalu idealis. Tidak punya skills. Merasa sangat inadequate. Merasa kurang cakep. Kurang dewasa. Penampilan tidak ada apa2nya. Gak suka clubbing and drinking. Merasa bodoh dan takut. Merasa mudah diperalat, dipersuade, dibodoh2in. Merasa arrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh. Gua udah in the bridge of surviving di kerjaan ini. Relationship gua dengan bos makin jauh, makin takut sama dia, makin gak bisa enjoy kerjaan. Selalu blackmailing me emotionally. Intinya gua capek kerja disini. Semua orang di kantor juga capek ngerjain tugas bos. Sekretaris mau quit. Gua juga mulai berpikir. Gua gak mungkin belajar semua skills diatas dalam waktu singkat. Gua bukan pemberani. Gua takut. Sekalipun gua udah gede, tapi gua tetep takut mungkin banyak kalah ama adik2 di gereja. Mereka secara tampang, kepribadian, tingkah laku lebih dewasa.

Rasanya untuk tidak melihat penampilan luar, itu susah. Untuk tetap tegar itu susah. Untuk tetap bersabar itu susah. Untuk tetep liat Tuhan itu susah. susah susah susah...

Reflection week 1 Dec

• Semakin cinta Yesus
• Semakin tidak bisa hidup tanpa Dia
• Semakin sadar akan pentingnya total surrender to His will therefore require actions
• Total surrender to His will = joy
• Joy = life abundant
• Melihat kasihNya dan kuasaNya yg besar dalam firman Tuhan dan memperoleh pengertian lewat doa.
• Tuhan Raja alam semesta adalah Bapa kita yang baik dan penuh kasih. Dia berfirman maka itu jadi, Dia memerintahkan kehancuran, maka bumi pun taat. Dia yang penuh kuasa ini mengasihi saya dan mendekap saya ketika saya penuh ragu, patah semangat dan tidak berdaya. Dia selalu menyertai saya.
  
• Hidup menurut kehendakNya seharusnya menjadi tujuan hidupku
• "Each problem is an opportunity to grow and see God work" by Wiersbe
• Terlalu bnyk buku yang mau dibaca dan dipelajari. Pelan2 saja biar bisa dimeditasikan dan diaplikasikan.
• Fokus. Hidup ini harus fokus pada Tuhan bukan pada diri sendiri, pada situasi kini, pada kemampuan diri sendiri. Fokus dan percaya pada Tuhan itu kuncinya. Hidup selfish sungguh merugikan diri sendiri.
• Setuju banget kalau pelajaran tidak dicatat akan missed banyak pengertian yang sudah dibukakan oleh Tuhan.

Looking forward to relate intimately with you, God. Looking forward to sit still before You and be blessed by You. I need you.

It hurts

Engkau baik

Engkau baik ketika matahari bersinar
Engkau baik ketika malam begitu gelap
Engkau baik ketika kami tidur tenang
Engkau baik ketika kami gugup cemas
Engkau baik ketika makanan berlimpah
Engkau baik ketika kelaparan melanda
Engkau baik ketika tubuh ini sehat
Engkau baik ketika nyeri tak tertanggung
Engkau baik ketika panen pesta
Engkau baik ketika lumbung kosong

Sungguh Engkau baik!

With all I am

Into your hand
I commmit again
with I am
for you Lord

You hold my world
in the palm of your hand
and I am yours forever...

God is good! God is good forever and ever

A psalm of Asaph.

¹Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.

² But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.

³ For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

⁴ They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong. ^a]">[a]

⁵ They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills.

⁶ Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.

⁷ From their callous hearts comes iniquity ^b]">[b] ;
the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

⁸ They scoff, and speak with malice;
in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

⁹ Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.

¹⁰ Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance. ^c]">[c]

¹¹ They say, "How can God know?
Does the Most High have knowledge?"

¹² This is what the wicked are like—
always carefree, they increase in wealth.

¹³ Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

¹⁴ All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.

¹⁵ If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.

¹⁶ When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me

¹⁷ till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.

¹⁸ Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.

¹⁹ How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!

²⁰ As a dream when one awakes,
so when you arise, O Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies.

²¹ When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

²² I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

²³ Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

What a beautiful psalm. Thank God, deeply thank God! God is the strength of my heart, God is my portion forever and ever. Hanya dekat Allah saja aku tenang. Only in Him, I can truly live.

Oh beautiful Jesus
the world and its pleasures can't compare
Let my eyes see only Thee
and all other lights grow dim

Ringkasan

Small Group 27/11

"Functions"

I learned quite a lot of things today. Firstly, thinking about the 3 F's (Formations, Functions, Foundations) sort of the core principles of our small group. Anyway, I was really interested in "Functions". I think it is new to me, and that was God's kindness revelation. Functions means each of us that makes up a small group will be given responsibilities that will help the person to grow. So, the responsibilities are there, not merely to be filled by a person but actually helping the person's spiritual growth. I never thought about that and I think it is beautiful if we all serve God like that. You see...Wiersbe said something similar "The service is as important as the servant". God can makes things works without you. If He merely interested in getting the job done, He doesn't have to use you. But, the question is why you are allowed to be involved. It is because you will be trained by it. Simply, you will grow. That's cool yeah.

Formative vs Summative Assessment

Never realize so much I have been dependent on Summative assessment. My mind is so goal/achievements orientated and that it just ingrained in myself. I never care about the process. Sadly, school and work place taught me that. They will always see end results. Yeah, yeah the process is important but really the results get much applauds. Now, change of paradigm... the results may be disappointing...but the process provides much supplements to our soul, to our character.

The people

Waw...what can I say...I am much humbled by you all once again...I thank God everytime I see you all how He granted us so much grace and wisdom. May His name be praised. God is among us!!!

Tuhan...aku rindu...hidup berkemenangan setiap hari...
percaya dan patuh padaMu
tahu setiap tapak yang dipijak, Tuhan besertaku
memimpinku dan berjalan pada tempat yang kau kehendaki
biar badai menerpa
aku tetap kuat dan tahan berdiri
karena setelah hujan langit cerah kembali
bersamaMu...bersamaMu...
tak ada rasa takut dan gentar

Tuhan, aku mulai mengerti...
tolong janganlah kau mengundurkan diri
tuntunlah aku seperti janjiMu, karna namaMu
Ini aku...

PS: I know there is an overdue post on Evangelism Explosion, stink, I forgot what I need to write.

I also need to say something about the book of Mr. Yohan Candawasa. Great stuff! First chapter, your life mission statement, what will be written on your obituary? How do you like people to remember you? and then Psalm 73...of Asaf...Awesome passage you know...whoa! you have to read it yourself.

Thank God for everything :)

O come, O come Emmanuel

O come, O come Emmanuel
and ransom captive Israel
that mourns in lonely exile here
until the Son of God appear...

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to Thee
O Israel...

Sabtu Seru

Baru saja aku officially menamatkan seluruh tetralogi laskar pelangi. Andrea telah membuatku bangga akan bahasa Indonesia. Karyanya merupakan salah satu favorit yang cukup kuat tertancap di hatiku. Gilaaaa lucu bangeet nget nget...aku sampai lupa diri waktu di bus. Aku terkikik-kikik mirip orang gila pas kumat.

Selain Maryamah Karpov, sebuah pelem Korea, Love Story in Harvard, telah kutamatkan dengan sukses kemarin jumat. Saya menyukai ending film ini. Film ini tentang kisah cinta dua orang pengacara lulusan Harvard pada seorang dokter berhati mulia yang juga ex-Harvard. Ending yang paling menarik yaitu ketika persidangan dimenangkan dengan taktik yang sangat pintar.

Sempat pula berbincang dengan kawan-kawan di small group ples Ci Maria. I am humbled by all of you, for you all have taught me something, your life have pointed me to the Great God that we worship and that He exists and that He is good. Thank you temans. Aku tak jemu-jemu berdoa agar di perkerjaanku ini karakterku dapat bertumbuh, oh Tuhan jangan aku luput. Bermurah hatilah padaku dan bersabarlah terhadap aku. Kau tahu...Tuhan itu sanggup...lebih sanggup...lebih berdaulat..jauh melebihi yang pernah kau kira. Jangan terlalu banyak menuntut untuk tahu arah ke depan...percayalah pada Tuhanmu...Dia itu tahu akan bawa kamu kemana. Jalani hari satu demi satu...sehari demi sehari...jangan terlalu cepat dan jangan terlalu menuntut kesempurnaan. Kedewasaan itu perlu waktu dan kesabaran, dia akan tiba pada saatnya.

Grace Alone

C      Am7    C      G
Every promise we can make
C      Am7        F       G
Every prayer and step of faith
C      G    F     C
Every difference we can make
G        F      G
Is only by His grace.
C     Am7     C        G
Every mountain we will climb
C     Am7     F       G
Every ray of hope we shine
C      G    F   C
Every blessing left behind  
F    G      C
Is only by His grace
C     F                  C
Grace alone Which God supplies
C          F        G        C
Strength unknown He will provide
C         F        Em7    Am7
Christ in us, our cornerstone
C       Am7           C     G C
We will go  forth in grace alone.

C     Am7     C       G
Every soul we long to reach
C      Am7      F       G
Every heart we hope to teach
C      G   F   C
Everywhere we share His peace
G        F      G
Is only by His grace.
C      Am7    C       G
Every loving word we say
C      Am7     F     G
Every tear we wipe away
C      G   F   C     
Every sorrow turned to praise
F    G      C
Is only by His grace.


Tuhan...terima kasih untuk lagu ini.

Singapore-Jakarta-Bandung-Jakarta

My little pleasant holiday. I just need a quick break from work so I ditched Singapore and went back to my hometown to see my papa. I missed him so :). Anyway, I have just came back from Bandung...omgosh...lovely place...friendly people...

Went to a beautiful wedding of Icha & Sun-sun. I wish I know them a lot more :). Now, they no longer in Singapore. Wish them all the best for the new chapter of their life. Must thank them also otherwise I would not take a holiday, go to Bandung and be blessed.

I was encouraged this morning by just joining the church service. That was great. God, need lotsa those times with you. Sorry I am the one that has been running away.

I want to endure my circumstances, to accept with both hands, to walk through it with Him, to experience His love, to grow in character, to give what has been entrusted to me, to serve Him. I had disobeyed but graciously He will not let me go that path. Lord, I want to obey you. Give me new chance that I may be like your son, Jesus. Help me and strengthen me. I know you are with me. I love you, Lord.

Life is not about being happy
Life is not about being free from suffering
Life is a journey to be more like Christ

Life is made of choices
we need not be the victim of our circumstances

Only do what the Lord says

Trust and obey
for there is no other way
to be happy in Jesus
but to trust and obey...

Dialogue with self

Lilis...calm down. I think you are just tired. Cheer up, girl! Whatever m can say...whatever K...whatever Y...whatever N whatever R...whatever M...whatever...oh whatever...

Your confidence comes from the Lord. And remember...He is always sovereign...He is always in control...there are always good reasons for Him to allow some pain on your way...most probably to mature your characters. Accept with both hands the situation. Welcome the hardship with joy...count it all as a fellowship of His suffering. Your boss enjoys putting people down...especially when he needs to get his point across and win the verbal battle. Let him say whatever he wants, but don't take it personally. Otherwise it is going to be difficult working with him. At the moment, yes, you are not skillful yet in shutting off your ears to those hurtful words. But, hard work normally pays off. Be patient in affliction...endure the light momentary troubles...by the grace that God provided.

He never allows hardship to come to our way without enabling us or leaving us alone without any provision.

• Never...never allow them to change your life principles, never compromise godly values. It is worth the fight.
  
• Never...never be afraid of making mistakes, life is full of them, they are inevitable. Don't be discouraged!
• Quit trying to please everyone. Learn to do so. No matter how hard. People are so fickle, a chasing after the wind.
• When you need to delegate, take a deep breath, smile, make eye contacts and just do it!
• Debt chaser, what a horrible job! but see it this way...you will then have the courage..years after you will think this is such a valuable experience. Imagine, if the money is your money, what would you do? what would you say? usually it is common sense.
  
• Be confident! not because you have all the skills and you are experienced. But, it is because God wants you to be where you are, at present. You can be sure He is there also. So...be confident!
• When you are tempted to complain, this is not easy especially you live in a country where people think they have not lived if they do not complain. Complaining means you are lacking in something and it could possibly be only a small thing. But, it sure makes it difficult to enjoy something bigger. Your life.
• The boss can say whatever they want, it is because they are the boss. You will get your right when you are in their position. But, they are human like us, things do not always follow their way of thinking, their opinions are not always right. Let them be...if they are angry and miserable...it is their own problem. If they are bitter and nasty, they have a problem...should be pitied. Of course, you are not a saint. No one is. If you found that you are extremely annoyed with them, it is perfectly normal. Just... who enjoys to be scolded?

Survival steps:

• pray to God, it brings you to the source of hope and help (yes, you need help!)
• channel out stress and anger through doing whatever relaxes you, have some fun
• do escape from the noise and the crowd because it helps to calm down and clear your mind
• Yeah...try not to make any decision when you are still hot-headed. Most of the time it leads to regrets

Not easy to do. But, gotta have to. God will give grace. Use them.

You are not alone in this!

Philippians

God of Comfort

O God, who makest cheerfulness and companion of strength, but apt to take wings in time of sorrow, we humbly beseech Thee that if in Thy sovereign wisdom, Thou sendest weakness, yet for Thy mercy's sake deny us not the comfort of patience. Lay not more upon us, O heavenly Father, than Thou wilt enable us to bear, and since the fretfulness of our spirits is more hurtful than the heaviness of our burden, grant us that heavenly calmness which comes of owning Thy hands in all things, and patience in the trust that Thou doest all things well. Amen.

Rowland Williams 1818-1870

taken from Secure in the Everlasting Arm by Elisabeth Elliot

Not Happy

I am not happy

I am not happy

I am not happy


Lord help me. I don't want to make another mistake.

I am tired. I can not delegate tasks. I am basically a slave...people dump work at me. However, I am not a student anymore. Why do I have to bear other's problems when I can barely help mine.

I think it is the time to move on.

I think it is the time to really look for another job.

There are so many companies out there and beneo is only one of them

I dont have to be afraid of what people going to say to me

I am not going to be put down

They never know exactly what's going on 100% and always bias towards themselves

I want a permanent job and if they can not give me then I can not insist.

Let's see what K can do. Even if He gave me, it will be in the sales support area. Do I still want to do that? Do I still like that?

If Y can do that (and she is a secretary), why he needs a food techie to do that? save me Lord, save me from people that only wants to manipulate.

Please.... if what I need is contentment, please hold me back and let me know...let me have it

If what I need is courage to let go and move on...let me have that also

Because I have neither of the two.

About Work

Dear Ms,

I have wanted to talk with you regarding my work responsibilities but I have not any chance to speak with you personally. Hence, I am writing to you.

To be honest, I cannot manage my work properly now. I am overloaded with marketing and sales support work. These last two months, O has given me a regular task to create sales performance report across the three business units for his region and also providing O sales support for the regions. Beside these, marketing tasks from A includes organizing marketing events: making the event list, brochures & marketing gifts stock and order, artwork, budgeting for events, furniture order, preparing things to pack, mending the stand, hotel, flights, handouts, liaising with people involved. In addition to that, market research, updating new product launches database and the list is not exhaustive. I am not sure whether you are aware of these responsibilities.

Hopefully, I do not give the wrong impression that I do not like my work. I have learned a lot from this job and starting to get the big picture of how sales, marketing and technical can complement each other for the good of the company. However, I am losing my track and the quality of the work done seems unacceptable. I have spoken to K and M a few times regarding my responsibilities and being overloaded but somehow the message does not seem to get through. There is no objection with being given various tasks as it will increase my knowledge of the business but I really struggle in meeting all these priorities.

I still enjoy the technical and marketing role and had given my very best to complete all the tasks. If the quality of my work no longer meets the company standards, I am ready to withdraw my application. You have been very kind for giving me this opportunity and I truly enjoy working with you. But, I cannot perform if I have too much on my plate.

PS: I am still interested in a permanent position, if it comes with manageable responsibilities.

Hope you can help, A.

Thank you.

Regards,

GJP Fan

Modified for privacy purpose.

Gempar

Oh sebelum gua membeberkan kejadian hari ini, photo yang ada di blog ini adalah photo Notre Dame Cathedral dan sebelah kanannya Post Office, dua tempat yang sempat dikunjungi selama di Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam.

Ok, dimulailah cerita hari ini. Hari ini gua cukup merasa tertekan, bukan hanya mau ke India besokkannya tetapi juga harus ngumpulin sales report ke mr. K. Gue berkali2 berkunjung ke wc untuk berdoa. Sebelum makan siang, mr. K dateng ke meja gua dan ngasih liat gimana caranya bikin report yang dia mau. Gua merasa bodoh dan merasa sangat membuang2 banyak waktu dia. Dia keliatannya kesel banget ama gua. Kata2nya:

1. Are you an organized person or not?
2. Have you called the embassy? Why not? (gua udah telpon berkali2 tuh embassy chile tapi gak ada yang angkat)

Yang paling sakit itu nomer 1. Tapi, gua juga bodoh sih. Udah tahu banyak tapi masih tahan2 dan gak ngomong apa2. Kadang2 serba salah juga sih, soalnya gua bukannya gak pernah ngomong soal being overloaded. Tapi karena pengalaman yang kurang menyenangkan, disindir balik ama si boss, yah males lah, kerjaannya dikit gak ngapa2in bla bla. Anyway, gua mulai suka sih ama kerjaan gua cuma yang namanya overloaded, nothing enjoyable.

Setelah makan siang, berita terbongkar, mr. M resigned. Kita semua reaksinya biasa aja, tapi sebenarnya cukup kaget. Mengapa dia resign? Gila kayak disamber gledek sih. Boss gua kliatannya cukup kecewa.

Kadang gua merasa, kenapa gua gak lebih bawel, bnyk bacot dikit, jadi lebih bisa ngejelasin situasi sama si boss. Si boss tadi cukup kecewa dan merasa kerjaan gua mulai gak ke manage dengan baik. Yach gimana toch? kerjaan gua bnyk. Sales performance report every month, Sales support yang kebnykan dadakan dan penuh dengan customer-customer penting yang gak bisa ditunda2 trus ditambah lagi ngurusin event2, yach kalo belum pernah, cukup bikin tegang soalnya menyangkut nama baik perusahaan. Coba ada salah sedikit. Kalo Palatinit yach, marketingnya kudu perfectto. Image harus image premium, classy, high end. Tapi mr. M itu gak pernah perduli terlalu banyak ama yang begitu2an. Dia emang ternyata gak gitu demen berkecimpung dalam marketing dan pengen move on totally terjun ke sales.

Boss gua hampir kehilangan confidence akan gua. Gua juga rada bete sih ama dia, tukang nyuruh2 tanpa pengen tahu keadaan orang gimana. Tapi, dia kayaknya ada usaha juga sih untuk lebih adil. Dia memang gak se-generous palatinit tapi dia oklah. Gua ngerasa gak enak ma dia setelah ikutan2 colleague lain ngomongin dia dari belakang.

Anywae, tomorrow I will leave for Mumbai. Serem2 seneng. Mudah2an gua dapet waktu istirahat disana dan bisa enjoy kerja (kick ass begitu...)

Mumbai, Namaste!

dari makanan street sampai Bollywood, dari Slums sampe Ganesh festival. Mumbai India's best of the best. We'll see...

Ho Chi Minh, Xin Chao!

Travel Diary: SIN - SGN

Day 1

Arrived at 18:45 Tan Son Nhat airport. First impression: this airport is smaller than Soekarno-Hatta but it is strangely homey. I was picked up by the hotel and soon experience Saigon street. I simply loved it! why? it reminds me of muara karang. Motorbikes are everywhere. I think there were average 10 motorbikes in a second. It is more exotic than my hometown because of the many art galleries, collonial architecture and not to forget friendly people.

The hotel, fabulous. Though my USD got confiscated (because I don't have a credit card) I had my little own time even though I did not manage to wander on the first night in Saigon. I had to work on those handouts straightaway until 11 pm. I was so hungry and had one vanilla ring cookie and one pistachio cookie. Anyway, I soaked myself in a hot bath. That was a treat. Thank you, Lord!

Day 2

Morning:

Planned to check those presentation. My phone card, Singtel, no money, can not top up overseas!!! was panicking incase my boss looked for me. Can not enjoy buffet breakfast. But had crispy waffle with maple syrup. It was heaven! some hash browns and bacon bits. Comfort food. The waitress told me to go on fourth floor to get a Viet Tel card 200,000 Vietnam Dong...alright. for the sake of communication with Suong & Mr. M.

Afternoon:

I planned to wander after sorting the phone card and presentations but it took too long until I had to force myself for a lunch break. Can't rely go out, I had Pho at the hotel. Yeah...I was sitting there I wish I had a friend with me to go to Pho 24. The waitress told me to go for a walk, gave me a map and told me where to go in Saigon. But I was too busy. Not long after, I got the news that all my other colleagues are checked in the hotel with Suong. I finally meet our Vietnamese agents. They are lovely people. We had Vietnamese Coffee at the lobby lounge....I was so happy to see familiar faces. At 5 pm, our presentation meeting. Just as Ita said, expect surprises....the vietnamese font in my presentations was all wrong! There was a little chaos but it was manageable.

Night:

Thank you for my helpful colleagues HF and CG. You are God sent! After the meeting, we went to "Wrap & Roll"...I was happy did not have Pho for dinner, I started to feel bored with noodles. Wrap & roll was just nice...viet wrap...yummm. Oh btw, we were meant to set up the room at 4 pm but the hotel slot in a family function at 5 pm and our agents were not too happy. The hotel comforted us by offering free meeting room for 5 pm. So, that was good. The event manager, Thuyet, poor dear Thuyet was so busy for the whole day yet she impressed me. She promised to finish setting up at 9:30 pm and call me and she did it on time. Renaissance hotel staff, I am really impressed! you guys have been one of the most helpful bunch. Did you realize that it brings many praises to my God? The staff did all you can to help us and I am most grateful. Thank you Hieu and your boys, you all such a good team waitress, I enjoyed working with you all. You all made me fell in love with Saigon!

to be continued...

Good night Ho chi Minh!

PS: I am too lazy to upload my own picture. Above just a few real pictures that I think represent Saigon.

Vietnam, Here I come!