I am feeling much better.
Today a short post.
Yeap. Work is okay now.
Reading EE book makes me feel better.
I learn to trust God
I learn to appreciate pain
I was brought in awe of people's willingness to follow Jesus and hence my own commitment.
Honest answer, following and obeying God is not easy. But, it is necessary.
that God's will can be found if we are willing to spend some time waiting on Him in quietness and full immersion in His Word.
that praying is difficult but makes my mind clearer and less fuzzy than usual.
debated with my boss. makes me want to learn more about the history of christianity and how reasonable my belief is. My tendency is towards pokokism (I don't care, it must be true). They don't appreciate personal experience with God ya...like what the Samaritan woman shared.
I hope to trust my Mighty God. Trust in His character. Rather than judging who He is through the situation I am in but judging my situation through who He is.
God must be exalted. God is trustworthy. God is completely sovereign over all things. Only...only allow Him to use you in whatever situation you are in no matter how degrading or humiliating in human eyes.
I bought a nail color "sweet pea". It was disgusting.
Aiyah...the story of my life.
28 July 2009
27 July 2009
Calvin on the Gospel
Without the gospel
everything is useless and vain;
without the gospel
we are not Christians;
without the gospel
all riches is poverty,
all wisdom folly before God;
strength is weakness,
and all the justice of man is under the condemnation of God.
But by the knowledge of the gospel we are made
children of God,
brothers of Jesus Christ,
fellow townsmen with the saints,
citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven,
heirs of God with Jesus Christ, by whom
the poor are made rich,
the weak strong,
the fools wise,
the sinner justified,
the desolate comforted,
the doubting sure,
and slaves free.
It is the power of God for the salvation of all those who believe.
It follows that every good thing we could think or desire is to be found in this same Jesus Christ alone.
For, he was
sold, to buy us back;
captive, to deliver us;
condemned, to absolve us;
he was
made a curse for our blessing,
[a] sin offering for our righteousness;
marred that we may be made fair;
he died for our life; so that by him
fury is made gentle,
wrath appeased,
darkness turned into light,
fear reassured,
despisal despised,
debt canceled,
labor lightened,
sadness made merry,
misfortune made fortunate,
difficulty easy,
disorder ordered,
division united,
ignominy ennobled,
rebellion subjected,
intimidation intimidated,
ambush uncovered,
assaults assailed,
force forced back,
combat combated,
war warred against,
vengeance avenged,
torment tormented,
damnation damned,
the abyss sunk into the abyss,
hell transfixed,
death dead,
mortality made immortal.
In short,
mercy has swallowed up all misery,
and goodness all misfortune.
For all these things which were to be the weapons of the devil in his battle against us, and the sting of death to pierce us, are turned for us into exercises which we can turn to our profit.
If we are able to boast with the apostle, saying, O hell, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting? it is because by the Spirit of Christ promised to the elect, we live no longer, but Christ lives in us; and we are by the same Spirit seated among those who are in heaven, so that for us the world is no more, even while our conversation is in it; but we are content in all things, whether country, place, condition, clothing, meat, and all such things.
And we are
comforted in tribulation,
joyful in sorrow,
glorying under vituperation,
abounding in poverty,
warmed in our nakedness,
patient amongst evils,
living in death.
This is what we should in short seek in the whole of Scripture: truly to know Jesus Christ, and the infinite riches that are comprised in him and are offered to us by him from God the Father.
Thanks to Scott!
everything is useless and vain;
without the gospel
we are not Christians;
without the gospel
all riches is poverty,
all wisdom folly before God;
strength is weakness,
and all the justice of man is under the condemnation of God.
But by the knowledge of the gospel we are made
children of God,
brothers of Jesus Christ,
fellow townsmen with the saints,
citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven,
heirs of God with Jesus Christ, by whom
the poor are made rich,
the weak strong,
the fools wise,
the sinner justified,
the desolate comforted,
the doubting sure,
and slaves free.
It is the power of God for the salvation of all those who believe.
It follows that every good thing we could think or desire is to be found in this same Jesus Christ alone.
For, he was
sold, to buy us back;
captive, to deliver us;
condemned, to absolve us;
he was
made a curse for our blessing,
[a] sin offering for our righteousness;
marred that we may be made fair;
he died for our life; so that by him
fury is made gentle,
wrath appeased,
darkness turned into light,
fear reassured,
despisal despised,
debt canceled,
labor lightened,
sadness made merry,
misfortune made fortunate,
difficulty easy,
disorder ordered,
division united,
ignominy ennobled,
rebellion subjected,
intimidation intimidated,
ambush uncovered,
assaults assailed,
force forced back,
combat combated,
war warred against,
vengeance avenged,
torment tormented,
damnation damned,
the abyss sunk into the abyss,
hell transfixed,
death dead,
mortality made immortal.
In short,
mercy has swallowed up all misery,
and goodness all misfortune.
For all these things which were to be the weapons of the devil in his battle against us, and the sting of death to pierce us, are turned for us into exercises which we can turn to our profit.
If we are able to boast with the apostle, saying, O hell, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting? it is because by the Spirit of Christ promised to the elect, we live no longer, but Christ lives in us; and we are by the same Spirit seated among those who are in heaven, so that for us the world is no more, even while our conversation is in it; but we are content in all things, whether country, place, condition, clothing, meat, and all such things.
And we are
comforted in tribulation,
joyful in sorrow,
glorying under vituperation,
abounding in poverty,
warmed in our nakedness,
patient amongst evils,
living in death.
This is what we should in short seek in the whole of Scripture: truly to know Jesus Christ, and the infinite riches that are comprised in him and are offered to us by him from God the Father.
Thanks to Scott!
23 July 2009
Berat
Saya betul2 merasa berat. Kayaknya memikul beban yang berat. Semua orang kasih kerjaan ke saya. No wonder saya stress. Semua orang expectationnya tinggi ya. Bukannya saya gak mau kerja atau malas kerja. Saya kerja keras untuk get semuanya out. Tapi apa...semuanya itu gak ada habis2nya. Kalian yah...kalian kira saya tidak bisa resign?
Kalian pikir kalian bisa abuse saya? Nanti kalau saya resign baru tahu rasa yah!
Saya akan tertawa sekeras2nya...
Tuhan berikan saya hikmat untuk handle situasi seperti ini. Saya kalo terus begini bakal balik depresi lagi Tuhan. Saya bisa ngerasain beban berat. Berikan saya telinga yang kebal kata2 dan punya tekad untuk katakan kepada orang lain apa yang memang menjadi tugasnya dan apa yang memang menjadi tugas saya saya kerjakan. Tapi saya berasa seperti budak yang disuruh2 dan gak boleh nolak. Tuhan, aduh si Mr. M pengen saya tonjok, Tuhan! Mentang2 cowok. Mentang2 lebih tua, sok kegantengan lagi!!! Mentang2 manager. Saya gak tahan, Tuhan.
si Mr K. oke sih. Cuma dia itu demanding bgt!!! Aduh, pengen saya acak2 mejanya.
si Ms. Y. Tuhan dia itu kasian juga, cuma pahit bgt orangnya. Tolong dia Tuhan.
si Ms. R. Tuhan dia itu tukang gosip, tahu semua masalah orang. Biar saya gak terlalu bnyk terpengaruh ama omongan dia.
Tuhan, tolong Tuhan...saya berbeban beraaaat.
Kalian pikir kalian bisa abuse saya? Nanti kalau saya resign baru tahu rasa yah!
Saya akan tertawa sekeras2nya...
Tuhan berikan saya hikmat untuk handle situasi seperti ini. Saya kalo terus begini bakal balik depresi lagi Tuhan. Saya bisa ngerasain beban berat. Berikan saya telinga yang kebal kata2 dan punya tekad untuk katakan kepada orang lain apa yang memang menjadi tugasnya dan apa yang memang menjadi tugas saya saya kerjakan. Tapi saya berasa seperti budak yang disuruh2 dan gak boleh nolak. Tuhan, aduh si Mr. M pengen saya tonjok, Tuhan! Mentang2 cowok. Mentang2 lebih tua, sok kegantengan lagi!!! Mentang2 manager. Saya gak tahan, Tuhan.
si Mr K. oke sih. Cuma dia itu demanding bgt!!! Aduh, pengen saya acak2 mejanya.
si Ms. Y. Tuhan dia itu kasian juga, cuma pahit bgt orangnya. Tolong dia Tuhan.
si Ms. R. Tuhan dia itu tukang gosip, tahu semua masalah orang. Biar saya gak terlalu bnyk terpengaruh ama omongan dia.
Tuhan, tolong Tuhan...saya berbeban beraaaat.
What is then of Faith?
This is then of faith, that everything, the very least, or what seems to us great, every change of the seasons, everything which touches us in mind, body, or estate, whether brought about through this outward senseless nature, or by the will of man, good or bad, is overruled to each of us by the all-holy and all-loving will of God. Whatever befalls us, we must receive as the will of God. If it befalls us through man's negligence or ill-will or anger, still it is, in even the least circumstance, to us the will of God [italics Elliot]. For if the least thing could happen to us without God's permission, it would be something out of God's control. God's providence or His love would not be what they are. Almighty God Himself would not be the same God; not the God whom we believe, adore, and love.
Mary Wilder Tileston, Daily Strength for Daily Needs.
Mary Wilder Tileston, Daily Strength for Daily Needs.
22 July 2009
Lega dan Sepuluh Ribu Hal Lainnya
LEGA sekali setelah berhasil berbicara dengan Boss. Strugglenya? Mulai dari hari Rabu setelah mendapat tugas yang harus "berbohong" "berpura-pura" atau apalah. Sudah hampir pingsan rasanya. Mungkin saya terlalu sensitif? tapi kalau tahu siapa Boss saya dan bagaimana orangnya, mungkin anda akan sependapat dengan saya.
Terus terang, saya bukan orang yang berani. Saya tidak bisa berbicara jujur sebelumnya seperti ini. Pikirannya selalu ke reaksi Boss dan saya tidak tahan kalau ditertawakan atau dicerca atau verbal abuse lainnya. Saya malah dibuat sering-sering berdoa sungguh-sungguh tentang hal ini. Sungguh, kata penulis favorit saya, Elisabeth Elliot, berdoa itu adalah sebuah tantangan, tindakan yang tidak mudah, semata-mata karena Iblis tidak akan senang karena kita mengakui kelemahan kita dan meminta kekuatan yang nyata-nyata jauh lebih besar dari kuasa Iblis. Iblis akan menggunakan berbagai macam cara dan alasan agar kita tidak berlutut dan meminta pertolongannya. Banyak dari kita termasuk saya terjebak dalam tipu dayanya dan menjadi lemah dan tidak berdaya. Sungguh ironis sebab kita adalah ciptaan baru dan itu berarti kita punya kekuatan dari Tuhan.
Saya bisa bersaksi kalau keberanian untuk berbicara, mengutarakan isi hati kepada si Boss adalah karunia Tuhan. Tanpa kekuatan daripadaNya, saya tidak akan pernah bisa buka mulut. Kamu tahu apa doa saya? Saya cuma bilang...Tuhan jujur, saya tidak bisa. Saya tidak bisa ngomong apa2. Tapi saya tahu ini yang Tuhan mau, saya minta kekuatan untuk bisa maju dan ngomong soal ini. Setiap kali. Tuhan memberikan keyakinan somehow Dia itu akan menyanggupi saya. Bukankah orang berdosa datang kepada Kristus sebab dia tidak sanggup lepas dari dosa dengan kekuatannya sendiri? oleh karena itu menjadi bergantung sepenuhnya pada kekuatan Kristus untuk membebaskan dia dari dosa?
Saya hanya ingin...dapat sungguh2 bersyukur dari lubuk hati saya, biar nama Tuhan yang dipermuliakan, sebab Dia yang memampukan saya dan bukan dari kesanggupan saya sama sekali untuk mengumpulkan segala keberanian. Saya memberikan Dia kesempatan untuk menyatakan kuat kuasaNya dalam hidup saya.
Tuhan terima kasih untuk saudara/i seiman yang Tuhan kirim untuk turut berdoa bersama2 saya esp. Ita, CQ dan P. Yahya. Saya bersyukur :).
Tuhan, ini hal kecil. Biarlah Tuhan pakai untuk menyentuh Boss saya dan mengingatkan dia akan siapa Engkau sesungguhnya. Standar2Mu yang jauh dari standar manusia dan melunakkan hati dia untuk mencari Engkau dengan segenap hatinya.
Sungguh betul kata p. Yahya, jikalau kita telah melihat hal yang indah, kita tidak akan ingin melepaskannya. Tuhan, saya rindu untuk mengalami kuasa mukjizatMu setiap hari. Saya juga diingatkan hari ini, kalau pengampunan yang Engkau berikan pada kita biarlah membuat kita untuk berbuah-buah bagi namaMu dan bukan menjadi sebuah hadiah biasa yang kehilangan harga dan nilainya. PengampunanMu justru harus membuat kita semakin jijik terhadap dosa dan seperti tamparan keras yang membangunkan kita dari segala godaan Iblis untuk kembali ke hidup kami yang lama. Oleh karena itu, pengampunanMu seharusnya semakin menyucikan kita.
Tuhan, hari ini saya belajar untuk tidak mengeluh terhadap orang lain dibelakang mereka. Hanya seorang pengecut yang tidak berani menghadapi orang itu dan memilih untuk berbicara dibelakang mereka. Tuhan, politik kantor sedang gak baik, dan aku agak menyesal tadi sudah menaikkan suara saya. Saya begitu mudah terbawa arus, terpengaruh, biarlah besok dan hari2 berikutnya saya tumbuh semakin kuat, tidak tergoda untuk komplain Mr. M dibelakang dia atau siapa pun. Orang2 Singapura sungguh kiasu dan tidak punya budaya yang sama dengan NZers. Sekali lagi saya merasa mengalami reverse culture shock. NZers itu sangat tidak kiasu, dan mereka tidak malu mengakui kelemah2an mereka. Sesuatu yang saya rasa positif yang orang2 timur harus belajar dari mereka.
Ita, thank you buat Quest for love. WAW. Tuhan itu bekerja banyak dalam hidup anak manusia bahkan dalam hal sepele soal cinta. Tuhan tahu dan menyediakan untuk mereka. Bahkan persoalan cinta itu bisa menjadi alat untuk lebih bertumbuh lagi dalam kasih dan iman kepadaNya. Yang saya suka dari buku ini, ada cerita2 indah bagi orang2 yang berjalan dengan pimpinan Tuhan dan cerita2 sedih bagi yang berjalan mengikuti perasaan dan kemauan sendiri. Susah untuk baca cerita sedih, hanya membuat kita untuk tidak mengulangi mistakes yang sama. Yang Indah betul2 indah, mukjizat. Waktunya tepat, semuanya tepat.
Terus terang, saya bukan orang yang berani. Saya tidak bisa berbicara jujur sebelumnya seperti ini. Pikirannya selalu ke reaksi Boss dan saya tidak tahan kalau ditertawakan atau dicerca atau verbal abuse lainnya. Saya malah dibuat sering-sering berdoa sungguh-sungguh tentang hal ini. Sungguh, kata penulis favorit saya, Elisabeth Elliot, berdoa itu adalah sebuah tantangan, tindakan yang tidak mudah, semata-mata karena Iblis tidak akan senang karena kita mengakui kelemahan kita dan meminta kekuatan yang nyata-nyata jauh lebih besar dari kuasa Iblis. Iblis akan menggunakan berbagai macam cara dan alasan agar kita tidak berlutut dan meminta pertolongannya. Banyak dari kita termasuk saya terjebak dalam tipu dayanya dan menjadi lemah dan tidak berdaya. Sungguh ironis sebab kita adalah ciptaan baru dan itu berarti kita punya kekuatan dari Tuhan.
Saya bisa bersaksi kalau keberanian untuk berbicara, mengutarakan isi hati kepada si Boss adalah karunia Tuhan. Tanpa kekuatan daripadaNya, saya tidak akan pernah bisa buka mulut. Kamu tahu apa doa saya? Saya cuma bilang...Tuhan jujur, saya tidak bisa. Saya tidak bisa ngomong apa2. Tapi saya tahu ini yang Tuhan mau, saya minta kekuatan untuk bisa maju dan ngomong soal ini. Setiap kali. Tuhan memberikan keyakinan somehow Dia itu akan menyanggupi saya. Bukankah orang berdosa datang kepada Kristus sebab dia tidak sanggup lepas dari dosa dengan kekuatannya sendiri? oleh karena itu menjadi bergantung sepenuhnya pada kekuatan Kristus untuk membebaskan dia dari dosa?
Saya hanya ingin...dapat sungguh2 bersyukur dari lubuk hati saya, biar nama Tuhan yang dipermuliakan, sebab Dia yang memampukan saya dan bukan dari kesanggupan saya sama sekali untuk mengumpulkan segala keberanian. Saya memberikan Dia kesempatan untuk menyatakan kuat kuasaNya dalam hidup saya.
Tuhan terima kasih untuk saudara/i seiman yang Tuhan kirim untuk turut berdoa bersama2 saya esp. Ita, CQ dan P. Yahya. Saya bersyukur :).
Tuhan, ini hal kecil. Biarlah Tuhan pakai untuk menyentuh Boss saya dan mengingatkan dia akan siapa Engkau sesungguhnya. Standar2Mu yang jauh dari standar manusia dan melunakkan hati dia untuk mencari Engkau dengan segenap hatinya.
Sungguh betul kata p. Yahya, jikalau kita telah melihat hal yang indah, kita tidak akan ingin melepaskannya. Tuhan, saya rindu untuk mengalami kuasa mukjizatMu setiap hari. Saya juga diingatkan hari ini, kalau pengampunan yang Engkau berikan pada kita biarlah membuat kita untuk berbuah-buah bagi namaMu dan bukan menjadi sebuah hadiah biasa yang kehilangan harga dan nilainya. PengampunanMu justru harus membuat kita semakin jijik terhadap dosa dan seperti tamparan keras yang membangunkan kita dari segala godaan Iblis untuk kembali ke hidup kami yang lama. Oleh karena itu, pengampunanMu seharusnya semakin menyucikan kita.
Tuhan, hari ini saya belajar untuk tidak mengeluh terhadap orang lain dibelakang mereka. Hanya seorang pengecut yang tidak berani menghadapi orang itu dan memilih untuk berbicara dibelakang mereka. Tuhan, politik kantor sedang gak baik, dan aku agak menyesal tadi sudah menaikkan suara saya. Saya begitu mudah terbawa arus, terpengaruh, biarlah besok dan hari2 berikutnya saya tumbuh semakin kuat, tidak tergoda untuk komplain Mr. M dibelakang dia atau siapa pun. Orang2 Singapura sungguh kiasu dan tidak punya budaya yang sama dengan NZers. Sekali lagi saya merasa mengalami reverse culture shock. NZers itu sangat tidak kiasu, dan mereka tidak malu mengakui kelemah2an mereka. Sesuatu yang saya rasa positif yang orang2 timur harus belajar dari mereka.
Ita, thank you buat Quest for love. WAW. Tuhan itu bekerja banyak dalam hidup anak manusia bahkan dalam hal sepele soal cinta. Tuhan tahu dan menyediakan untuk mereka. Bahkan persoalan cinta itu bisa menjadi alat untuk lebih bertumbuh lagi dalam kasih dan iman kepadaNya. Yang saya suka dari buku ini, ada cerita2 indah bagi orang2 yang berjalan dengan pimpinan Tuhan dan cerita2 sedih bagi yang berjalan mengikuti perasaan dan kemauan sendiri. Susah untuk baca cerita sedih, hanya membuat kita untuk tidak mengulangi mistakes yang sama. Yang Indah betul2 indah, mukjizat. Waktunya tepat, semuanya tepat.
Reflection week 19 July 09
Today, Sunday is the start of the week. Last week, I guess I can still face all the things that's going on in the office, still can be thankful with everything. This week I changed so very sudden. Why?
If your Boss asked you to lie, so what? Are you surprised at the wickedness of this generation?
If your Seniors treated you unfair, so what? Are you living in heaven yet?
Wake up! Neither Jesus said that you will face no suffering nor hardship in this life. Life is hard. Harsh reality! But, remember who your God is! He who is sovereign over the world. He who will not spare you of suffering and pain, knowing that you will be purified and come out cleaner than before. He is loving and compassionate Father, yet He is terribly wise and daring to send us into that fire of sanctification. We need it friends. We need it. We need to walk by faith, trusting His plan for us. We need to walk by faith obeying His calling. We need to gaze at the cross once more, meditate upon How great His love for us, not sparing us His one and only Son, not keeping His glory & riches but humbly come down to earth to die the most humiliating death.
He, even He will come down and die for me if I am the only one person left on earth. He, even He is the one who answered the prayer of the saints. How did He answer? Revelation clearly says that when the beast wants to wage war against the Lamb of God...the scripture beautifully says,
"They will make war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will overcome them because he is Lord of Lords and King of Kings and with Him will be His called, chosen and faithful followers." Rev 17:14
The Lamb will overcome them no sweat! and it was also said that His chosen and faithful followers will be with Him!!! no battle fought by the followers, only inheriting status as "winner".
I am grateful God still spoke to me every sundays, fellowships I went. I want to follow you, I want to obey you!!! I want to obey whatever the cost! You just made me want!!! I want to give my all, hoping that I might know Christ all the more. You will only know the truth after you have obeyed it. Obedience is a choice, I noticed I have been relying on my feelings.
God, I served you when I was in Uni? may be. But, I recalled it became a burden and I was reminded today that if I do not serve you and at the same time become your disciple, I will soon find serving boring and draining. Make me your disciple. I don't want to only ask, but I want to do it! I have not been growing God. I have not. You know...
I have not been applying your word and taking risks to obey. That's why I am losing it. That's why I feel drained, relying on my own strength.
I desperately want to grow, want to experience living a life to the full like you have promised.
I want to serve you despite hardship and exhaustion but as long as there is fire flaming in my heart, knowing that I live fulfilling Your Calling, I live at present walking forward with the Almighty. I want I want I want!!! I don't care, I want it desperately! I am not satisfied with my life, my spiritual state now. I want it oh Help!
My earnest desire is captured by this song:
If your Boss asked you to lie, so what? Are you surprised at the wickedness of this generation?
If your Seniors treated you unfair, so what? Are you living in heaven yet?
Wake up! Neither Jesus said that you will face no suffering nor hardship in this life. Life is hard. Harsh reality! But, remember who your God is! He who is sovereign over the world. He who will not spare you of suffering and pain, knowing that you will be purified and come out cleaner than before. He is loving and compassionate Father, yet He is terribly wise and daring to send us into that fire of sanctification. We need it friends. We need it. We need to walk by faith, trusting His plan for us. We need to walk by faith obeying His calling. We need to gaze at the cross once more, meditate upon How great His love for us, not sparing us His one and only Son, not keeping His glory & riches but humbly come down to earth to die the most humiliating death.
He, even He will come down and die for me if I am the only one person left on earth. He, even He is the one who answered the prayer of the saints. How did He answer? Revelation clearly says that when the beast wants to wage war against the Lamb of God...the scripture beautifully says,
"They will make war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will overcome them because he is Lord of Lords and King of Kings and with Him will be His called, chosen and faithful followers." Rev 17:14
The Lamb will overcome them no sweat! and it was also said that His chosen and faithful followers will be with Him!!! no battle fought by the followers, only inheriting status as "winner".
I am grateful God still spoke to me every sundays, fellowships I went. I want to follow you, I want to obey you!!! I want to obey whatever the cost! You just made me want!!! I want to give my all, hoping that I might know Christ all the more. You will only know the truth after you have obeyed it. Obedience is a choice, I noticed I have been relying on my feelings.
God, I served you when I was in Uni? may be. But, I recalled it became a burden and I was reminded today that if I do not serve you and at the same time become your disciple, I will soon find serving boring and draining. Make me your disciple. I don't want to only ask, but I want to do it! I have not been growing God. I have not. You know...
I have not been applying your word and taking risks to obey. That's why I am losing it. That's why I feel drained, relying on my own strength.
I desperately want to grow, want to experience living a life to the full like you have promised.
I want to serve you despite hardship and exhaustion but as long as there is fire flaming in my heart, knowing that I live fulfilling Your Calling, I live at present walking forward with the Almighty. I want I want I want!!! I don't care, I want it desperately! I am not satisfied with my life, my spiritual state now. I want it oh Help!
My earnest desire is captured by this song:
20 July 2009
Heavy
I feel heavy inside. I am really officially stressed out. Is there such a thing? Ubahlah aku Tuhan, kenapa aku begitu kepo. Now I put myself into trouble :(. No wonder people kia su.
I still have not talked to my boss. Mr K presence I dread.. put a healthy fear in me, fear of God and fear of men. Today Mr K is not in. It became harder and harder. Is there really any other way to this? I can't get myself to say anything to him. Stink! I am anxious.
Sorry ya, supossedly Christians should be able to handle stress, and help others. But, I am on the same boat.
My manager is on leave in a situation where his help is needed. He is relax yah...but I was kepo, I helped them and now they want me to do more. I am not doing it. I did my part alright, the rest is my manager's responsibility. Why I am such a softy?? haih, so disappointed with myself.
Not easy ya. My temperament...perfectionist...too helpful and compassionate. People step on me.
If I am not meant to complaint, Lord...please give me guidance and wisdom. I feel helpless with my situation.
Lord, please take care. It's beyond me.
I still have not talked to my boss. Mr K presence I dread.. put a healthy fear in me, fear of God and fear of men. Today Mr K is not in. It became harder and harder. Is there really any other way to this? I can't get myself to say anything to him. Stink! I am anxious.
Sorry ya, supossedly Christians should be able to handle stress, and help others. But, I am on the same boat.
My manager is on leave in a situation where his help is needed. He is relax yah...but I was kepo, I helped them and now they want me to do more. I am not doing it. I did my part alright, the rest is my manager's responsibility. Why I am such a softy?? haih, so disappointed with myself.
Not easy ya. My temperament...perfectionist...too helpful and compassionate. People step on me.
If I am not meant to complaint, Lord...please give me guidance and wisdom. I feel helpless with my situation.
Lord, please take care. It's beyond me.
18 July 2009
Paul's last leg of journey back to Jerusalem
Acts 21
After we had torn ourselves away from them, we put out to sea and sailed straight to Cos. The next day we went to Rhodes and from there to Patara. 2We found a ship crossing over to Phoenicia, went on board and set sail. 3After sighting Cyprus and passing to the south of it, we sailed on to Syria. We landed at Tyre, where our ship was to unload its cargo. 4Finding the disciples there, we stayed with them seven days. Through the Spirit they urged Paul not to go on to Jerusalem. 5But when our time was up, we left and continued on our way. All the disciples and their wives and children accompanied us out of the city, and there on the beach we knelt to pray. 6After saying good-by to each other, we went aboard the ship, and they returned home.
7We continued our voyage from Tyre and landed at Ptolemais, where we greeted the brothers and stayed with them for a day. 8Leaving the next day, we reached Caesarea and stayed at the house of Philip the evangelist, one of the Seven. 9He had four unmarried daughters who prophesied.
10After we had been there a number of days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. 11Coming over to us, he took Paul's belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, "The Holy Spirit says, 'In this way the Jews of Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.' "
12When we heard this, we and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem. 13Then Paul answered, "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus." 14When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, "The Lord's will be done."
15After this, we got ready and went up to Jerusalem. 16Some of the disciples from Caesarea accompanied us and brought us to the home of Mnason, where we were to stay. He was a man from Cyprus and one of the early disciples.
Digging the scripture:
- Trace the map!
- The Holy Spirit says
- Hospitality played
- verse 12, "we" includes the writer of Acts, Luke. He also pleaded Paul not to go. Because of the danger He will face in Jerusalem. Do note Paul's response to them. Imagine, everyone is kinda 'against' his plan to go to Jerusalem...
- Christians homes provided example of hospitality to children and a blessing for the visitors
- The Spirit warns of perils and suffering. Paul's friends out of compassion warned him not to go. Paul insisted to go. Different, opposite interpretation of the Spirit warning.
23I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. 24However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
Mt 16:21-23
21From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.
22Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. "Never, Lord!" he said. "This shall never happen to you!"
23Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."
If I were Paul, would I have reacted the same? I doubted. I prolly heed to my friends advice. too worried of myself. Give me courage, God.To will the Lord's will
Do not be troubled by it. It is only in your emotions, and is not worth a moment's thought. Only see to it that your will is in God's hands, that your inward self is abandoned to His working, that your choice, your decision, is on His side; and there leave it. Your surging emotions, like a tossing vessel at anchor, which by degrees yields to the steady pull of the cable, finding themselves attached to the mighty power of God by the choice of your will, must inevitably come into captivity, and give in their allegiance to Him; and you will sooner or later verify the truth of saying that, "If any man will do His will he shall know of the doctrine"
The Christian's secret of a happy life
(Grand Rapids: Fleming H. Revell, 1916)
The Christian's secret of a happy life
(Grand Rapids: Fleming H. Revell, 1916)
14 July 2009
Feeling like a doormat
The title simply described my feelings at the moment. I don't know...I just feel defeated, can not say "NO", everyone is bugging me, disturbing me, chucking work at me, everyone is playing safe, pushing work to someone else. Got no shame huh?
I am sucks, so easy to get bullied, can not defend myself. God if things are like these, I am really going crazy. I can just foresee black days ahead. Hey Mr M. you are manager. I am your helper NOT your slave. Hey Mr. K, be considerate...I know you are my boss but I am not desperate of a job. I am also human like you, NOT robots. Hey Ms Y, I know you are all expert in IT and I am so dumb, but I tell you at least I do not pretend to know it all.
to Mr. M, if I really feel a lot of work, I am not trying to find excuses. We both have two bosses and receive work from them both. I hope you can understand how I feel having four bosses including you? I believe you know very well when you have so many things to do. I would really appreciate if you at least try to understand my situation. I am sure it is not easy for you to say no when you receive tasks from them, am I right? If you as a manager feel that way, do think it is much easier for an associate? I just hope people are willing to do work, not pushing work. If we all have this kind of mentality, how is this company going to survive?
Trust me, I have done to the best of my ability. I took over your responsibility to prepare SEA data for the Board. I know you are all proud of that, but why I do not feel respected? Why I feel people just chuck work at me? I would appreciate if you would not leave things too late and then drive me nuts or panic. I like to do things early, get it done as fast as I could, so when the deadline coming at least things are going under control. I would appreciate that you know the time I will require to accomplish certain task. Please help me by submitting the task to be done earlier, that would be really great. I was not happy to hear from K, neither K was happy either knowing that you had passed whatever K told you to do to me.
Please do not think of bribing me by treating me lunch. I am sorry but I am not cheap. I accept your kindness because I believe you are sincere, aren't you? no string attached?
To the girls at work, I understand some of you are feeling pushed over the limit as well. But I think we can create a better environment if we cut the complaints, the nagging and help each other. Don't you think?
I see if we are not really working in a team, none...none I tell you...none of us will succeed. None of us are better here. I am here learning as I go, all the things that I have to do seems mountainous. I just feel like I am doing all the manager work myself. If I am to bear that position, it is a different story...anyway, with all my respect, I would say I need time to adjust, I am not being lazy. In fact, I work so hard. I dare not people pay me with me doing nothing, and will have a certain amount of regrets if I fail to do it well. I am young and inexperience but I am not without voice or unlimited. Just like you, I am no superman.
I am losing my joy to help that's all. If you are unable to sympathize, it is fine. I only ask that we all do our part, be responsible not running away.
I am sucks, so easy to get bullied, can not defend myself. God if things are like these, I am really going crazy. I can just foresee black days ahead. Hey Mr M. you are manager. I am your helper NOT your slave. Hey Mr. K, be considerate...I know you are my boss but I am not desperate of a job. I am also human like you, NOT robots. Hey Ms Y, I know you are all expert in IT and I am so dumb, but I tell you at least I do not pretend to know it all.
to Mr. M, if I really feel a lot of work, I am not trying to find excuses. We both have two bosses and receive work from them both. I hope you can understand how I feel having four bosses including you? I believe you know very well when you have so many things to do. I would really appreciate if you at least try to understand my situation. I am sure it is not easy for you to say no when you receive tasks from them, am I right? If you as a manager feel that way, do think it is much easier for an associate? I just hope people are willing to do work, not pushing work. If we all have this kind of mentality, how is this company going to survive?
Trust me, I have done to the best of my ability. I took over your responsibility to prepare SEA data for the Board. I know you are all proud of that, but why I do not feel respected? Why I feel people just chuck work at me? I would appreciate if you would not leave things too late and then drive me nuts or panic. I like to do things early, get it done as fast as I could, so when the deadline coming at least things are going under control. I would appreciate that you know the time I will require to accomplish certain task. Please help me by submitting the task to be done earlier, that would be really great. I was not happy to hear from K, neither K was happy either knowing that you had passed whatever K told you to do to me.
Please do not think of bribing me by treating me lunch. I am sorry but I am not cheap. I accept your kindness because I believe you are sincere, aren't you? no string attached?
To the girls at work, I understand some of you are feeling pushed over the limit as well. But I think we can create a better environment if we cut the complaints, the nagging and help each other. Don't you think?
I see if we are not really working in a team, none...none I tell you...none of us will succeed. None of us are better here. I am here learning as I go, all the things that I have to do seems mountainous. I just feel like I am doing all the manager work myself. If I am to bear that position, it is a different story...anyway, with all my respect, I would say I need time to adjust, I am not being lazy. In fact, I work so hard. I dare not people pay me with me doing nothing, and will have a certain amount of regrets if I fail to do it well. I am young and inexperience but I am not without voice or unlimited. Just like you, I am no superman.
I am losing my joy to help that's all. If you are unable to sympathize, it is fine. I only ask that we all do our part, be responsible not running away.
12 July 2009
Reflection: Jesus is my Idol
If we are taught by God, rebuked by Him, corrected by Him...it is all because of His grace. His grace is so abundant that He will not allow us to walk in the dark, to stay asleep in peace not knowing our road end is leading to death. God is so gracious to wake us up, alert us through suffering and hardship to lead us back on track. Would you desire otherwise?
God forgive us...many times we hate hardship, full of complaints and so totally blinded by our circumstances not knowing the path we took might be wrong in the first place, not realizing our decisions were not pleasing in you sight. God...it is only because of your love for us that you warn us, shake us, tell us, inform us rather than choose to punish us. Truly, your patience to us is great and sorry for not appreciating this.
God thank you that you care enough to teach me so many things these days. I can not 'tahan' myself anymore if I don't write about it.
Today in sermon is about not murdering people. Very often we think of it literally but Jesus actually taught us in a deeper level. Murdering means not being angry easily to one another. Very often I am kind to others but not to my own family. Very often I am actually rude, impatient and critical towards my own family members. How God is going to be pleased with that? How God is going to accept my gifts and my worship? It actually means nothing and become a burden to God. Lord, I need your love, I need to know and experience your love to be able to love others, bear each other in great patience. Forgive me Lord. I want to meditate more on the cross, where you showed me your great love towards mankind. Why I doesn't seem to get it? Why I am not discipline enough to think about it so often? Help me, Lord so that my witness about you will not be tainted by my sinful action.
“To be angry and not sin, one has to be angry at Nothing, but Sin.”
I struggle to pray, I struggle to keep my morning devotion in place, I struggle Lord. Help me so that the devil will not succeed in making me another mock-worthy Christian, walking around saying that I am a christian but my life is not changed.
Another thing that struck me today is your Holiness. Once again, I am reminded that your name is holy and that we should not be careless in our speech, use your name improperly or even being quick to judge others. Jesus died for them as well. Will you regard those God also saved and loved less than our master? Do you think you are any better? It is too easy to judge others...without knowing the reason behind someone does things. It is far too easy to mock than to build each other up. We are not trained to listen, trained to show patience and love...we are so damn sinful. Never ever put your hope in men, even if they are Christians... they will only fail you... just like us. Why? because we are all not there yet. God is different though...is the source of love. If He is not perfectly loving, what hope do we have? What hope does the world have where everyone is selfish and the consequences of sins are inevitable and burdensome? Oh God...we so desperately need you, can not live without you, can not love without you.
Father...you are still my God. I still would like you to be the master of my life. I listened to too many voices but please give me strength to only say yes to you and shut off the rest. Give me strength to keep you as the number one priority, as the master, one, single being worthy of my full devotion. I am walking in the darkness yet I can see glimpses of hope... of truth...
I know... You have the power to protect and care for your children. and I now understand better that You are able, absolutely able to change the bad things that happen to us for our own good. Certainly!!!
Don't allow Lilis to grow older loving money more than You, loving status and the praises of man more than You, loving myself more than You. They are all temporary and quickly passing, does not count for eternity and unworthy to live or dying for. Make my mind fresh and able to discern Your way clearly. Please spare me for your sake. I know You the one who starts the work in me will on Your own bring it to completion. Thank you for the knowledge of Christ, Thank you for saving me, Jesus.
Marshwiggle would rather his feet be burnt and hurt badly than leaving the evil fragrant incense to hypnotize him and his friends. He refuse to accept satan's cheap substitute to Christ and real hope. Make me like Marshwiggle. Daring to stand for the truth, daring to love and less frightened by the possibility of suffering and hardship.
There was one point in my life where I think, I can not give all the credit back to You. When people congratulate me for the success of event organized, shockingly I can not sincerely say that it was because of Your grace alone. It was true, God. Because I made everything, took care everything, worried for everything and I did not allow You to show Your power, to even be in charge. It was me not You. I was puzzled as to how people are able to say it was because of Your grace and power, I keep wondering whether they were just saying it as a cliche, or because it was nice to say, or because it was truly truly Your grace alone that made the event/ministry successful. You have taught me through a book, that all ministry is Your ministry, it does not need human worries, God will open or close the way thus our burden is light. You don't have to sell the truth cheaply by forcing people to accept Him or making them feel guilty. His truth is too powerful, one will give up their ways when Holy Spirit is willing to show them the truth.
My parents are nice and good, but they can be too protective and too worried about us until sometimes I feel choked. I am scared of making my own decisions and I always in need of their approval. I feel dependent on them. My dad is kind and understanding but he can be quite critical. Since I am dependent on their approval, I am going nuts because there are just always things to improve. What I am is never enough. Their 'face' is important. Sadly, that's how I treat others too. I am scared if ever I gave up my faith and compromise. Sigh.
God forgive us...many times we hate hardship, full of complaints and so totally blinded by our circumstances not knowing the path we took might be wrong in the first place, not realizing our decisions were not pleasing in you sight. God...it is only because of your love for us that you warn us, shake us, tell us, inform us rather than choose to punish us. Truly, your patience to us is great and sorry for not appreciating this.
God thank you that you care enough to teach me so many things these days. I can not 'tahan' myself anymore if I don't write about it.
Today in sermon is about not murdering people. Very often we think of it literally but Jesus actually taught us in a deeper level. Murdering means not being angry easily to one another. Very often I am kind to others but not to my own family. Very often I am actually rude, impatient and critical towards my own family members. How God is going to be pleased with that? How God is going to accept my gifts and my worship? It actually means nothing and become a burden to God. Lord, I need your love, I need to know and experience your love to be able to love others, bear each other in great patience. Forgive me Lord. I want to meditate more on the cross, where you showed me your great love towards mankind. Why I doesn't seem to get it? Why I am not discipline enough to think about it so often? Help me, Lord so that my witness about you will not be tainted by my sinful action.
“To be angry and not sin, one has to be angry at Nothing, but Sin.”
I struggle to pray, I struggle to keep my morning devotion in place, I struggle Lord. Help me so that the devil will not succeed in making me another mock-worthy Christian, walking around saying that I am a christian but my life is not changed.
Another thing that struck me today is your Holiness. Once again, I am reminded that your name is holy and that we should not be careless in our speech, use your name improperly or even being quick to judge others. Jesus died for them as well. Will you regard those God also saved and loved less than our master? Do you think you are any better? It is too easy to judge others...without knowing the reason behind someone does things. It is far too easy to mock than to build each other up. We are not trained to listen, trained to show patience and love...we are so damn sinful. Never ever put your hope in men, even if they are Christians... they will only fail you... just like us. Why? because we are all not there yet. God is different though...is the source of love. If He is not perfectly loving, what hope do we have? What hope does the world have where everyone is selfish and the consequences of sins are inevitable and burdensome? Oh God...we so desperately need you, can not live without you, can not love without you.
Father...you are still my God. I still would like you to be the master of my life. I listened to too many voices but please give me strength to only say yes to you and shut off the rest. Give me strength to keep you as the number one priority, as the master, one, single being worthy of my full devotion. I am walking in the darkness yet I can see glimpses of hope... of truth...
I know... You have the power to protect and care for your children. and I now understand better that You are able, absolutely able to change the bad things that happen to us for our own good. Certainly!!!
Don't allow Lilis to grow older loving money more than You, loving status and the praises of man more than You, loving myself more than You. They are all temporary and quickly passing, does not count for eternity and unworthy to live or dying for. Make my mind fresh and able to discern Your way clearly. Please spare me for your sake. I know You the one who starts the work in me will on Your own bring it to completion. Thank you for the knowledge of Christ, Thank you for saving me, Jesus.
Marshwiggle would rather his feet be burnt and hurt badly than leaving the evil fragrant incense to hypnotize him and his friends. He refuse to accept satan's cheap substitute to Christ and real hope. Make me like Marshwiggle. Daring to stand for the truth, daring to love and less frightened by the possibility of suffering and hardship.
There was one point in my life where I think, I can not give all the credit back to You. When people congratulate me for the success of event organized, shockingly I can not sincerely say that it was because of Your grace alone. It was true, God. Because I made everything, took care everything, worried for everything and I did not allow You to show Your power, to even be in charge. It was me not You. I was puzzled as to how people are able to say it was because of Your grace and power, I keep wondering whether they were just saying it as a cliche, or because it was nice to say, or because it was truly truly Your grace alone that made the event/ministry successful. You have taught me through a book, that all ministry is Your ministry, it does not need human worries, God will open or close the way thus our burden is light. You don't have to sell the truth cheaply by forcing people to accept Him or making them feel guilty. His truth is too powerful, one will give up their ways when Holy Spirit is willing to show them the truth.
My parents are nice and good, but they can be too protective and too worried about us until sometimes I feel choked. I am scared of making my own decisions and I always in need of their approval. I feel dependent on them. My dad is kind and understanding but he can be quite critical. Since I am dependent on their approval, I am going nuts because there are just always things to improve. What I am is never enough. Their 'face' is important. Sadly, that's how I treat others too. I am scared if ever I gave up my faith and compromise. Sigh.
11 July 2009
The Real Prosperity Gospel
It is not just those enamored with the prosperity gospel who have pursued health, wealth, and happiness as if they were divine rights and signs of God's blessing. Or who have avoided adversity and poverty as if they were curses. But God's ways are more mysterious than we perceive.
God so governs the universe by his secret providence that while nothing happens apart from God's decree, his hand remains largely hidden from us. What could be more natural than the changing seasons? Yet there remains such unevenness and diversity that every year, month, and day is seen to be governed by a new providence of God.
Church father Basil the Great said that fortune and chance are pagan terms, and ones the godly should not use. But even though all things are ordained by God's plan, for us they seem fortuitous—their order, reason, end, and necessity seem accidental. Yet in our hearts it nonetheless should remain fixed that nothing will take place that the Lord has not previously foreseen.
Nothing will more effectively preserve us in a straight and undeviating course in this economy than a firm persuasion that all events are in the hand of God, and that he is as merciful as he is mighty. This should lead us to gratitude in prosperity, patience in adversity, and a wonderful security respecting the future.
Prone to blame God in adversity and praise ourselves in prosperity, we murmur against God if he does not grant us quiet nests. We imagine that adversity can only come from Satan—as if he were a second god—and thereby fail to recognize that nothing that happens, even when intended by Satan for evil, isn't turned by God to the wider purpose of our salvation. Nothing can thwart God's gracious purposes toward us in Christ. Paul does not say that all things are good, but he does say that God works all things together for good for his people (Rom. 8:28).
Therefore, it is wrong to infer from prosperity that God is favorable toward us, and from suffering that God is angry. For God does not consider in chastening the faithful what they deserve but rather what will be useful to them in the future. He fulfills the office of a physician rather than of a judge. Suffering often brings us to the end of our rope, so we will look to God in Christ for our safety.
We must never forget that there is no tribunal so magnificent, no throne so stately, no show of triumph so distinguished, no chariot so elevated, as is the cross on which Christ has subdued death and the Devil. His whole life was nothing but a kind of perpetual cross. The cross of Christ always contains in itself the victory. But like the disciples at Golgotha, we flee the cross—both Christ's and our own. We imagine that somehow we deserve prosperity. But prosperity often inebriates people, so that they take delight in their own vanities. Instead of leading to gratitude, God's indulgent liberality is abused; prosperity easily becomes its own kind of prison that deprives us of God's greatest gifts.
God's sovereign rule cannot be separated from his saving purpose. The providence of God watches for our salvation, even when it most seems to sleep. Just as we find God in the "low places" of this world—a dirty feeding trough in Bethlehem, weary on the road to Jerusalem, and crying out in dereliction on the cross—we trust that he is most present in our lives precisely where he seems most hidden. It makes a tremendous difference in our lives when we trust that the same God who wounds also heals.
Following our Savior, we endure the cross in this life in order to reign with Christ in glory. God does not call his people to triumph before he has exercised them in the warfare of suffering.
Our salvation and reconciliation to God in Christ is more important than any present happiness. It is far better for the children of God to be blessed, though mutilated and half-destroyed, than to desire that peace in which they shall fall asleep. Our ultimate security and prosperity is found only in Christ and will be fully realized only in glory.
John Calvin
God so governs the universe by his secret providence that while nothing happens apart from God's decree, his hand remains largely hidden from us. What could be more natural than the changing seasons? Yet there remains such unevenness and diversity that every year, month, and day is seen to be governed by a new providence of God.
Church father Basil the Great said that fortune and chance are pagan terms, and ones the godly should not use. But even though all things are ordained by God's plan, for us they seem fortuitous—their order, reason, end, and necessity seem accidental. Yet in our hearts it nonetheless should remain fixed that nothing will take place that the Lord has not previously foreseen.
Nothing will more effectively preserve us in a straight and undeviating course in this economy than a firm persuasion that all events are in the hand of God, and that he is as merciful as he is mighty. This should lead us to gratitude in prosperity, patience in adversity, and a wonderful security respecting the future.
Prone to blame God in adversity and praise ourselves in prosperity, we murmur against God if he does not grant us quiet nests. We imagine that adversity can only come from Satan—as if he were a second god—and thereby fail to recognize that nothing that happens, even when intended by Satan for evil, isn't turned by God to the wider purpose of our salvation. Nothing can thwart God's gracious purposes toward us in Christ. Paul does not say that all things are good, but he does say that God works all things together for good for his people (Rom. 8:28).
Therefore, it is wrong to infer from prosperity that God is favorable toward us, and from suffering that God is angry. For God does not consider in chastening the faithful what they deserve but rather what will be useful to them in the future. He fulfills the office of a physician rather than of a judge. Suffering often brings us to the end of our rope, so we will look to God in Christ for our safety.
We must never forget that there is no tribunal so magnificent, no throne so stately, no show of triumph so distinguished, no chariot so elevated, as is the cross on which Christ has subdued death and the Devil. His whole life was nothing but a kind of perpetual cross. The cross of Christ always contains in itself the victory. But like the disciples at Golgotha, we flee the cross—both Christ's and our own. We imagine that somehow we deserve prosperity. But prosperity often inebriates people, so that they take delight in their own vanities. Instead of leading to gratitude, God's indulgent liberality is abused; prosperity easily becomes its own kind of prison that deprives us of God's greatest gifts.
God's sovereign rule cannot be separated from his saving purpose. The providence of God watches for our salvation, even when it most seems to sleep. Just as we find God in the "low places" of this world—a dirty feeding trough in Bethlehem, weary on the road to Jerusalem, and crying out in dereliction on the cross—we trust that he is most present in our lives precisely where he seems most hidden. It makes a tremendous difference in our lives when we trust that the same God who wounds also heals.
Following our Savior, we endure the cross in this life in order to reign with Christ in glory. God does not call his people to triumph before he has exercised them in the warfare of suffering.
Our salvation and reconciliation to God in Christ is more important than any present happiness. It is far better for the children of God to be blessed, though mutilated and half-destroyed, than to desire that peace in which they shall fall asleep. Our ultimate security and prosperity is found only in Christ and will be fully realized only in glory.
John Calvin
09 July 2009
One Way Jesus
SLC 06 people...remember???
You are the way the truth and the life
We live by faith and not by sight for You...
06 July 2009
How great is our God
tired, exhausted, but our God remains great.
Sing with me....How great is our God...
Missing TSCF
I'm so special, I'm amazing
follow my every call
I will make a pretty big statue
golden and fairly tall
cue the music, bow down to me
or else I'll burn...you all
sing it to the tune "I am sixteen, going on seventeen"
Nick-da-nezz, Nick-da-nezz
fire does not scare us
Hot and white, blazing bright
God is able to save us
and If he doesn't your still real dumb
real dumb and angry
nick-da-nezz, nick-da-nezz
Idols don't take our fancy
sing it to the tune "Edelweiss"
Songs sang at Brotaki's got talent Mid yr TSCF conference "Living the dream" from the book of Daniel. You got talent, people!
follow my every call
I will make a pretty big statue
golden and fairly tall
cue the music, bow down to me
or else I'll burn...you all
sing it to the tune "I am sixteen, going on seventeen"
Nick-da-nezz, Nick-da-nezz
fire does not scare us
Hot and white, blazing bright
God is able to save us
and If he doesn't your still real dumb
real dumb and angry
nick-da-nezz, nick-da-nezz
Idols don't take our fancy
sing it to the tune "Edelweiss"
Songs sang at Brotaki's got talent Mid yr TSCF conference "Living the dream" from the book of Daniel. You got talent, people!
04 July 2009
Amy Carmichael's faith
"It is not difficult to see how this is for the best; it is impossible. But we are asked to walk not by sight but by faith, and only faith can allow us to let Iyer Walker go without bitterness."
wow. Iyer Walker is like a big brother to Amy. He taught Amy to speak Tamil and helped Amy in many ways to be a mother of one hundred Indian girls. His passing was a real shock because Amy will be left alone in the ministry...her other friend also passed away in the same week. Her girls tried to comfort her...yet they acknowledged that it was difficult to see all these are working for her best. The first line of this post was her answer.
One is to be pitied, if not stirred by such answer--
xxx
wow. Iyer Walker is like a big brother to Amy. He taught Amy to speak Tamil and helped Amy in many ways to be a mother of one hundred Indian girls. His passing was a real shock because Amy will be left alone in the ministry...her other friend also passed away in the same week. Her girls tried to comfort her...yet they acknowledged that it was difficult to see all these are working for her best. The first line of this post was her answer.
One is to be pitied, if not stirred by such answer--
xxx
02 July 2009
Too much
I did something that I regretted.
Ugh.
yesterday...
I was so overwhelmed with work...
it seems mountainous
then...
I remember my boss once told me
If I ever feel I have too much...just don't be shy to say it
Yeah...
I told my manager...
through e-mail...
cos he keeps e-mailing me with stuff to do...
while he is out in a conference
there was one thing I felt ridiculous...
one e-mail was asking the address of our company...
I didn't know what was that about...so I e-mailed back saying sorry I wasn't sure where is it to go
He replied me to read the message carefully... I mean He replied that guy that I will tell him the address. I mean...He worked here longer than me at least he must have our address somewhere...and he rather wrote the e-mail to that guy that I will reply him rather than he quickly tell him where our address is.
Sigh
With that same e-mail, I told him I have a lot on my plate to be done until this week ends. just to let him know...I was feeling overwhelmed. He replied to me saying that He can not give work on my convenience...or my free time. I wasn't even asking that. So...I feel kinda stink.
I keep telling myself that it is gonna be alright...but I don't seem to be able to relax.
:(
Ugh.
yesterday...
I was so overwhelmed with work...
it seems mountainous
then...
I remember my boss once told me
If I ever feel I have too much...just don't be shy to say it
Yeah...
I told my manager...
through e-mail...
cos he keeps e-mailing me with stuff to do...
while he is out in a conference
there was one thing I felt ridiculous...
one e-mail was asking the address of our company...
I didn't know what was that about...so I e-mailed back saying sorry I wasn't sure where is it to go
He replied me to read the message carefully... I mean He replied that guy that I will tell him the address. I mean...He worked here longer than me at least he must have our address somewhere...and he rather wrote the e-mail to that guy that I will reply him rather than he quickly tell him where our address is.
Sigh
With that same e-mail, I told him I have a lot on my plate to be done until this week ends. just to let him know...I was feeling overwhelmed. He replied to me saying that He can not give work on my convenience...or my free time. I wasn't even asking that. So...I feel kinda stink.
I keep telling myself that it is gonna be alright...but I don't seem to be able to relax.
:(
Fear God and Fear Nothing Else
The world is shaking with fear. "What will become of us? Where will it all end? What if Russia...? What if cancer...? What if expression...?" The love of God has wrapped us round from before the foundations of the world. If we fear Him--that is, if we are brought to our knees before Him, reverence and worship Him in absolute assurance of his sovereignty, we cannot possibly be afraid of anything else. To love God is to destroy all other fear. To love the world is to be afraid of everything--what it may think of me, what it may do to me, what may happen today or tomorrow for which I am not prepared.
"The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?" (Ps 27:1 RSV).
And yet, Lord, the truth is that I am often afraid. I confess it. All the weight of your promises seems sometimes to be only a feather, and the weight of my fears is lead. Reverse that, Lord, I pray. Give me the healthy fear that will make light of all the others--"The fear of the Lord is life; he who is full of it will rest untouched by evil" (Prv 19:23 NEB).
by EE
Lord...hear my prayer...