Christmas Eve thinking about...

"You must get alone with Jesus and either decide to tell Him that you do not want sin to die out in you , or that at any cost you want to be identified with His death"

Sharing

Udah lama gua gak ngeblog. Udah lama pengen nulis. Tadi bersyukur bisa ikut ke persekutuan doa. Udah lama gak ke PD rasanya teh kagak enak. Gua jujur dulu merasa keberatan ke PD tapi sekarang kok rasanya beda, rasanya kepengennn ke PD, kepengeeennn seperti Maria. Tambah sibuk jadi gak punya waktu buat berpikir banyak.

Anyway, tadi gua sempet nangkep sedikit mengenai tema tadi. Petrus si sanguin yang gagal trus bangkit lagi memang menjadi pelajaran buat gua, untuk gak cepat putus asa, gakj tinggal dalam kegagalan tapi bangkit terus bersama YEsus. Yess, saya mau bangkit karena bersama Yesus pasti ada jalan keluar.

Gua renungan pake my utmostny Oswald chambers juga banyak membuat gua berpikir tentang decision in life. Renungannya banyak challenge gua deh.

"His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. God is not working towards a particular finish, His purpose is the process itself."

"But if He desires knowledge and insights into the teachings of Jesus Christ, He can only obtain it through obedience."

"Even at the risk of being thought as fanatical, you must obey what God tells you."

""I will never leave you..."---not for any reason, not my sin, selfishness, stubborness, nor waywardness."

"our personal property are to be a matter of indifference to us, and our hold on these things should be very loose. If this is not the case, we will have panic, heartache, and distress. Having the proper outlook is evidence of the deeply rooted belief in the overshadowing of God's personal deliverance"

"My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace. Nor even blessings but Himself, my God"

very explainable quote. doakanlah...lagi bingung apakah gua berjalan di sekuler atau harus banting setir. pun kalo banting setir, darimanakah courage yang kudapat? apa yang harus gua lakuin, gua butuh fokus. hehehe. anyway, meanwhile, all the process/tests that God wants me to pass, let me glorify Him in everything I do. Let me have a clear vision. Let me go through what I must go through, grow in grace, learn and be mature through all circumstances.

All in all recognising God, knowing Him and enjoying Him forever :). That is complete satisfaction.

My dear Jesus

I am learning again to trust God. To let Him speak to me what He wants to say to me. When He said I will never leave you nor forsake you, I realize I had not given His words the chance. Let me gather up my courage. I want to trust You more God. Again. I want to remember why You died for me, why Christianity is such a sweet news for me.

No fear of tomorrow.

No fear of men.

No fear.

Because God is near.

Oh dear Jesus...continue to be dear to me...

dearer than Louis Vuitton...Gucci or Chanel

dearer than Maserati...Mercedez or BMW

dearer than Mont Blanc...

dearer than Tiffany & Co...

Oh dear Jesus...continue to be my guide...

continue to be the master of life...

continue to determine my way of life...

continue to enable me to love...

continue to enable me to forgive...

continue to enable me to love the lost souls...

continue to be so real to me...

continue to reveal your glory in me...

continue to be my reason for living...

continue to be my strength, my courage, my great comfort...my strong refuge...

lest this soul perish forever

Speak to me once again...I want to take it in...hold it tight...live it out...once again...

thank you for always giving me the chance...

Life is TREMENDOUS!

I think it is! :D

A few nice quotes from this book:

A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the right man's brow.

God never made the job that could make a man but any man who can get excited about his work can make a job.

No one is a failure until he blames someone elses.

Without loyalty nothing can be accomplished in any sphere. The person who renders loyal service in a humble capacity will be chosen for higher responsibilities, just as the biblical servant who multiplied the one pound given him by his master was made ruler over ten cities, whereas the servant who did not put his pound to use lost that which he had. B.C. Forbes

Leadership is learning to give whether you get anything or not!

No humility without humiliations!

Life isn't to be happy. It is to be growing.

No man can fight his way to the top and stay at the top without exercising the fullest measure of grit, courage, determination, resolution. Every man who gets anywhere does so because he has firmly resolved to progress in the world and then has enough stick-to-it-tiveness to transform his resolution into reality. Without resolution, no man can win any worthwhile place among his fellow men B.C.Forbes

Love does not make you weak, because it is the source of all strength , but it makes you see the nothingness of the illusory strength on which you depended before you knew it. Leon Bloy

"I've been learning that a job is something God gives to me and says that I'm to walk worthy of the vocation wherewith I have been called, that I am to begin learning to do everything I can with all my heart"

The success of a person in business or in any other endeavor is never determined by aptitude, by the boss or by friends. Success is achieved through making a decision, making it yours and dying by it!! C. Jones

No job ever made a man but a rught man can make any job.

Don't spend your life trying to make right decisions; invest your life in making decisions and making them right.

Dear Lord, My heart shall not faint!

My dear heart,

Trust! trust the Almighty

From of old it has always been said

to put on the shield of faith

Thy days and Thy night

 

Never Ever be moved

By words of any men

For Thou art my child

Listen only to My Voice

 

The words I gave you

art not idle words

They are Thy life,

Thy guide to Me

 

Thou must heed

Regardless what it might cause

Thou must hold

For Thou art to stand bold

 

Trust, Trust though Thy might not see

Trust, Trust Me! I will never leave Thee

PD Rebo + Renungan on Biography of Saints

PD Rebo Kemaren gua share ttg pergumulan gua mencari pekerjaan di Singapore. Akhirnya, gua merasa mendapatkan sesuatu yang bermutu. Tapi mungkin karena Iblis ya, gua beberapa hari ini jatuh ke dalam keragu2an. Meragu2kan apakah gua bakalan bisa stay long, gua gak males2an, gak mungkir dari pekerjaan, gak cepet give up. Gua penuh dengan harap cemas. Gua gak tahu apakah colleagues gua bakalan baek seperti boss gua, gua bahkan meragu2kan apakah boss gua cuma mengada-ngada, mengarang-ngarang terhadap prinsip2 dia dsb. Intinya, gua takut ketipu.

 

Ya Tuhan, aku sungguh berdosa meragukan kebaikan dan cinta kasih Tuhan. Tuhan ingetin hari ini untuk jangan liat pada diri sendiri tapi untuk fokus pada Kristus yang mampu accomplish any good things in my life. Tuhan yang memimpin aku, Tuhan lah yang akan memampukan aku. Tuhan terima kasih ya, kalau Engkau mau menunjukkan kasih, anugrah dan kemurahanMu sekaligus lewat pekerjaan ini. Biarlah aku mengenal Engkau dan mencintai Engkau lebih dalam lagi. Di PR Rebo, si pak Gideon ngingetin untuk melayani karena kasih dan karena hak bukan karena duty. Biarlah Engkau yang menambahkan kasih itu sendiri dalam hidup saya, sebab kalau saya put on the “manufacturing” mentality, saya pasti akan jatuh lagi Tuhan dalam legalisme dan kungkuk hukum (The burden of the law). Tuhan, jauhkan saya dari itu semua, biarlah aku sungguh2 mengenal siapa Kristus itu dan hidup di dalam Dia. Sungguh2 mengalami Engkau sebagai Bapa di sorga, sungguh2 menjadi saksi Tuhan yang hidup, yang mengalami Engkau sendiri bukannya mengada-ngada atau karangan cerita. Tuhan, aku juga cemas karena pekerjaan sales itu waktunya cukup flexible dan mungkin harus menghadiri banyak entertainment dinners dsb yang aku takut membuat aku bolos PD. Berikan aku hikmat dan tekad untuk mengasihi Tuhan dan kerendahan hati untuk berdoa. Saya takut pekerjaan ini akan menjauhkan saya dari Tuhan. Saya takut travelling time dari bukit batok ke bedok akan melelahkan saya. Saya takut Tuhan! kalau pekerjaan ini akan curi sukacita ini.

Biarlah mata saya tetap tertuju padaMu. Pada kemurahanMu, untuk senantiasa dekat denganMu. Aku gak akan bisa hidup tanpamu, yesus. Mau harta sebanyak apapun, Mau posisi setinggi apapun, Mau setenar siapapun, tidak ada, tidak ada yang dapat dan yang boleh menggantikan Engkau sebagai Tuhan dan Juruselamatku. Sebab tujuan hidup saya tidak ada lagi selain buat Kristus, selain hidup menuruti kehendak2Nya, selain beriman penuh kepadaNya. Dia adalah sumber kasih itu dan kebenaran. Dia adalah mata air yang tidak pernah surut. Dia adalah pengharapan saya dan hidup saya. Hidup saya tidak berarti apa2 tanpa Kristus. Tolong Tuhannnn jangan sampe!!! Jangan sampe aku jauh dariMu!!! mendingan gua masuk sekolah teologi Tuhannnn kalo sampe gua jauh. mendingan gua kehilangan kerjaan ini sekalipun gua bakal ditentang habis2an dari ortu. 

 

Renungan beberapa saints:

Amy Carmichael

saya mengagumi Amy karena dia bersikeras untuk tidak follow human direction, human agenda bahkan dalam mission field. Hatinya khusus buat Tuhan, buat rencana Tuhan, agenda Tuhan, jadinya kalaupun dia menerima dana missionary dan tidak memenuhi proyek yang diproposed, dia tidak mundur dan kecil hati. Dia gak berusaha merubah2 tapi hatinya taat. Katanya pegangan atau iman dia terhadap ayat2 alkitab cenderung superstitious. Tapi Tuhan accomplished much of His purpose on earth through her as she was sensitive to the leading of the Spirit. Terkadang kita tidak boleh bergantung terlalu banyak sama apa yang kita tahu, sama doktrin yang dengan teguh kita pegang. Memang doktrin membawa kita pada iman dan kepercayaan yang benar tapi terkadang iman kita terlalu kecil buat Tuhan. Tuhan kita terlalu kecil, lemah, tidak berkuasa dan tidak sanggup.

Alexander Maclaren

Saya mengagumi preacher ini karena dia nyiapin satu khotbah bisa 60 jam belajar. Dia tekun belajar dan punya disiplin tinggi. He knows how to say no. He did not feel obliged to attend every meeting, sit at every table or sit at every platform. Dia seorang perfeksionis dan idealis dan dia selalu tidak puas akan pekerjaannya. Tapi itulah yang tetap membuat dia rendah hati di hadapan Tuhan. Saya merasa punya keidentikkan dengan Dr. Maclaren karena saya seorang perfeksionis. Tapi tentu saja, saya itu bukan siapa2, saya bukan spiritual giant seperti dia, jauh bgt. Tapi saya punya aspirasi yang sama dan ingin meneladani dia especially in learning how to say no dan mengalami apa itu yang namanya anugrah. Saya merasa Tuhan mendengar doa saya, dan banyak hal2 yang terjadi dalam hidup saya, Dia mau kasih lihat kesetiaan dan anugrah Dia kepada saya. Saya berdoa agar kehendakNya yang jadi.

Fanny Crosby

Saya kagum pada Fanny karena dia bersyukur atas kebutaannya. Dia tidak menyimpan dendam terhadap dokter yang salah operasi. Dia malah mau berterima kasih pada dokter itu. Katanya, kalau dia tidak buta, dia tidak akan bisa melihat janji Tuhan yang begitu clear. Kalau dia bisa melihat, mungkin akan banyak distractions yang menghalangi penglihatan surgawi itu. Saya belajar bersyukur terhadap hal-hal pahit yang saya harus jalani dalam hidup saya, baik lewat pilihan2 bodoh yang saya buat ataupun hal2 yang diluar kontrol saya. Saya belajar mensyukuri dan mencintai setiap hal sebab Tuhan sanggup merubah semuanya menjadi indah pada akhirnya. Justru setiap hal2 buruk itu, saya merasa Tuhan ada disana dan tidak pernah meninggalkan saya. Saya bersyukur atas kekhilafan saya, all my silly mistakes and sins, bagi saya, saya harus melewati semuanya itu sebagai bagian dari panggilan hidup saya. Amy pernah berkata, kalau in acceptance lieth peace, dan saya agree. Unless and until we accept what has happened to us as part of God ordinance for our life, we will never be in perfect peace.

 

Tuhan saya cuma minta satu hal dalam hidup ini. Ini sungguh2. Saya mau mengenal Engkau dan mencintai Engkau. Saya mau mengalami kabar baikMu dan membagikannya…

Conceal Not My Loving Kindness

His thoughts said, “If it were anyone else I would not feel so doubtful.”

His Father said, “Because Thou art what Thou knowest Thou art and what I know Thou art, the glory will be all Mine when anything is done. Look not at Thyself at all; let Thine eyes be ever looking unto Thy Lord.”

Then in grateful wonder the son said, “Thy loving kindness is ever before mine eyes.”

And His Father said, ”Conceal not My Loving Kindness.”

___________________________________________________

Sometimes when we lost confidence on ourselves, we feel really lost. But God said, “Well, you are what you know you are. And I know you, my child. If anything you did were successful, it will be because of Me. Get the focus off yourself, look at Me long and hard.” Then we feel that God cares for us tremendously because we will be helped in anything. He asked us not to conceal anymore His loving kindness by doubting Him.   

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would like to dedicate the HTS HFS (His Thoughts Said, His Father Said) series to my dearest friend, Yuanita who kindly gave me the little book by Amy Carmichael. Her writings have truly pushed my thoughts heavenward, reduce the incidents of self pity, and warm my cold heart. This book is truly a gem. When I thirsted for God’s word, this book presented it in such a way that I will remember my Saviour dear love for me and will not forsake me.

Technorati Tags: HTSHFS

Job Offer

I like you.
I don't like to waste time.
If you get through this far, you are really worth my time.

Dear Boss,
Thanks :)!
I hope I am useful
I am going to work as for God though
Not for you...
But am sure it won't hurt you
I hope I will be able to help you expand the business
Your guidance and patience are much appreciated
I hope to do a damn good job
I hope to get my driving license soon
You are really a nice person, I don't want to disappoint you

O God help me
Kick away my laziness
Help me to work hard for you
Help me to spread the fragrance of Christ

Blessed Assurance

Blessèd assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Refrain

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Refrain

Perfect submission, all is at rest
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

Refrain

 

Words by Fanny Crosby & music by Phoebe P Knapp

This is My Desire

May I never forget

Thy terrible sacrifice on the cross

I am only a sinner

Only, only can be made whole by Thee

If Thou shalt see me and use me as instrument to display Thy glory

I must be little, quiet and humble

Lord, what is the purpose of my life?

What is the use of Lilis here on earth?

If not, if not to carry Thy whole purpose

If not, if not to live according to Thy will

If not, if not to fulfil Thy calling for my life

Do as you please, My Lord

Carry out Thy perfect zeal in me

Make use of me

Til’ I draw my last breath

Thy purpose is most excellent!

most glorious! most wonderful!

most longed! most loved!

most kind!

Here, I am at your disposal.

Always close to Thee

Thou my everlasting Portion, more than friend or life to me,
All along my pilgrim journey, Savior, let me walk with Thee.
Close to Thee, close to Thee, close to Thee, close to Thee,
All along my pilgrim journey, Savior, let me walk with Thee.

"Close to Thee" by Fanny Crosby

I am weak, but Thou art strong;
Jesus, keep me from all wrong;
I’ll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

Through this world of toil and snares,
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

"Just a closer with Thee" by Anonymous

These two hymns have been great comfort to me. Never let me go wander, Jesus
Thou art my greatest treasure. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want".

Yesusku luar biasa!

Telah lama kucari-cari
Langkah hidup yang lebih pasti
Hidup penuh kemenangan setiap hari
Suatu saat Yesus panggilku tuk jadi pekerja
melayani, jadi saksi bagi Dia

Bukan sembarang pekerja, Yesusku luar biasa!
Dia raja sgala raja
Memanggilku menuai ladangNya
Hanya anugrah semata
Aku dipakai olehNya
Sungguh amat istimewa
Tuk Jadi pekerja Kristus yang Mulia!

Hari ini aku bisa nyanyi lagu ini sungguh-sungguh. Mengamini setiap kata-katanya. Puji Tuhan. Seperti kata Maria, "Lord, I am your servant. Be unto me as You have said."

Pain

Pain, yea pain,

Is the way to maturity

Pain, yea pain,

When you bear one another

Pain, yea pain,

When you must deny self

Pain, yea pain,

When you severely wronged

Pain, yea pain,

God Almighty has ordained

Pain, yea pain,

the one and only lane.

I'd rather have Him

I'd rather have Jesus than man's applause
I'd rather have Jesus than worldwide fame

Updates

• I am quite sick of looking for a job. A lot of sales jobs but little of technical ones esp. technical I have no experience since graduation.
  
• Possibly blow the chance of getting food tech job yesterday
• Still have not found a possible course to take if I want to go back to school
  
• 2 Vets are coming on my way this week
  
• 24 April got Mandarin test
  
• Duet 25 April
• Mama is coming
  
• Enjoying "His thoughts said, His Father said" by Amy Carmichael

Other than that, I have been enjoying my walk with God. The old me is still very much controlled by what people think. But, I now learn to trust God a lot more for everything whether things done or not done. I am quite tired.

There is a fountain filled with blood

There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.

The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.
Washed all my sins away, washed all my sins away;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.

E’er since, by faith, I saw the stream Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.
And shall be till I die, and shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.

wow...amen!

Thou art my satisfaction

Dear dear Lord, Thou art my strong refuge.
In the world, I found love not
In the world, I fall and tremble
When I am alone, no one's there to comfort
When I am sad, no one's there to hold my hands
When I have failed, not one there to accept
When my spirit's heavy, not one shoulder to cry on

Oh Lord!
I believe Thou longeth to see my countenance
I believe Thou hath leadeth me to Thyself
To Thy fountain of delight where the water never stops
To Thy fountain of blood where Thy mercy makes me whole again
Thou art my satisfaction, Jesus!

Rick Warren's Inauguration Prayer

I know this is a bit random. But, I am suddenly curious about the transcript of Warren's prayer to bless the newly elected Obama. The beautiful and inspiring prayer is as following:

Almighty God, our Father:

Everything we see, and everything we can’t see, exists because of you alone.

It all comes from you, it all belongs to you, it all exists for your glory.

History is your story.

The Scripture tells us, “Hear, O Israel, the LORD is our God, the LORD is one.” And you are the compassionate and merciful one. And you are loving to everyone you have made.

Now today we rejoice not only in America’s peaceful transfer of power for the 44th time, we celebrate a hinge point of history with the inauguration of our first African American president of the United States.

We are so grateful to live in this land, a land of unequaled possibility, where a son of an African immigrant can rise to the highest level of our leadership. And we know today that Dr. King and a great cloud of witnesses are shouting in heaven.

Give to our new president, Barack Obama,

the wisdom to lead us with humility,

the courage to lead us with integrity,

the compassion to lead us with generosity.

Bless and protect him, his family, Vice President Biden, the Cabinet, and every one of our freely elected leaders.

Help us, O God, to remember that we are Americans–united not by race or religion or blood, but to our commitment to freedom and justice for all.

When we focus on ourselves, when we fight each other, when we forget you–forgive us.

When we presume that our greatness and our prosperity is ours alone–forgive us.

When we fail to treat our fellow human beings and all the earth with the respect that they deserve–forgive us.

And as we face these difficult days ahead, may we have a new birth of clarity in our aims, responsibility in our actions, humility in our approaches, and civility in our attitudes—even when we differ.

Help us to share, to serve, and to seek the common good of all.

May all people of good will today join together to work for a more just, a more healthy, and a more prosperous nation and a peaceful planet.

And may we never forget that one day, all nations–and all people–will stand accountable before you.

We now commit our new president and his wife, Michelle, and his daughters, Malia and Sasha, into your loving care.

I humbly ask this in the name of the one who changed my life—Yeshua, ‘Isa, Jesus [Spanish pronunciation], Jesus—who taught us to pray:

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,

for Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

Amen.

Hort Park-TTC-DeVoTiOnS

Hort Park

Oh what can I say? It was great to be out with you all. So much fun, laughter and love shared. Ita, your birthday was a great day!!! hahaha. You are so lucky, the people that went were special entertainer from young to old. God loves them all. The nice landscape, greens, the labyrinth ball that we played, the jokes shared (doa susi ambien, bwahahaha)

TTC-SBC Trip

On the purpose to deliver and bom-bom cheer Ita to her place of interview and helping Kak Tony to find out more about the bible colleges in Singapore, we set on a little adventure. I get to know these three people a little more: Ita, Dyn and Kak Tony. The clouds gathered over us when we arrived at TTC with no Kak Tony with us. The path to the entrance is rather slanted and we walked through the backyard of TTC only to find there is no reception. The sky was dark and drops of rain warned us to search for shelter. We approached one auntie proceeding downstairs, she aint know the place as she’s a visitor like us. The gardener only speak mandarin and had poor knowledge of his work place. General administration office oso donno. New guy meh? We ran to the canteen and was anxious about Kak Tony (no $$$ on his mobile). Luckily, one uncle told us to wait at B2 for the incoming taxi, we then found out that we actually passed B2 when we were looking for the entrance. Three of us sat down near B2 lift, Ita was a little more anxious, Dyna was generally happy. I basically was ignorant of all the happenings and wanted to sleep. Before a few rubbish chats, we tried to send messages to him because he now totally can not receive any calls nor replied text. We sent him texts and recommending him to have faith. Anyway, He finally arrived! and told all his drama up on the second floor balcony with thunder and lightening blazing in front of our eyes. We closed our ears and/or eyes every so often. He shared that a singaporean auntie was so mad at him thinking he cut her SGH bus queue at outram. He was actually waiting for 166 bus to come to TTC. It is his first time to travel by spore bus alone. After getting into the 166 bus and feeling certain to get off, He actually arrived at a wrong place! While waiting for the taxi, a car passed by, showing no slightest courtesy, it wetted him from face to toe. Once he got onto a taxi, he received our “have faith” text. Hihihi. Poor guy.

Ita nervously went for her interview and was happy for everything. Finger crossed!

Along the way we all listening to Kak Tony sharing about his ministry experiences. It was quite fun! We then went to SBC particularly SBC’s book centre where we spent most of our time chatting about this and that book, leaving the place not buying any. SBC looked a little boring and from what I heard, the students there received strict disciplines. Anyhow, we managed to hear a lady’s rehearsing her voice. Fiuh hard work of aaAAAaAAAaAA!

The day was ended by feasting at Adam Rd Food Centre, ordering famous local cuisines such as the soto with bergedil, prawn noodle, nasi briyani and rojak. As I write the previous sentence, my mouth waters just imagining vivid pictures of the little feast we had. I believe, so does yours! I will be back to Adam Rd. I am not sure if I will be back to the colleges though hehe, God willing. Ita, all the best!

DeVoTiOnS

I have been reading Life Sentences by Warren Wiersbe and Amy Carmichael’s His thougts said His Father said. Yesterday, I wrote a post on Competition, pride and all. Today my reading answered it. It was so good to find God answers prayers. My reading was on Lucifer. How His pride and ambition hath lead him to the path of hell. To sum it up, three old lies He propagates in today’s modern times: There is no absolute truth in this world, there is no consequences for personal disobedience and no limit to what we can achieve. Sobering thoughts.

I will share one bit from Amy Carmichael:

The Healing of The Tongue

His thoughts said, “Nothing that I have been able to say to those whom I have tried to help seemed to do much for them. What is the use of saying anything? Perhaps it would be better to say nothing.”

His Father said, “The healing of the tongue is a tree of life . Hast Thou ever seen a tree bear fruit in a day?”

I think the short note is really relevant to my own personal walk with God, my relationship with my brother and probably to you. We tried to help people around us with our words but we are seeing little effects taking place. We are discouraged. The Lord gently reminded us that words of healings brings life. But, a tree clearly do not bear fruit in a day. It takes days…months…until the right time comes. It is not easy to change, my friend. Not until much patience, prayers and tears. I am still walking slowly ahead, progressing ahead. My brother as well. Every time I felt I was faster than my soul then it is the time to slow down and catch up. your prayers and kind support are much appreciated.

Yokoso Japan!

Jepang, Gile Keren banget!! Iklan ini menggugah orang yang menonton. Seperti kata-katanya di awal video "Soulful Japan". Japan as it portrayed beauty, perfection, tranquility and passion. The background music is dramatic and exciting. It is a believable ads and makes me wants to visit Japan. Yokosa Japan!

Life Contests

I wish I could blog what I think. AS the process of thinking is in progress, I wish to blog every word. Hehehe. Then deletion of the unimportance is necessary. My thoughts are somewhere these lines:

Are Christians allowed to be competitive?

How do we survive in a competitive culture?

What should be our motivation?

What are the temptations?

How do we avoid the pitfalls of competition yet still giving God my best?

 

Singaporeans are known for their Kiasu-ness. My question is… are you not?

If you are, is your goal pure in giving God your best? or peer pressure? Striving for the approval of others? or a matter of Pride to be ahead than others?

If you are not, Have you been giving God your best? or being lazy?

 

“He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble.” Pro 3:34

“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” 2 Cor 10:12

“Never be influenced by the evaluation of men. Be careful not to follow the ideas of man. Get your value from God. Men have their way of despising small things but God uses them.”

“When God wants to do His great works, He trains somebody to be quiet enough, little enough and humble enough. Then, He uses that person.”

“Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”

Make me a servant

Lord,

I give up my own plans and purposes

All my own desires and hops

and accept Thy will for my life

I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee

to be Thine, forever

Fill me and seal me with thy Holy Spirit

Use me as Thou wilt

Send me where Thou wilt

Work out Thy whole will in my life

At any cost, now and forever…

by Betty Scott Stam

a servant has no agenda of his own. he has to learn obedience.

accepting what seems to us the unacceptable will of God

because in acceptance, lieth peace…

If your life is broken when you gave it to Jesus,

It may be because pieces will feed the multitude, when a loaf will only satisfy a little boy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

This little impatience with one another…

This little urge to change things, myself and people my way…

These little pains, Lord…

may they be fragrant offerings to You

Equip me with wisdom O Lord,

that I know so well what You required of me

enabling me to refuse the rest gently

send me to pursue, to accept, to hope

the fulfilment of Your entire will for my life

Thou art Lord! my refuge and my strength

God is our Refuge and our Strength,
Our ever present Aid,
And, therefore, though the earth remove,
We will not be afraid;
Though hills amidst the sea be cast,
Though foaming waters roar,
Yes, though the mighty billows shake
The mountains on the shore.

A river flows whose streams make glad
The city of our God,
The holy place wherein the Lord
Most High has His abode;
Since God is in the midst of her,
Unmoved her walls shall stand,
For God will be her early help,
When trouble is at hand.

Guide me Great Jehovah

Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah,
Pilgrim through this barren land.
I am weak, but Thou art mighty;
Hold me with Thy powerful hand.
Bread of Heaven, Bread of Heaven,
Feed me till I want no more;
Feed me till I want no more.

When I tread the verge of Jordan,
Bid my anxious fears subside;
Death of deaths, and hell’s destruction,
Land me safe on Canaan’s side.
Songs of praises, songs of praises,
I will ever give to Thee;
I will ever give to Thee.

I love you Lord

Fijian version:
au tu vanga
vei ke muni
karo ko vanga
nayata muni
tigo miao
niu vaka tusa
meka talei dinanga
turanga

Hope, Joy and Peace

Though my eyes can not see
He secured a bright future for me
what is the use of despondency?
Only a leap of faith to be free

Though my eyes fail to see
He provides safety and joyful glee
Hear O soul, why be sad and gloomy?
Only a leap of faith to be free

Though my eyes blinded to see
He quietly ransomed thee
Merciful and loving the lowly
Only a leap of faith to be free

xxx

Need-a-job

geehee

My recent job turn down and the weeks aftermath only serve to prove that I am stupido, fool and the kinds because I regretted saying no to the job. Haiyah, the choice here seems to be either a highly challenging, pressure-filled, on-the-go job or no job at all-sitting around-fooling yourself kind of job. The part I feel that I am such a fool is because I regret what I did. Then in order to stop being a fool, I need to look forward with hope, which I believe the will of God for me.

I guess I just have to buckle up with a lot of courage and confidence to face any challenges. But where do you think I can find that? Am I able to manufacture such good virtues? frustrations!!! --> I guess the answer is faith and sadly I don't have enough of it.

"we must live by faith not by sight" --> God's will for us

it is one thing to enjoy theology and another thing to believe it and live in it. My heart needs to catch up with my head. Dear good Lord, o help.

I miss the thrill of going for an interview. Shot! I only want the thrill but not the job. huehehe.

I am getting a little impatient with everything and a little lazier everyday.

Temptations: youtube, blueletterbible, facebook, e-mails, music, countless books to read, blogspot.

No matter what I did, I believe God's providence goes along way ahead before me. Even though I fall, He will pick me up. God is good to you, Lilis. Every difficulties and hardships that come along your way are heavenly gifts to keep us humble and dependent on God. Let's celebrate the little bumps on the road, let's welcome it with both hands, let's live in the will of God.

sometimes I feel I need to move on and another time I must slow down. I am quite confused and most of the time worry over my own health. Must fix my eyes upon Jesus, must focus on Him and His purpose and His promises. Must believe Him. Must rest in Him.

PS: I must start memorizing some scriptures for my own benefit. in times of troubles i often lose grip.

O la la, Bon Appetit!

you can imagine what I am going to do when I have an oven...
you can imagine what I am going to be when I have an oven...
thank God I don't have an oven!?!?

Gorgeous Beef Bourguignon on Mashed Potatoes



Julia Child Roasted Chicken with Lemon and Herbs



Five Spiced Peach Tarts

Hobbies…wait, addictions?

Mince Beef Black Pepper, it was an easy scrumptious lunch. Do you notice the color variation? it is for antioxidants sake!!!

Egg & Baked Beans, O’ healthy breakfast

(Hi protein, Low GI carb, anne... you will be pleased, mama!)

My recent books from the local library

Yeap, Jamie Oliver is good 'ol favorite, got the bug from my hostmum. His cooking was easy and yum. Anyway, I picked it for nostalgic and possibly...experimental purposes.

Thai cookbook, last December visit to Thailand hath cured my dull-Singaporean taste buds with their delicious, indo-liking, coconut-ing, tantalizing, mouthwatering dishes. Who can resist?

The Starbucks experience, I’ve heard a lot about it, flicked through it and I decided to have it together with the coffee.

The complete idiot’s guide to whatever you have read above, I just think I need to work smart. We need to dig on the wisdom God granted to everyone (not just the elect) as common grace, which I might be lacking.

Hmmm, I think sooner or later I will pick up photography, fashion and those artsy fartsy thing as my new hobby as well. Oh gosh! they are very enjoyable and time consuming, I can understand...

I have not love, why? [edited]

I have not love, why?
I demand all my rights
not one of them shall be denied

I have not love, why?
I fear to lose my life
I was afraid that I might die

I have not love, why?
I love myself...
more than Jesus...sigh.


"Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24

Hopefully it's better.

Where lieth peace? by Amy Carmichael

He said, "I will forget the dying faces;
The empty places—
They shall be filled again;
O voices mourning deep within me, cease."
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, "I will crowd action upon action,
The strife of faction
Shall stir my spirit to flame;
O tears that drown the fire of manhood, cease."
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in endeavour lieth peace.

He said, "I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life's riot?
Shut be my door to pain.
Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease."
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, "I will submit; I am defeated;
God hath depleted
My life of its rich gain.
O futile murmurings; why will ye not cease?"
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, "I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God to-morrow
Will to His son explain."
Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word, not vain;
For in acceptance lieth peace.

Beautiful! Exact! :D

O Lord help me!

The amazing providence of God, the greatness of His love enables us to keep a quiet heart. Forgive us, Lord for our unbelieving heart. You must have detested my attitude, help me will you? to be able to pray the following...to trust You with my whole heart.


"Lord, I am willing:

to receive what you sent
to lack what you withhold
to relinquish what you take
to suffer what you inflict
to do what you command and
to be what you require."

--Elisabeth Elliot

Tuhan ubahkan saya

Tuhan ubahkan saya
Aku sering lupa bahwa Engkau mengasihi aku
Bahkan Kau rela menebus aku yang hina
dengan anakMu yang tak bercela

Tuhan ubahkan saya
Aku sering lupa bahwa Engkau mengampuni aku
Sekalipun dosaku merah karena jinah
Kau rela melupakannya

Tuhan ubahkan saya
Aku sering lupa bahwa Engkau yang memilih saya
ketika aku merasa tidak layak
Engkau memberi kemampuan dan talenta

Tuhan ubahkan saya
Aku sering lupa bahwa Engkau menyertai saya
Meskipun dunia penuh mara bahaya
Ingatlah, maut pun tak berkuasa menawan kita

Tuhan ubahkan saya
Tolong aku yang sering lupa...

Random photos

Showing off some of the books I got from the library. I only read two, which I highly recommend: dynamic cover letter & 60s you're hired. The rest aren't too exciting.

Sapo Tahu Udang (dunno the english)

Sapo tahu udang (zoom version)

Ham & Egg Healthy Sandwich (LOL)

Biehun Char (Biehun Ikan Mujair special from Indo)

Do take a break

Pain and sacrifices mmm
Challenges mature you, If life has no challenges it will not mature you.
But, I do not think that I have not taken any challenges.
It's just...I forgotten to step on the break...
It's just...I had done more than I should.
Instead of keep asking "what if God wants you take on board the challenges?",

What if He did not ask me to?
What if He just wants me to enjoy Him and enjoy the smooth long road for the moment?

Lord, sometimes it is difficult to rest. It is difficult to shut my ears off what people say. Very few people experienced what I do, at least I only know a few. We are struggling with it.

It is foolishness to compare yourself with people
each with different capacity
each with different calling and uniqueness
don't box them up
yet, we keep falling into that won't we?

This whole world is just a mess
If we let our ears to listen to them
We will one day reject the idea that Celestial City even exists
All the more, we must devote ourselves to the Almighty
Drawing each day's strength from Him alone
Keeping in touch with the reality

May the Lord bless us and help us in days ahead
May His grace always fall upon us,
open our blind eyes to His truth
May we all finally ended up being faithful servants
Living the purpose the Creator has for us

Total Wreck

I feel like a total wreck, to be honest. May be, may be I just need some more time. I can not follow whatever people say or think I should do (but gee, I am made to be a follower, not a leader). I probably should just enjoy things and relax a while...

Why do I buy in people's opinions so easily? Why have I not any strong principles?
Why do I allow this?

Lord, I am nothing, only ordinary human being, sinful and helpless.
I do not have faith when you said that I must live by faith not by sight.
I kept getting confused with the things I can see and
The Celestial City seems to be kingdom far far away.
I learned that I have always been taking the flight response when I am in a conflict, but
Self-mastery is not easy, in fact it is the fruit of the Spirit. It is work in progress not instant ability.
If I have not utilized all the graces that you lavished on me, I am sorry.
I do not want to be that one talent-servant, scared and buried it away. But, neither I have the courage, Lord to work it out.
If I have disobeyed you and not being on your track, forgive me.

Remember Lilis that you have a Heavenly Father, and that's Me. I know and understand what you are going through. Come...come into my embrace. We walk again, shall we?

I am a dead meat

Never in my life I turned down a job offer (again, not that I receive that many offer). This boss is quite interesting guy, he is the typical chinese singaporean that wish his business make it all over the world. Not a dreamy wishy woshy thing, but it is achievable nowadays. It's just I find that it is all too ambitious and am so sorry I chose not to take part in it. My age telling me that I should take on the challenges. I am telling myself that the effort does not equal the rewards. All the boss try to achieve is success, his products gained a lot of respect from all over the world. He thinks I can talk which is a compliment. He thinks that my technical skills need polishing but I can learn and survive through. Oh gosh...hearing that I feel like I am not gonna survive at all. What? am I here trying to test my endurance through it? you gotta be joking. I am just barely pass through, sir. That's what you do not know about. I don't blame you, in fact I wish to help out to your company, but I am just not fitted for the work, as yet. I will one day, may be next year or two but not now. Thank you once again for offering me such delicious offer, very tempting but I have to apply "to thine own self be true". I must be honest with myself.

Everybody asks me why? why? why? why? why?

The job is too challenging for me. I am not ready even though the boss thinks I can make it. I just don't want a life spent for work, striving for something that I don't think it's too important. His secretary was puzzled, I guess they never been rejected before. Please trust me, it was not easy to make the decision. It was through much prayers and discussions. I don't really want to do it, as simple as that. At the very beginning, after the interview I already putting this job aside, let alone thinking that I will be accepted. I am just not ready for another challenging job, not another full of pressure job, it will burn my head I tell you.

I don't care if people think I am a loser. so be it. I know what I can handle and will stick to it!

I am so tired after the whole day dealing with quick decisive effective decision making.

Decision made! done deal. no more offer.

I wish I was not in this situation. I wish I can just embrace all opportunities and go mad about it. But, I can't... deep inside my heart I know... I am not ready...

Through Furnaces of Pain

This is one of the notes, part of my daily devotion, I am lazy to write so just type will do.

 

A dedicated Christian probably has avoided a lot of physical suffering that comes to a person who defiles and destroys his body through sin and selfishness. It’s true. Are you a dedicated Christian yet?

 

Higher ministries of pain:

1. Pain can have purifying power. “You must realize that to be dead to sin inevitably means pain.”
2. Fellowship with Christ. You and I can be drawn closer to God through pain
3. Bringing glory to God. Not that God must inflict us with pain to gain glory for Himself but rather, your pain can be used to bring glory to Him.

 

This time note is very short indeed. In fact, I did not feel as much stirred as the previous chapter. Some repetition of the truth I heard before. But, I think I am stuck with the application e.g. how many times have I accepted pain that comes into my life with both hands? Have I been thankful for them because they will bring me closer to God, they will open my eyes to the spiritual truth which I probably never seen or experience before? Have I been positive and trusted God through the permitted pain? It is easier to complain, it is easier to ask God for the pain to be removed but that means we have not understood the truth yet, we have not longed for the things above but the things on earth. Worldly things are still somehow take hold a part of us and we are reluctant to let them go. Forgive us Lord, for allowing our heart to be enticed with the temporal. Help us to fix our eyes on Jesus and the heavenly things that is eternal. Thank you for refreshing our focus once again today. It is impossible to desire those things, Lord not until you gave us the faith we desperately need. Help us, we ask. Amen. 

Hidupku…

 

This song is sort of my ‘life theme song’ these days, describing my admiration, hope and desires. Listen to the chorus:

Hidupku…hanyalah untukMu…

Segenap hatiku kagum akan kebaikanMu

dan nafasku menceritakan kasihMu…

Ajarku berdiam dekat di hatiMu

Influence

I’m really inspired by the following few paragraphs, some of which are from my old posts, reread a few days ago and still give me some thrills:

1. Life is about taking risks
2. Several ways to make yourself miserable

 

Recently, I have found the truths listed below more powerful than before:

“The things God calls “sin”, Satan tells us are:

• Fun
• Safe
• Innocent
• Desirable
• No big deal
• Meeting our needs
• Unavoidable

The truth is that sin is dangerous, deadly and destructive

The truth is that we will reap what we sow

The truth is that every choice we make today will have consequences

The truth is that when we play with fire, we will get burned.

The truth is that “sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (James 1:15)

List of the consequences of sin

• Sin steal joy (Ps 51:12)
• Sin removes confidence (1 John 3:19-21)
• Sin brings guilt (Ps 51:3)
• Sin gives Satan the upper hand (2 Cor 2:9-11)
• Sin quenches God’s Spirit (1 Thes 5:19)
• Sin brings physical damage (Ps 38:1-11; 31:10)
• Sin causes an ache in the soul (Ps 32:3-4)
• Sin breaks God’s heart (Eph 4:30)
• Sin opens door to other sins (Is 30:1)
• Sin breaks fellowship with God (Is 59:1-2)
• Sin produces fear (Prov 28:1)
• Sin makes me its slave (John 8:34; Rm 6:16)”

excerpt from Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh De Moss

 

I think we have grown soft to sin and somehow tolerate it at a great measure. We have been bombarded with worldly values, not realizing that we might just buy into Satan deceptions. We really need a fresh reminder of how destructive sin is and how it could enslave us. Get yourself a spring clean from Jesus now!

Reading Wish List

Just to share with you what I am indulging on these days:

• The bumps are to climb on by Warren Wiersbe
• Lies women believe by Nancy Leigh De Moss

Both books have been comforts and a great catch up with the Almighty! I am committed to finish them and apply it in my life. Wow, do pray that the Holy Spirit will use it to change me and strengthen my relationship with Him.

I have read quite a lot of books but I have not exercised patience and meditating the truths discovered. So, it’s an expensive waste. So, read your book prayerfully so the truths may change your life.

Wish to read:

• “Cure for the common life, finding your sweet spot” by Max Lucado –> because I had a sneak preview into the book and it helps you to unearth your God-given skills and talents which in turn gives you direction in career even things to do in life.
• “Facing your giants”, another book by Lucado which seems to be interesting and possibly an encouragement book like the Bumps.
• “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren, I read this probably 4 or 5 years ago. Felt like I need to be freshly reminded what I am to do on earth.
• “On being the servant of God” by Warren Wiersbe, I need to make it a daily reading ;p. Perhaps after the bumps and Lies.

I’d say I have that lust for books. Lust for knowledge and the truth. Is it a good thing? only when it affects your life in a positive way. Haha.

 

I am thankful for a little break in Indonesia. Thankful that my relationship with God is restored and sweet. Christ is my hero. I can truly say that He is the best thing that ever happened in my life so far… and I think will ever be in the span of eternity. He loves you too, He is willing to change your life too if you would allow Him. To have Him is to have hope.

Constant Care

Today I feel a bit lazy to write it on my journal, but not to write is like throwing away diamonds. (PS: my journal has been full with lotsa thoughts! weehee. I like writing :D)

Anyway, beside reading Nancy’s book, I am rereading Wiersbe’s The Bumps, uhuh! I had been flicking through that little book and really almost finish. But, I don’t think I gained a lot from that book so I decided to slow down and write what I got. Of course without applying the truth learned to my life, reading the most excellent book is really wasting my time and energy.

Today the reading was on God’s constant care for us. I would like to summarize some significant parts:

Yesterday God helped me
Today He’ll do the same
How will this continue?
Forever - praise His name!

Asking: Wiersbe said that we are to ask God to give us poor memory of our sins of the past and failures and good memory for all His goodness and faithfulness. The key I think is on the asking part. I have rarely asked God for the things above and rather pushing to do it myself. We must remember that in our condemnable nature, we are totally unable to be holy. Holiness is only possible with God.

Fact: God has taken care of you up to this hour and He is never going to forsake you!

We forget: the enemy wants us to think that God does not care or God has forsaken us. When the going gets tough, the enemy says “If God really loved you, this wouldn’t have happened. How many times in pain or sorrow Satan has tried to cast doubts on the love and faithfulness of God. Somehow we have the idea when life is easy, God is good to us but when life is hard, God has forsaken us and just quite the opposite might true!

Complete Security: We are God’s children, and our loving heavenly Father will not abandon us to the enemy. Even if our faith wavers, God will remain faithful, and His words never change. God helps us because He loves us. We belong to Him and He will never let us down. Amen!

Reminder: “Never doubt in the darkness what God has told you in the light”

I like his illustration when he had to take flights to other cities:

Once I board a jet, I just relax and turn the whole trip to God and the crew. I don’t try to fly the plane. All of my worrying and fretting will never change one rivet or bolt in that airplane. Life is like this. You have trusted Christ as your Saviour, and you belong to Him. Just rest in Him. Don’t try to fly the plane—just yield to Christ and let His loving care overshadow you.

Trust Him: After all, God can not fail us, for if He does, He ceased to be God.

What a friend we have in Jesus
all our sins and grief to bear
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer...

A prayer:

Lord, I know that I amen all the above. You are the one I seek, most satisfying and most beautiful. There is no other place, no other fountain springs out the sweetest water like you do. You are the place of rest and refuge. Only in You, I can fully live and be. Holy, Holy, Holy...is the Almighty!

Lies Women Believe

“Helping people to feel loved and worthwhile has become the central mission of the church. We are learning not to worship God in self-denial and costly service, but to embrace our inner child, heal our memories, overcome addictions, lift our depressions, improve our self-images, establish self-preserving boundaries, substitute self-love for self-hatred, and replace shame with an affirming acceptance of who we are.

Recovery from pain is absorbing an increasing share of the church’s energy and that is alarming…

We have become committed to relieving the pain behind our problems rather than using our pain to wrestle more passionately with the character and purpose of God. Feeling better has become more important than finding God…

As a result, we happily camp on biblical ideas that help us feel loved and accepted, and we pass over scripture that calls us to higher ground. We twist wonderful truths about God’s acceptance, his redeeming love, and our new identity in Christ into a basis for honoring ourselves rather than seeing those truths for what they are: the stunning revelation of a God gracious enough to love people who hated him, a God worthy to be honored above everyone and everything else.

…We have rearranged things so that God is now worthy of honor because he has honored us. “Worthy is the Lamb,” we cry, not in response to his amazing grace, but because he has recovered what we value most: the ability to live ourselves. We now matter more than God.”

 

--a rather accurate description of Christians these days by Dr. Larry Crabb on his book Finding God. The paragraph above was quoted in an excellent book written by Nancy Leigh De Moss, titled Lies Women Believe. Her book is life changing!!! Do pray for diligence to read and revelations, all things for the transformation to be like His Son.

Bercermin sebentar

Dulu mungkin sering kuatir dan takut. Banyak sekali potensi diri yang gak berhasil dikembangkan. Kenapa dulu gak bisa sedikit lebih tenang, mungkin terlalu hectic dan terlalu banyak komitmen sehingga gak punya waktu berdiam diri. Gak boleh kayak gitu sih. Sekarang harus berubah!!! I know what I can do and what God put in my heart to do. I will do it!!

Tanpa disadari, doa-doa gua banyak yang self-centred. Seringkali gua lupa kalau hidup ini bukan hidup untuk tujuan menyenangkan diri sendiri, tapi hidup ini tuh buat Tuhan, buat memenuhi tujuan dan kehendak Dia masih membiarkan gua hidup di bumi ini. Biarlah mulai dari hari ini gua sadar akan hal ini, benar-benar celik lah which means menerima apapun situasi yang Dia kasih ke gua baik painful disciplines atau challenges. Semuanya itu harus dilalui demi menjadi orang yang dikehendaki olehNya.

Gua bersyukur untuk waktu-waktu diam sekarang, gua bisa mencari Tuhan dan kehendakNya dalam hidup gua. Gua bersyukur karena kerjaan kemaren biarlah menjadi batu loncatan untuk ke arah yang lebih baik selanjutnya. Gua kepingin belajar bisnis, gua kepingin mencoba hal-hal baru, take risks lah istilahnya... tapi bukan dengan membabi-buta, apa aja mau tanpa arah tujuan.

Terlalu banyak passion di berbagai hal membuat gua gak fokus, akhirnya gak ada yang tercapai. Terlalu banyak bermimpi tapi tidak punya keberanian untuk menjalankan, akhirnya tidak jadi apa-apa. Tuhan, aku tahu engkau tidak meminta kita melakukan sesuatu yang tidak pernah kita enjoy. Justru melakukan sesuatu yang kita ingin lakukan akan membuat kita melakukan tugas itu dengan efisien.

Gua kepengin memulai lagi. Belajar komunikasi lagi, belajar menyelesaikan konflik, belajar mengatakan tidak, belajar memahami orang lain, belajar menguasai diri sendiri.

One goal: menjadi manusia yang hidup sesuai dengan tujuan dan kehendakNya.

To be holy is to be happy. So be holy!

The happiest man in the world is a man living up the creator's purpose for him on earth.

Cooking Craze Part 2

As you realize, I am mending my blog. It's to be fine tuned. I have spent ages on it and haven't even posted anything!! grrr. I am running out of my patience already :P :P

Anyway, a few pictures for your enjoyment (from my cooking adventure before I came back to Indonesia):

Mie Ayam Premier

Vegetable Soup

Spaghetti Bolognese

Life & Family

It's really good to be reunited with my family again especially my papa. This time around I was a little bit surprised, because he spent a little more time with us. This is very special and I wouldn't trade it with anything else. His words would calm me down and encourages me to keep going. I really love him. I really hope that Christ's love will touch my parents hearts and radically changed all of us. You know, I am praying for that. Nothing is impossible with God.

The love of Christ is too beautiful to be exchanged with materialism, cheap praises of men. His perfect love is healing for our fears, lifting up our shame and guilt. You are the answer, Lord! You are the answer for life abundant, nothing else.

These weeks are also a time for me to rethink of my life. What drives my life? What have I been living for? and God has been answering a lot of my prayers.

I realize that I have been harboring bitterness and it has to go. My worries are detestable in his eyes and it also has to go. I am grateful that the Lord spoke to me, never as clear but He asked me gently to repent from all sins. He kindly invites me again to walk with Him, hold His hands and trust Him. He is a strong tower, I can lean on Him whenever, wherever.

I have also been following too much the opinion of others. I would confess it's a weakness. Let everything be carried out for love and out of love. If it should deviate from what God thinks of us then we have somehow gave in for something worthless, cheap and unworthy. We need to start again.

I have been praying to get to know God more. The question "Do you have a heavenly father?" has impacted me profoundly. I found I am more like a prodigal daughter. It's so true, why should I live like a pauper when I am the King's child with all rights? I said to God, if I did not experience your love, what is the reason to even tell that God is good? Surely it made our words meaningless, powerless, no evident.

God has created me wonderfully.
I am precious in His sight.
He loves me more than anyone could.
He has a purpose for me.

I want to know this Jesus. ever more so.

I may have a few mountains to climb, but today I want to see them as inheritance prepared for me. I may have lost through many challenges but this time around I will not. I shall be stronger because my relationship with Him has been put right and continuously improved. The Lord will bring me through. He will surely do!

Never ever lose hope. He is my strength, He is preparing me back to ente the battle again. What will we do without the Holy Spirit? nothing. He is the source of power and love. Accept Him and experience Him yourself!!!

Cooking Craze

Gua seperti dilanda kepengen masak-masak belakangan ini.

Brunch for today:

Bihun cah putih
Maling goreng

At first, it all starts from imagination. We are going back to Jakarta soon and was wanting to clean up the fridge and pantry. My brother say he wants char bihun (the bihun we normally used is the one my mom bought in Jakarta, you couldn't find it here). Then, I said just used the Singaporean bihun and we will make bihun char putih (no dark soya sauce). A simple bihun, egg and chay sim mix. I like moist bihun char, so it would need extra water. Sorry, didn't take any picture. Since we still have maling luncheon in the fridge, fried maling dipped in chili tomato sauce are a perfect companion for white char bihun. My brother approves it. So, was quite happy for our brunch. After that, we had leftover ice cream and wafers. Half a lemon in the fridge had also been turned into hot lemon honey tea.

Dinner for today:

Cah Kol kapri
Pork and tomato soup

The vegetable dish comprises from cabbage, snow peas (my brother likes it sliced diagonally), spring onion and chopped fresh chili. Tossed them all in high heat with sprinkled salt, sugar and salty soy sauce made it a great dish.

The soup is made from pork meat ball, sliced tomatoes and 2 crushed garlic. Dark and light soy sauce are key sauces to brown the soup. My brother's favorite. Sorry though, I have no picture. We were too hungry.

We will give you a peek for tomorrow's menu:

Mie Ayam (premier, haha)
Nasi goreng + vegetable soup

This really shows that we are dead bored with Singapore food. Haha. If I remember, I will take some pictures tomorrow. Nitez.

Everything is possible with God

Nothing is impossible...nothing at all...

Grace Alone

my favorite!

My King and My God

Psalm 84 (with comments)

How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.

“Lord, my heart cries out…glory to the King…my greatest love in life”

Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young,
a place near your altar,

“His eyes is on the sparrow, and I know He watches over me…”

O Lord Almighty, my King and my God
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage

Diberkatilah orang yang menaruh kekuatan pada Tuhan. Yang percaya sepenuhnya kepadaNya. Yang rindu berjalan bersama-sama dengan dia, melewati segala rintangan dan hambatan dalam hidup ini untuk mencapai satu tujuan, yaitu lebih menyerupai Dia dan dekat dengan Dia. Perjalanannya tidak mudah namun diberkatilah orang-orang yang mau ikut dan percaya padaNya.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
They make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools

The Valley of Baca is a place in Palestine (Baka) means the valley of weeping, describing a gloomy and sterile ground. Also, a place for Balsam tree to grow, giving out white and pungent “tears”. This ‘sacred pilgrims’ was said to create fountains in this gloomy place, sort of showing how we as pilgrims could be a blessing in this world of sadness but also noted that those pilgrims would have gained the strength to be a blessing from God. 

They go from strength to strength
till each appears before God in Zion

I love this verse! Truly. Michael Loh always say this verse, we only go from strength to strength. At first, I didn’t get what he means. Now, I know… :D. Waw, this is such a beautiful passage. God gives us strength to do what He called us to do each day. As for tomorrow, it is not on our plate yet. He will empower you with every task given. Also, I remember the quote at EE’s book “Secure in the everlasting arm”, As thy days so shall thy strength be. God has not made us. God is making us. Day by day, you may not realize it nor trace His hands, but He is working. He had allowed me to see it, happening in my life and others life. His patience with us is most calming. He hath ordained that maturity does not come through an instant process. Patience is still a virtue. If we are melancholic type of person, we really need to learn this virtue.

As we read the rest of the sentence, “till each appears before God in Zion”…we will be there one day, we meet Him and see Him. Indeed, this life, this journey of faith is so called a pilgrimage. Imagine! He is making us until we meet Him. How about that? a continual process, never forsaken nor abandoned until we see our Creator? amazing…deeply comforting…

Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty;
Listen to me, O God of Jacob.

Heres, a privilege that every God’s children would have, asking the Father to provide good things

Look upon your shield, O God;
Look with favor on your anointed one.

when I first read the verse above, it’s weird. Normally, God is our shield but why the psalmist seems to be asking God to look to the Psalmist’s shield. Thus, God and the Psalmist’s shield are actually not the same person. I tried to find who is the Psalmist referring to. The NLT version has this verse clearer:

“O God, look with favor upon the king, our protector! Have mercy on the one you have anointed.”

The psalmist actually uphold his king in prayer! the king whom God appointed to ensure the welfare of His chosen people.

Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwells in the tents of the wicked.

The verse above describes the psalmist’s deep longing for God, to fellowship with Him in His sanctuary. I have found the sweetness of being near Him. He illumines my heart so that I may see the truth, experience His love for me at a greater level, He answers prayers such this. When you see His love among the congregation, you will know if it is genuine love because it will move you to praise God not man, it will make you draw near to Him, it will create thirst for Him. It is because He is love.

For the Lord is a sun and shield;
The Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does He withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

He bestows favor and honor. The proud truly has no hope indeed, if they are boasting around that is living under God’s mercy. When He took away, no proud can save his own name neither create his honor. God rules everything. His promises is like honey to those who are blameless, He promises not to withhold good things. This rewards sure bring comfort to the righteous. The reward is not the righteous’ goal rather, for their eyes are only fixed to Christ, focus on knowing more about Him and to imitate Him. No, the reward serves as great encouragement for the pilgrims to press on. The reward shows His love (again!).

O Lord Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.

At the end of such moving and persuasive passage, who does not want to trust God?

Holy Spirit, help us. speak to us ever so clearly. guide us into all truth. enable us to obey. in Jesus mighty name we pray. amen.

How to look mature

Oops did I do the extra mile... I still remember a few

"Oh she is your successor, Mark? she looks young."
"Is this your first job?"
"How long have you been working in marketing?"

Oh be quiet!!!!



Supposed to help you look polished and more sophisticated. hmmm. whatever it is...but I found it quite helpful. PS: I particularly like MUFA Aqua eyes. Never seen such eye pencil, very concentrated.

Response to Sunday Service 17.01.10

I learnt that if I did not put my thoughts down. I will miss it, I will forget what I want to say, what to response upon the sentences that was heard/read. Just to give you an example, I was going to write about Evangelism Explosion. I reckon it was a great and comprehensive gospel tool to share to the non-believers. But, now I totally forgot why I was so passionate about it. So, a bit of a waste coz I didn't manage to put it down.

What I am about to share now is not EE but some quotes/stories I heard from the pastor on last Sunday.

"You can serve without loving but you can not love without serving
You can give without loving but you can not love without giving
You can sacrifice without loving but you can not love without sacrificing"

My simple prayer to God was...

"no more serving without loving
neither giving without loving
sacrifice without loving, I want no more, not anymore..."

"Your generosity is the acid test of your spirituality"

I have failed the acid test. My spirituality was a bit shallow.

Some stories from the land of Africa really touched me:

A woman from Congo, she is crippled both legs, yet because she so desires to listen to the word of God, she would crawl to the place of meeting even though it was miles away. Moved by her condition, a missionary greeted her when she arrived. The missionary noticed her pain and all bothers while she made her way and asked the reason she would bear so much pain from crawling. She said Jesus loves her so, pain means nothing to her if she could listen to His words.

One more story

When the time of the offering comes, because people in Africa are majority poor, they can only afford giving vegetables and the fruits of the land. One small girl came up to also give an offering.
She put a silver coin on the table. After the service, a missionary approached her to ask how she could have such fortune, thinking she was too young and might steal. The girl smilingly replied

"I went to the plantery next door and I sold myself as a slave for the rest of my life to obtain this silver coin. I want to give to Jesus a sacrifice that represents my heart."

Wow..would I do that for Jesus?

Bits of life in 2010

I need to gather myself up for this!!! I realized after I left my University I had become very lazy, seriously. I was way more productive when I was at Uni but I think Life wise could have been better. Imagine, I was living in a beautiful country, New Zealand...yet I did not feel rested. Over five years, I had been on the go and I should have taken rest. Anyway, regrets always come after.

Never mind! start again! I finally gained 7 months work experience here in Singapore. Still though, I wish it could have been 1 year at least. I had tried my max. I think this is just a jump start for me to upscale to a better job. Working here has been a reverse culture shock. The people, the fast pace, the work culture... everything! (even church) was new. I had made myself comfortable with the western way of dealing with people and things, at least it was like that in NZ. But, you know, God knows it. It was not easy to get into my first job. I struggled through and God was with me. Despite, the down side of things I still managed to travel a bit around Asia which served as an eye-opener. I wish...I really wish I got more time, more time to mend my work in the previous job and probably things wouldn't have turned so bad. I wish I was tough and not overtly sensitive towards the opinions of others. I wish I was able to achieve goals and responsibilities given to me. But, it is all over.

I still want to start again. But, I would like to approach work with new ways. Lord, I need to upskill. I need to work up my people skills. I need to be a bit more disciplined and do my best. I am sorry I have been lazy. I still somehow wish I could stand my old boss a bit more. Yet, decision needs to be made and as for now I can only leave it at the Lord's hands. Whatever He brings me, I will apply for work and scholarships again. Let He opened the way.

I now learn to always give my best in everything that I do and leave the rest to God. It sounds so cliche but it is very difficult to do. But, I know in the end, for all matters, we need to trust God. God is at my corner, watching over me, supporting me. He accepts me and forgives all my sins. You know, the key to freedom is here with me. I need not despair any longer.

I have been living in much fear for the last two years. All sorts of fear. I have let Satan to beat me up with despair. Today, he shall do that to me no more. no more. God will take care of me. Surely. Surely. Christians must live faith not by sight. So, I must continue living by faith.

With Him no fear.

⁶ "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. ⁷ Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. ⁸ Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

(Joshua 1)


"Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

(Psalm 34:8)


^"28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

(Rm 8:28)


"³⁷ their hearts were not loyal to him,
they were not faithful to his covenant.

³⁸ Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities
and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger
and did not stir up his full wrath.

³⁹ He remembered that they were but flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return."

(Ps 78:37-39)

²¹ "When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

²² I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

²³ Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."

(Ps 73: 21-26)

The Mercy of God

Everytime I read Tozer's writing on the subject of Attributes of God, it always moves me to bow down to God literally. Today, I am reading on the mercy of God, one attribute of God that I most have problem with, not that it is God's problem that He did not show enough mercy but I realize that it was my own problem. Unbelief, doubts prevent me to enjoy the feast that is prepared for me. He said, Come to the throne of grace...but I was too scared and too stubborn to believe that He will receive me.

Forgive me, Lord for my stubborness. Sincerely, please forgive me.
I want to shake off unbelief and my wavering faith, for lack of trust in the Almighty God never comes from the heaven above but the works of Father of lies.

Continue to open my eyes to see everyday O Lord. To leave the life of sin and embrace eternal life You gave us.

"We must believe that God's mercy is boundless, free and, through Jesus Christ our Lord, available to us now in our present situation."

" [we may live in unbelief and alltogether miss the acceptance and love of God] or we may, if we will, lay hold on the mercy of God by faith, enter the hall and sit down with bold and avid souls who wil not allow diffidence and unbelief to keep them from the feast of fat things prepared for them."

The Knowledge of the Holy by A. W. Tozer