Oops did I do the extra mile... I still remember a few
"Oh she is your successor, Mark? she looks young."
"Is this your first job?"
"How long have you been working in marketing?"
Oh be quiet!!!!
Supposed to help you look polished and more sophisticated. hmmm. whatever it is...but I found it quite helpful. PS: I particularly like MUFA Aqua eyes. Never seen such eye pencil, very concentrated.
19 January 2010
Response to Sunday Service 17.01.10
I learnt that if I did not put my thoughts down. I will miss it, I will forget what I want to say, what to response upon the sentences that was heard/read. Just to give you an example, I was going to write about Evangelism Explosion. I reckon it was a great and comprehensive gospel tool to share to the non-believers. But, now I totally forgot why I was so passionate about it. So, a bit of a waste coz I didn't manage to put it down.
What I am about to share now is not EE but some quotes/stories I heard from the pastor on last Sunday.
"You can serve without loving but you can not love without serving
You can give without loving but you can not love without giving
You can sacrifice without loving but you can not love without sacrificing"
My simple prayer to God was...
"no more serving without loving
neither giving without loving
sacrifice without loving, I want no more, not anymore..."
"Your generosity is the acid test of your spirituality"
I have failed the acid test. My spirituality was a bit shallow.
Some stories from the land of Africa really touched me:
A woman from Congo, she is crippled both legs, yet because she so desires to listen to the word of God, she would crawl to the place of meeting even though it was miles away. Moved by her condition, a missionary greeted her when she arrived. The missionary noticed her pain and all bothers while she made her way and asked the reason she would bear so much pain from crawling. She said Jesus loves her so, pain means nothing to her if she could listen to His words.
One more story
When the time of the offering comes, because people in Africa are majority poor, they can only afford giving vegetables and the fruits of the land. One small girl came up to also give an offering.
She put a silver coin on the table. After the service, a missionary approached her to ask how she could have such fortune, thinking she was too young and might steal. The girl smilingly replied
"I went to the plantery next door and I sold myself as a slave for the rest of my life to obtain this silver coin. I want to give to Jesus a sacrifice that represents my heart."
Wow..would I do that for Jesus?
What I am about to share now is not EE but some quotes/stories I heard from the pastor on last Sunday.
"You can serve without loving but you can not love without serving
You can give without loving but you can not love without giving
You can sacrifice without loving but you can not love without sacrificing"
My simple prayer to God was...
"no more serving without loving
neither giving without loving
sacrifice without loving, I want no more, not anymore..."
"Your generosity is the acid test of your spirituality"
I have failed the acid test. My spirituality was a bit shallow.
Some stories from the land of Africa really touched me:
A woman from Congo, she is crippled both legs, yet because she so desires to listen to the word of God, she would crawl to the place of meeting even though it was miles away. Moved by her condition, a missionary greeted her when she arrived. The missionary noticed her pain and all bothers while she made her way and asked the reason she would bear so much pain from crawling. She said Jesus loves her so, pain means nothing to her if she could listen to His words.
One more story
When the time of the offering comes, because people in Africa are majority poor, they can only afford giving vegetables and the fruits of the land. One small girl came up to also give an offering.
She put a silver coin on the table. After the service, a missionary approached her to ask how she could have such fortune, thinking she was too young and might steal. The girl smilingly replied
"I went to the plantery next door and I sold myself as a slave for the rest of my life to obtain this silver coin. I want to give to Jesus a sacrifice that represents my heart."
Wow..would I do that for Jesus?
18 January 2010
Bits of life in 2010
I need to gather myself up for this!!! I realized after I left my University I had become very lazy, seriously. I was way more productive when I was at Uni but I think Life wise could have been better. Imagine, I was living in a beautiful country, New Zealand...yet I did not feel rested. Over five years, I had been on the go and I should have taken rest. Anyway, regrets always come after.
Never mind! start again! I finally gained 7 months work experience here in Singapore. Still though, I wish it could have been 1 year at least. I had tried my max. I think this is just a jump start for me to upscale to a better job. Working here has been a reverse culture shock. The people, the fast pace, the work culture... everything! (even church) was new. I had made myself comfortable with the western way of dealing with people and things, at least it was like that in NZ. But, you know, God knows it. It was not easy to get into my first job. I struggled through and God was with me. Despite, the down side of things I still managed to travel a bit around Asia which served as an eye-opener. I wish...I really wish I got more time, more time to mend my work in the previous job and probably things wouldn't have turned so bad. I wish I was tough and not overtly sensitive towards the opinions of others. I wish I was able to achieve goals and responsibilities given to me. But, it is all over.
I still want to start again. But, I would like to approach work with new ways. Lord, I need to upskill. I need to work up my people skills. I need to be a bit more disciplined and do my best. I am sorry I have been lazy. I still somehow wish I could stand my old boss a bit more. Yet, decision needs to be made and as for now I can only leave it at the Lord's hands. Whatever He brings me, I will apply for work and scholarships again. Let He opened the way.
I now learn to always give my best in everything that I do and leave the rest to God. It sounds so cliche but it is very difficult to do. But, I know in the end, for all matters, we need to trust God. God is at my corner, watching over me, supporting me. He accepts me and forgives all my sins. You know, the key to freedom is here with me. I need not despair any longer.
I have been living in much fear for the last two years. All sorts of fear. I have let Satan to beat me up with despair. Today, he shall do that to me no more. no more. God will take care of me. Surely. Surely. Christians must live faith not by sight. So, I must continue living by faith.
With Him no fear.
6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
(Joshua 1)
"Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."
(Psalm 34:8)
"28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
(Rm 8:28)
"37 their hearts were not loyal to him,
they were not faithful to his covenant.
Never mind! start again! I finally gained 7 months work experience here in Singapore. Still though, I wish it could have been 1 year at least. I had tried my max. I think this is just a jump start for me to upscale to a better job. Working here has been a reverse culture shock. The people, the fast pace, the work culture... everything! (even church) was new. I had made myself comfortable with the western way of dealing with people and things, at least it was like that in NZ. But, you know, God knows it. It was not easy to get into my first job. I struggled through and God was with me. Despite, the down side of things I still managed to travel a bit around Asia which served as an eye-opener. I wish...I really wish I got more time, more time to mend my work in the previous job and probably things wouldn't have turned so bad. I wish I was tough and not overtly sensitive towards the opinions of others. I wish I was able to achieve goals and responsibilities given to me. But, it is all over.
I still want to start again. But, I would like to approach work with new ways. Lord, I need to upskill. I need to work up my people skills. I need to be a bit more disciplined and do my best. I am sorry I have been lazy. I still somehow wish I could stand my old boss a bit more. Yet, decision needs to be made and as for now I can only leave it at the Lord's hands. Whatever He brings me, I will apply for work and scholarships again. Let He opened the way.
I now learn to always give my best in everything that I do and leave the rest to God. It sounds so cliche but it is very difficult to do. But, I know in the end, for all matters, we need to trust God. God is at my corner, watching over me, supporting me. He accepts me and forgives all my sins. You know, the key to freedom is here with me. I need not despair any longer.
I have been living in much fear for the last two years. All sorts of fear. I have let Satan to beat me up with despair. Today, he shall do that to me no more. no more. God will take care of me. Surely. Surely. Christians must live faith not by sight. So, I must continue living by faith.
With Him no fear.
6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
(Joshua 1)
"Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."
(Psalm 34:8)
"28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
(Rm 8:28)
"37 their hearts were not loyal to him,
they were not faithful to his covenant.
38 Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities
and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger
and did not stir up his full wrath.
39 He remembered that they were but flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return."
(Ps 78:37-39)
21 "When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
(Ps 73: 21-26)
15 January 2010
The Mercy of God
Everytime I read Tozer's writing on the subject of Attributes of God, it always moves me to bow down to God literally. Today, I am reading on the mercy of God, one attribute of God that I most have problem with, not that it is God's problem that He did not show enough mercy but I realize that it was my own problem. Unbelief, doubts prevent me to enjoy the feast that is prepared for me. He said, Come to the throne of grace...but I was too scared and too stubborn to believe that He will receive me.
Forgive me, Lord for my stubborness. Sincerely, please forgive me.
I want to shake off unbelief and my wavering faith, for lack of trust in the Almighty God never comes from the heaven above but the works of Father of lies.
Continue to open my eyes to see everyday O Lord. To leave the life of sin and embrace eternal life You gave us.
"We must believe that God's mercy is boundless, free and, through Jesus Christ our Lord, available to us now in our present situation."
" [we may live in unbelief and alltogether miss the acceptance and love of God] or we may, if we will, lay hold on the mercy of God by faith, enter the hall and sit down with bold and avid souls who wil not allow diffidence and unbelief to keep them from the feast of fat things prepared for them."
The Knowledge of the Holy by A. W. Tozer
Forgive me, Lord for my stubborness. Sincerely, please forgive me.
I want to shake off unbelief and my wavering faith, for lack of trust in the Almighty God never comes from the heaven above but the works of Father of lies.
Continue to open my eyes to see everyday O Lord. To leave the life of sin and embrace eternal life You gave us.
"We must believe that God's mercy is boundless, free and, through Jesus Christ our Lord, available to us now in our present situation."
" [we may live in unbelief and alltogether miss the acceptance and love of God] or we may, if we will, lay hold on the mercy of God by faith, enter the hall and sit down with bold and avid souls who wil not allow diffidence and unbelief to keep them from the feast of fat things prepared for them."
The Knowledge of the Holy by A. W. Tozer
13 January 2010
The Cloud
The Cloud
I thought the way upon the mountain side
Would lead to certain clearness; but my Guide,
Whose thought was otherwise,
Led to a cloud that blotted out the skies
I feared to enter into that great cloud,
And fearing, cried aloud,
"O patient Guide, I fear;
Be not far from me now, with trouble near."
"Let not Thy heart be troubled. Could I cease to care for Thee?
Can vapors cancel my peace, My gift of peace?
O rest in Me.
I wait to meet Thee in that cloudy place
And in that cloud Thou shalt behold My face."
By Amy Carmichael
Part I Response to "The Cloud"
No, no Lord. You will not cease to care for me
Lord, No. Vapors can not cancel Thy gift to free
Help, Help, Lord! my eyes were darkened to see!
I am guilty with the sin of doubting Thee
Wash me clean O Lord,
Help my troubled heart
Strengthen me O Lord,
Flee away devil darts!
Lord, Your only word is all I need
and my crippling fear will take speed,
though my faith is the size of mustard seed
when Christ commands, all bow and follow lead
Part II
Rest in Me
Thou, rest in Me
Fear not, rest in Me
Rest in My sovereignty
Rest in My immutability
Rest in My love
Rest in My grace for you...
Part III
I will wait for you there, in the clouds
I shalt behold Thy face, my Lord!
O Thou, strong refuge and ever present help!
I thought the way upon the mountain side
Would lead to certain clearness; but my Guide,
Whose thought was otherwise,
Led to a cloud that blotted out the skies
I feared to enter into that great cloud,
And fearing, cried aloud,
"O patient Guide, I fear;
Be not far from me now, with trouble near."
"Let not Thy heart be troubled. Could I cease to care for Thee?
Can vapors cancel my peace, My gift of peace?
O rest in Me.
I wait to meet Thee in that cloudy place
And in that cloud Thou shalt behold My face."
By Amy Carmichael
Part I Response to "The Cloud"
No, no Lord. You will not cease to care for me
Lord, No. Vapors can not cancel Thy gift to free
Help, Help, Lord! my eyes were darkened to see!
I am guilty with the sin of doubting Thee
Wash me clean O Lord,
Help my troubled heart
Strengthen me O Lord,
Flee away devil darts!
Lord, Your only word is all I need
and my crippling fear will take speed,
though my faith is the size of mustard seed
when Christ commands, all bow and follow lead
Part II
Rest in Me
Thou, rest in Me
Fear not, rest in Me
Rest in My sovereignty
Rest in My immutability
Rest in My love
Rest in My grace for you...
Part III
I will wait for you there, in the clouds
I shalt behold Thy face, my Lord!
O Thou, strong refuge and ever present help!
12 January 2010
It's the Wonder Craze...
I was browsing...randomly and came across these videos...wah didn't know they are so famous around the world.
"Nobody rendition"
"For Trisha, mending the relationship..."
"Ukulele version...nobody is loved over in Northern Ireland"
"Nobody rendition"
"For Trisha, mending the relationship..."
"Ukulele version...nobody is loved over in Northern Ireland"
11 January 2010
Anjells
Pretty good Fan Made Video...although the person put the kissing part a bit longer...might be a bit disturbing but the rest they have good quality photos of the group which is great!! enjoy.
09 January 2010
You're Beautiful/You're Handsome (A.N.JELL)
Showbiz of A.N.JELL
"Promise" by A.N.JELL (I like this song!)
"Lovely Day" (Favorite!! a happy song :) )
"My heart is calling" (so mellow...but a nice song!)
"Still/As ever" by A.N.JELL
"Without Words" (piano version...which I like better than sung...otherwise it can be too melancholic and sad...haha)
Ahhh I like the drama...TWO THUMBS UP!!! What to cure my addiction? Korean drama sure something... JAng Geun Suk & Park Sin Hye perfect chemistry! Salute!
A.N.JELL
When I was unwell, a good friend of mine cared enough to introduce me this Korean Drama. Her choice is always right. As a result, I have been crazy over this drama for the whole week. Tonight, I am officially watched this drama twice already. This drama is sort of similar to Boys Over Flowers, as intoxicating it was...love story do warm your heart. I was comforted after being sick for a week and couldn't get my mind of work. This drama too has made the time went fast yesterday, right after I terminated my first job in Singapore. I was quite scared and upset, especially I didn't end it well. I lied to my boss and He in the end discovered it. Much to my regret of doing it. It was unnecessary. But, I had done it. So, I was really feeling bad about it, but watching this drama takes my mind off what I did, takes my tiredness and depression away at least for a while...
I would say the scriptwriter is pretty genius! I was really entertained and the drama seems to provide sort of a fresh wind to teeny boppy sort of drama. Hail korean drama! So far, I've only addicted to Korean dramas never Japanese or from local Indonesian movie. The actor and actresses did very well even the "not main stars"...made me wants to be involved in a play/drama. As previous korean drama I watched, I fell in love with the main actor...oh my Jang Geun Suk, you are so damn CUTE. Shin woo and Jeremy were cute too but sorry my heart and eyes only fell to "Tae Kyung". (Shin Woo is romantic. Jeremy is brave and happy-go-lucky)
His eyebrows, his wicked smiles, his hugging the pig-rabbit, his excitement over finding that go Mi Nam really really likes him...His sensitivity to Mi Nam's feelings...eventhough he was self-centred and easily angry...He finally come to his senses...so I like him!! Chukae Tae Kyung!
I really like your acting! Big Well Done!!
One thing that I discovered from this movie, at least one good thing for myself is that a person may be pretty/handsome on the outside but if they are evil on the inside...people pretty much overlooked what is good on the outside. So whether you are beautiful outwardly or not, stay beautiful on the inside...it will always win.
Though I have not much luck in love, this movie does somehow represents universal human needs...love. Yea, besides food and shelter...people need love.
Anyhow, this movie is indeed enjoyable and would agree with Anne that it is more amazing than BBF.
I have enjoyed the sides character such as: Manager Ma (He's really a dreamer! full of imaginations and fun), Coordi Wang (good make-up and partner to manager Ma), Reporter Kim (I must say I got really annoyed with you! but that means you did well), Yoo He Yi (I really hate you, fake fairy!!!), President Ahn (quite kind, understanding and full of spirit)
Pleasant retreat...
Kumawo everyone!
02 January 2010
Song Bites
Lord...I don't know where all this is going
Lead me to peace that surpass understanding
a peace beyond all doubts...
Lord, I don't know by Newsboys
Kekuatan di hidupku...
Kudapat dalam Yesus...
Dia tak pernah tinggalkanku...
Setia menopangku...
Berseru, Berharap dalam Yesus...
Ajaib Kau Tuhan, penuh kuasa
Sanggup pulihkan keadaanku
dalam tanganMu sluruh hidupku
tak akan goyah selamaNya...
Dalam Yesus by Sari Simorangkir
Lead me to peace that surpass understanding
a peace beyond all doubts...
Lord, I don't know by Newsboys
Kekuatan di hidupku...
Kudapat dalam Yesus...
Dia tak pernah tinggalkanku...
Setia menopangku...
Berseru, Berharap dalam Yesus...
Ajaib Kau Tuhan, penuh kuasa
Sanggup pulihkan keadaanku
dalam tanganMu sluruh hidupku
tak akan goyah selamaNya...
Dalam Yesus by Sari Simorangkir
Updates
I have not been blogging for ages. Everytime I attempted to write, I can not finish or I messed it up. Sigh. But, I would like to give you a bit of summary of my life these days.
Flu Ayam
I associated my flu with chicken because I intended one morning to shoot a cock because he was so noisy in the morning. Coming back from Batam, I got really sick until I didn't go to office for two days. Thus, flu ayam. It forced me to leave everything that I want to do...reading, blogging and the like and just lie in bed.
New Year
My Job
I would say I passed the new year with much uncertainties especially with my job. I am quite scared really... many of you have heard about my job and encouraged me to keep going. I am really contemplating resignation. I missed product development and lab work. I really missed it... I really missed my previous job... I really missed new zealand... I really missed my university... T.T
New Year Resolution
I only wish to trust God more. I only wish to obey Him abit more. I only wish to please Him.
I think I have become lazier and lazier after I left University...it has been 2 years. Quite sad having no achievement no job satisfaction but thinking of resignation with the boss like that, with being bullied at work, with taking care of sales figures and becoming inconfident...I feel quite sad about this. T.T
Pak Jahja & Bu Jung2 farewell
A much loved pastor and wife...they have allowed themselves to be a blessing. They taught me lesson on serving God. Living up the book "On Being the Servant of God". Pak Jahja's warmth and humility really hits me, really makes me to kneel down and beg God to change me and not let me go. Really makes me want to follow such examples...Really force me to see that God is indeed good and forever He will be. Every words spoken came from the bottom of their heart, truly I pray for many blessings being poured out in their life and God to use them so mightily in Bandung and many genuine revival happened. Oh Holy Spirit please always hear their prayers. Please change us too!
Gusdur breathed his last breath
I have a lot of respect for this man. His sharpness and daring to critize the government, solutions offered, his stand not to join the extremist, his intention to embrace all the races and cultures in Indonesia for its own unity, his sense of humours, really Thank God for Gusdur!
Batam Trip
a Lady, Margaret Tjakra, only known as a translator in our church, is actually an unsung hero in Batam and am sure in her family and surroundings. Ibu Margaret is tough, daring and talented. She knows almost from corner to corner in Batam as She took the development project of Batam when it was still 'virgin' island. She got no background as developer, she is a doctor but did not finish her course. Went to Germany for medical studies, she helped nursing the mentally ill to earn money for life support. Later on, she involved in the cosmetic industry but then she also manages building properties. Truly, we must catch the same spirit. Once she got vision she will not give it up but daring to carry out. Much of this push was also from mr. B. J. H. (ex president of Indo). Later on the trip, she showed us the Coloseum, she told us the area was heaped by old unused metals (for 10 yrs) so that noone can use it. The area was previously used as a campaign area, to gather mass of people for free and was beginning to cause a lot of chaos thus the deliberate closing. She said all the successes never come cheap, they all must be paid by a lot of tears and hardwork. Even her family ever left her alone during her most difficult time. Thank God, He brought her thru...I think she is veyr cool!
Anyway, gotta go back to work.
Flu Ayam
I associated my flu with chicken because I intended one morning to shoot a cock because he was so noisy in the morning. Coming back from Batam, I got really sick until I didn't go to office for two days. Thus, flu ayam. It forced me to leave everything that I want to do...reading, blogging and the like and just lie in bed.
New Year
My Job
I would say I passed the new year with much uncertainties especially with my job. I am quite scared really... many of you have heard about my job and encouraged me to keep going. I am really contemplating resignation. I missed product development and lab work. I really missed it... I really missed my previous job... I really missed new zealand... I really missed my university... T.T
New Year Resolution
I only wish to trust God more. I only wish to obey Him abit more. I only wish to please Him.
I think I have become lazier and lazier after I left University...it has been 2 years. Quite sad having no achievement no job satisfaction but thinking of resignation with the boss like that, with being bullied at work, with taking care of sales figures and becoming inconfident...I feel quite sad about this. T.T
Pak Jahja & Bu Jung2 farewell
A much loved pastor and wife...they have allowed themselves to be a blessing. They taught me lesson on serving God. Living up the book "On Being the Servant of God". Pak Jahja's warmth and humility really hits me, really makes me to kneel down and beg God to change me and not let me go. Really makes me want to follow such examples...Really force me to see that God is indeed good and forever He will be. Every words spoken came from the bottom of their heart, truly I pray for many blessings being poured out in their life and God to use them so mightily in Bandung and many genuine revival happened. Oh Holy Spirit please always hear their prayers. Please change us too!
Gusdur breathed his last breath
I have a lot of respect for this man. His sharpness and daring to critize the government, solutions offered, his stand not to join the extremist, his intention to embrace all the races and cultures in Indonesia for its own unity, his sense of humours, really Thank God for Gusdur!
Batam Trip
a Lady, Margaret Tjakra, only known as a translator in our church, is actually an unsung hero in Batam and am sure in her family and surroundings. Ibu Margaret is tough, daring and talented. She knows almost from corner to corner in Batam as She took the development project of Batam when it was still 'virgin' island. She got no background as developer, she is a doctor but did not finish her course. Went to Germany for medical studies, she helped nursing the mentally ill to earn money for life support. Later on, she involved in the cosmetic industry but then she also manages building properties. Truly, we must catch the same spirit. Once she got vision she will not give it up but daring to carry out. Much of this push was also from mr. B. J. H. (ex president of Indo). Later on the trip, she showed us the Coloseum, she told us the area was heaped by old unused metals (for 10 yrs) so that noone can use it. The area was previously used as a campaign area, to gather mass of people for free and was beginning to cause a lot of chaos thus the deliberate closing. She said all the successes never come cheap, they all must be paid by a lot of tears and hardwork. Even her family ever left her alone during her most difficult time. Thank God, He brought her thru...I think she is veyr cool!
Anyway, gotta go back to work.