Frustrations

Campur Sari Part 3

Serving

I have had my say on the act of serving and the object of service in my previous post. I feel that I must also touch on the motivation of serving, the passion or the conviction to serve. What is the purpose of our lives? for if we do not serve our Lord, our life is meaningless. I have been praying that God will open my eyes so that I may know that it is God's immense grace for me to be given the opportunity to serve Him. To be given skills and talents for the expansion of His kingdom on this earth. Have I used them for His Glory? or have I ran away like the servant with one talent...afraid...and thus buried it? I to be honest am scared to be irresponsible. But, I also dread the responsibility. Oh save me! Lest I do not serve my God and give Thee as Thou deservest.

Lord, I don't want to write/talk too much, because the words may betray the speaker.
Give me a servant heart, for this little woman has none.
Give me a conviction to serve, that it may hold me, possess me strong despite any challenges or hardship
Give me a heart that is willing to pay the price, to bear some pains and to fear no men.
Release me from my anxiety and strengthen my faith in You. Save me for your sake.

Oh shall I not boast on my weaknesses...for the strength of my mighty God will down on me.

The days are short and our chance to serve Him is not many. How about the population of the world...day by day people live without the gospel...without any lifeline...are we going to sit here and not reach out to them? Has the gospel brought life to you? if it has, it will move you to share it to others. What a joy to partake in such work, ensuring one person has jumped from hell to heaven! What a joy to join the angels break forth in singing as one soul is secured! What a joy to know that we can be part of this!!! C'mon Lilis! kick ass!!!

I have been greedy!

Tuhan...
Sorry...
I have been greedy!
Thanks for reminding me
I hope I didn't blow anything
God...
Thank you for my job once again
There are so many people without job out there
Or even in a job with a situation worse than I am.
I am lucky to have settled in this job
L.U.C.K.Y
blessed I mean...

Nobody but you

you gotta post this when the stress hits. Intro vocal was really really great!

Prayer Meeting

Wah...Thank God He spoke to me a lot tonight. I was feeling a little exhausted with everything that is going on, a little dry (spiritually) because of my sins. Big Sigh.

1. Pak Yahya wah...eksposisinya itu lho! sekalipun sering denger ini passage, mbikin gua kepengennnnn dan pengennnnn lebih rajin lagi baca firman Tuhan. Rasanya firman Tuhan itu kok gua gak dapet2 banyak. Rinduuuu begitu...aku ngaku kurang disiplin pagi hari. Suka setengah2 bacanya trus sambil ngantuk2. Belakangan ini jarang bgt dig deep seperti study2 yang dulu bisa dilakuin. George Whitefield pernah bilang begini "Don't go out to do other things without your heart being warmed first by God's word". Wah, kata2 dia selalu terngiang-ngiang di pagi hari. Dia bilang kalau sebelum baca firman mendingan jangan doa lama2. Nanti setelah selesai pasti doanya lancar. Bukan masalah lama cepetnya, tapi biasanya setelah mendapatkan sesuatu dari Tuhan, hati kita akan terasa hangat dan ucapan syukur pun jadi lebih sincere and genuine. Jadi tahu apa yang mesti didoakan. Aduh...Tuhan...tolong...aku pokoknya gak mau beranjak sebelum Engkau memberikan sesuatu padaku untuk hari itu.
2. Tadi diingatkan mengenai dosa sendiri. Kadang udah tahu ya kalo jangan suka menghakimi orang lain. Tapi gua yakin, Tuhan sudah mengingatkan gua beberapa hari kemarin. Setelah gua menghakimi, gua malah buat kesalahan yang orang itu buat. Emang bener, ingat dosa sendiri itu gak mudah, ngomongin dan ngakuinnya itu gak mudah. Tapi, mending energinya dipakai untuk belajar mengampuni daripada menghakimi orang.
   
3. Gua semakin tersentuh akan kasih Tuhan. Keseimbangan antara kasih dan adil yang Tuhan miliki itu indah sekali. Adil & Kasih: hukuman dosa kita bukannya dihilangkan tapi Ia pikul. Indah banget yaaa...
4. Ita shared mengenai kesempatan dia menginjili dan orangnya merespons. Wah, sungguh sukacita besar ya bisa ngalamin itu. Pengen Tuhan...orang yang aku injili bisa merespons "yes". Tapi aku tahu, aku dituntut untuk setia menanam dan menyiram apakah orangnya menerima ataupun mengeraskan hati. Biarlah penginjilan saya yang kurang sempurna itu, Tuhan pakai. Biarlah aku bersedia diperlengkapi su;paya bisa nyampein injil secara lengkap dan biblical.
   
5. Gua cukup tersentuh dengan effort yang dibuat oleh anak-anak pengurus disini. Apalagi setelah gua ngeliat kartu doa buat kkr. Mereka sungguh2 serius. Saya yang tadinya main2 juga diajak serius. Mudah2an Tuhan membiarkan kalian melihat hasil tuaian yang besar!

cukup sudah untuk hari ini. sekalipun muasih banyak pisan yang mau ditulis. apa daya. kalo besok mau bangun pagi kudu siap2 buat renungan besok biar bisa dapet banyak!! tata

Selingan

I was doing my devotional time this morning and I remember this song! Haha. How the heck I think of this song? Poor concentration....morning blues... NO!

I was reading Exodus 33:12-fin "Moses and the Glory of the LORD"

¹² Moses said to the LORD, "You have been telling me, 'Lead these people,' but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' ¹³ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people."

¹⁴ The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

¹⁵ Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. ¹⁶ How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

¹⁷ And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name."

¹⁸ Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory."

¹⁹ And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. ²⁰ But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live."

²¹ Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. ²² When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. ²³ Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."

Wouldn't it be nice to see God face to face? God said that He is pleased with you and will show you His glory? God will pass by you and you were put in a cleft in the rock and was covered by The Lord's hand until He passed by? He will then remove His hand and show you His back???? I found God is very loving towards Moses and I would like to come near Him...

Wouldn't it be nice?

Campur sari part 2

Work

Was just reading my previous post and I said that the part where things do not meet my expectations, it drawn me closer to God. I think I did not make that clear enough. What I mean was it taught me that nothing, nothing shall be satisfying except God. The only thing that can make you absolutely happy is God. In the end, the failure of work, friends, family, money, riches, fame to provide the true pleasure should point us to God. It reminds me that nothing can make me truly happy but God. He is perfect and everything else is not. Only one thing I ask of God, make me serve you when I am working. I am not working for men neither myself nor my family. But, I am working for You. Should the Devil try to deviate this thoughts away by placing obstacles, let him suffer in hell! Please give me holy motivation to work, a decided mind to glorify You in whatever I do. May it point the people in my surrounding to You. Who am I, Lord? that you should choose me and be gracious to me? God show mercy to whom He chose to show mercy, God show compassion to whom He chose to show compassion. Why should I be so privileged? Remember Lilis...your life is not your own. You have given it up to Him. May this puny life be a fragrant offering to Him. I know...Satan will not be silent. Protect us all Lord! give us discernment to know the trap he set before us. So that we may not sin. Oh, what power we have in our hands because of Christ Jesus! We don't have to sin. The Lord Almighty will give him the ending he deserve. Never be weary in prayer! Satan trembles when he sees...the weakest saint on his knees. Go to the one who is powerful and rely on him!

Serving

Haha. Ita chase me up to do this post. Thanks for the encouragement! You are a good friend and a role model :D! May the Lord bless you richly.

What is serving?

Singing in Choir? Leading a small group? Managing Audio & Visuals? Leading worship? Playing instruments? greet people at church? I would like to challenge us all to take the matter of serving not only in the context of helping at church but our whole life. As we serve, we need to ask who do we serve? ourselves? our friends? or... our Lord?

The act of serving:

Nowadays, people seems to think that as long as I serve at church, it makes me feel holier and when I go back to my school or work or family, I can do what I want. In other words, it make payment for the wrongs that I made on the other days. "Oh no...we don't do that..." Really?? Or I scared if my church leader will chase me up and demand for my hands and so I just do it...I am serving now...are you happy?? These kind of attitude should not be encouraged by the leaders.

Why? we nullify the sacrifice of Jesus, He had already set us free from bondage and slavery of sin. It was all because of grace and our salvation can not be earned by 'serving' at church. Church leaders should not manipulate their authority to get people working. Be patient and Don't worry too much of not having people to help! If God really wants this person to help out, He will get him. He will provide the willing workers. After all, what is in your agenda? God's agenda or your agenda? Is it God's ministry or your ministry? It is not successful in the eyes of man but are we valuing The Lord's work using human standards? The Lord will do as He pleases...

Don't get me wrong, I do not encourage laziness neither selfishness. Keep praying for these people that the Lord will change their heart. Our greatest temptation is to think that we are holy by 'serving' at church but it was Jesus' blood that made us holy. It is total sadness when we suppose to be joyful in serving the Lord, experiencing His power working thru us and yet we were wishing to do something else.

The object of service:

Who do we serve? are we serving others so that we might be seen as a good person, kind and famous? this objective of serving will not last long. You will die in exhaustion and it will not glorify God because of your selfish motives. Let us serve God out of our thanks to Him. Let God purify our motives and correct our ways. Let us experience the true joy of serving the Almighty. We do not have to be the super busy Christians. There is always time to do the will of God yet most of the time we do not seek the Lord's will and just do everything. We can not help everyone, We can not do everything is there in the ministry. Just do the will of God and that is sufficient. For God sake and for your sake, just do what God has called you to do. You will find joy in it and grow in Him. God, I want to know your will. Give me the courage to say no to other things and the strength to hold to that stand. Don't allow me make the same mistake twice. What an expensive price I paid!

As we serve the Lord through serving people, I am sure you will want to give your best. What is the most precious, invaluable, important treasure you can give to others? Bear with me as I prepare my words.

as for now, I want to feast on some of the books my friends gave me...Shadow of the Almighty and Screwtape. That was great gifts, people! haha.

Campur Sari part 1

I want to write but the words would not flow. Thoughts are everywhere and I feel I need to pour it out. I have been thinking a lot of things these days:

• Work
• Serving
• Evangelism Explosion

Work

I DONT KNOW!!! I work in an MNC, I have business trips, I work normal business hours, I know my colleagues well now, I work in food technology field even though not in technical position, I still deal with food things, I like talking to people and market our products to them, I like analyzing how the company performing in terms of sales. What else do I want? we can't get everything we want. I think the part where it does not meet my expectations really draw me closer to God. I become more dependent on Him and relying on His strength.

I found out that my manager does not know that I was not a permanent staff. All the while they think I am and He said He will talk to Mr. K. Now, it really makes me think hard whether I still want to do this job, whether I will survive under two demanding guys. I mean Mr. K works hard and his company is really doing well in terms of sales, world leader. Standard of work is high. But, he is quite stingy for a European, hahaha. In fact, he is a China man. Thrifty Asians combined with Proud Choleric European create the most deadly mutant ever imagined. Thanks to Darwin's natural selection yeah! such species survived. No. God's grace to him.

Anyway, let's put aside the weaknesses of my boss or my colleagues. I think I will encounter people like this in all the walks of my life. I can not isolated myself from the consequences of their sins. I can not escape the pain they caused. I have my own weaknesses too and they had to bear that also. The only thing I see since the beginning of the year, it is that I must, should, ought, have to, need to, learn to say NO! I was reading Wiersbe's God isn't in a hurry, it was saying we need not be celebrity Christians. Oh Thank God!

In fact, this will lead to my thoughts on serving. What does it mean by serving? How does the church nowadays view serving? How should I serve? that is coming next.

Sudah malam teman-teman. Kasurku sudah menunggu. Met bobo. zzz

Conviction.Vietnam.Work

Ahh Vietnam I visit you soon...will I get to visit Halong Bay?? probably Ho Chi Minh and taste the real beef noodle. Siapakah aku ini Tuhan...jadi biji mataMu? dengan apakah ku balas Tuhan slain puji dan sembah Kau...really thanks to God. I am enjoying my work. Terima kasih Tuhan!

"Opinion is something that you hold but conviction is something that holds you." Talk about being convicted in Christ. Lord, help Mr. K and Mr. M to know you.

Nuhun, Bapa!

• Thank you Lord! Despite a hard day today and full of pressures, You are faithful!
• Thank you that I don't have to rush to Suntec to send the stuff for FDi. Instead, I was left at the office can do sales report for Mr. K. I am glad I can be of used to him. Thank you he was happy, but I still have not done Korea, Japan & India sales but He was contented.
• Thank you I managed to have lunch today even though I was late for lunch and no more rice left. Udon was sufficient.
• Thank you for sending Hui Fern letting me to pass "Product Sheet" work to MHC.
• Thank you I almost complaint for the workload but you prevented me.
• Thank you that I don't have to bring our pull ups home otherwise I wouldn't know how to carry, cos it's quite heavy and have to take bus, mrt and walk home.
• Thank you for sending Mr. M back to the office, I thought he would 'ponteng' (off to home after suntec)!
• Thank you for colleagues that pity me, I needed that! I was so stressed this morning!
• Thank you, Mr. K tomorrow is going to Jakarta, fiuhh and will see him again on monday!! Haha. Mr. K despite of your choleric temperament, forgetfulness and mean words, I am glad I can work for you. Somehow. Pardon me too, if I was too sensitive.
• I don't work well under pressure. If you allow me to relax a bit, I will do the job very well.