Counting my blessings

I had a good chat with Cecel just now at church and it was really good to hear similar struggles and feelings from her. She had encouraged me so much and there was a lot of sharing from her part as well. Anyway...I won't detail out the conversations (because it is not for public consumption ;p). I only want to share the things that stuck in me from what she shared. We talked about laboring and toiling for the work of the Lord. It was hard work yet she said some people can just pour out their lives for others. She said these people have their cup full and overflowing and so they were able to share it to others. We admired these people and would like to experience that in our lives. She also mentioned abt her experiencing God's love and grace in her life, that are the things that keeps her go on serving.

I hope I never appear to be strong or pretend to be strong to any of you. Because I am not. and because I am actually very weak. She made me wants to count my blessings, tracing the hands of the Lord's faithfulness despite the burnt out that I faced. So, that is what exactly what I am doing now.

I thank God for:

• Both of my parents. Pa, Ma, I knew I had a hard time understanding you and I am sure you feel the same too. But, I just want to say that even though we protest or trying to break free from the rules and the obedience required, I just want to be thankful for you both. Because, you both love us dearly. Dear enough to care that much about us. Forgive our rebellions and many debates that might have upset you. Thank you for bearing with us, understanding us (especially Dad, you are so gooood, I love you kiss, kiss) and working hard for raising us. We hope we will be able to be good son and daughter for you all. All the more, we hope be a faithful witness to present you Christ through our word and deed. So that you too may share our joys in Him and serving the Lord together with you for the rest of our lives.
  
• Tracey my mentor in NZ. Although sometimes I felt that our culture clashes and we might not understand each other, I am grateful for your guidance and constant support throughout the entire year and difficult final semester in NZ. Thank you for laughing, praying, crying with me, listening to my crap, investing for the progress of my soul and having me in your house and your library. Thank you for cooking brown rice when we had chinese dishes. I felt very healthy and I've grown to enjoy brown rice. Thank you for the book "search the scriptures". Wow, the most excellent and rewarding bible study guides I ever had.
  
• Andrew Lim. Thank you for your passion for the Word of God, Holiness, getting us in scripture studies, students life, evangelism, apologetics, ministering the poor and despised. Thank you. You break the paradigm I have for preacher and you are the most daring, the most honest, the most inspiring, the most passionate preacher of the Word in NZ. Every single sunday, you always leave me thirst for God. I really like what you said about not underestimating the minds of young people. Hence, you always give us meat to eat and never milk. You fed my hungry soul despite I don't really talk much to you but God has used you to provide me with solid food and preserve my faith while I am in NZ. The only time talking was the time of praying near the cross with you, and I mostly cried. So...sorry.
  
• Kak Ivan. Thank you for faithfully ministering small group of teenagers in our school. I have given my life to Christ through your ministry. You have challenged us ever since in senior high that we must not be ignorant and passed our days without thinking. Thinking about worldview we held, thinking about the purpose of life, thinking about what we believer in and how we are living it out. Thank you for providing biblical teaching to us and you have grown the desire in me to pursue God and trust Him. God has used you to grow my faith in Him and I am ever thankful for your service, hardwork and investment in our souls.
• PNOCF (Palmy Overseas Christian Fellowship). Wow! bitter sweet memories. But, thank you guys, thank you for being my company in journeying this life of faith together. Despite many downs, we really clicked aye and had a lot of fun together. Thank you for sharing the same passion for the gospel and reaching out to the lost friends on campus. Despite our busyness, we managed to slot in a few good things for us to do. Always enjoy meals with you and breaking the ice. Thank you for your faith in Christ and examples you put for me, your patience with me and willingness to be my friend despite me being a difficult person (easy to be anxious and grumpy and all that). I learnt so much and changed so much as a person after my time in OCF. I was very timid, quiet and does not have social skills (hahaha). Then after I became 'wild', crazy, bubbly, can approach strangers, can embarassed myself in front of public. Aiya, doing all the skits and dancing blabla. But I now, I am sort of retreating to my initial quiet, properly, behave Lilis. Not losing some of my silly traits lah. HAHAHA. I appreciate Nigel posted our south island trip video in 2006. Huaaa. miss youuu: Mike, Anne, Nigel, NaiC, Miche, Es, Uncle Loh, Poon, Tina, Jess, YY, Steve, Ian, Twins.
  
• TSCF (Tertiary Students Christian Fellowship). Thank you for all the intensive teachings and unpacking the word. From you, I can get in touch with most of the student leaders in NZ and can exchange ideas, build network and supoort each other. I thought that is really cool. Equipped better to minister students around the campus. I always scared and nervous whenever it is the time to do wednesday evangelism. Certainly the skills developed from there really useful for me as a person and I can use it anywhere. Thank you for sharing the passion for good biblical teaching, for books!!! thank for introducing J. Piper, J. Stott, J. Bridges, C. S. Lewis, D. A. Carson, Spurgeon, Chambers, which otherwise I wouldn't have a clue. Thank you for interesting and fun staff worker to work with and learn from.
• Ci Phebe and anak-anak GKBHJ mk. Thank you peeps because you are my sipiritual home when I am back in Jakarta. Thank you Ci, udah mo doain saya, makan siang sama saya, dengerin curhat saya, nanyain kabar saya. Semuanyaa deh. Anak-anak GKBHJ, you guys are lively bunch! thank you for lending me your listening ears, and praying for me and exchanging books with me!! woohoo. Di GKBHJ, seklaipun preachers from many different denom. but some are from STEMI students so we do get good good meaty sermons. I sensed a community in this church. I do pray how I might be of help for you all when my faith are back in shape and my personal relationship with God is stronger.
  
• Dedeku sayang. Thankful that He gave his life to God. This is one of God's greatest gift apart from my own salvation. Imagine a thin boundary between Heaven and Hell and He was just fortunate enough (meaning God has looked on him with favor) to break through and get saved! Fiuh. You won't understand it until when you are witnessing to others and there was no response at all from them. Thank you for praying for me and listen to my crap and also my curhat too. Thank you for listening and your willingness to change your bad habits. I can see you are progressing. amazing God workings, aye dear!
• Thank you for Mark who brought me home from SLC because I was really sick.
• Thank you that Vanya was the doctor that I saw, cos she is from my church. She is really nice.
• Thank you for Sue, my dear gud hostmum. Despite our different beliefs, we were able to get along and you have been very kind to me. God is good to put me there in your house.
• My first work as a cashier. I am glad I tasted hard labor, otherwise I won't be able to sympathize with those who are in. Altho, mine one was just working in a budget supermarket and yea punk people. It was still pretty nice tho compare to other kinds of labor.
• My second work, eventhough I was not paid but I learnt heaps, critical thinking, analyzing results and intrepreting graphs. Cheers Touc.
• My third work, wow, working there it was lotsa fun. Enjoyed the tea breaks, snacks, people, events, and bugging my boss with questions. Thank to Suzanne, I didn't know you enjoyed me working there. I enjoyed working with you as well.

I want to experience more of You, Lord. I want to be able to trace until the smallest things you did for me so that I may testify it that You are always with me.