I have not been blogging for ages. As I sit here and recall back the past few days, I always find it hard to start. After the national day of Singapore, there were two things that I start changing oh no...may be three. Firstly, I start coming to work on the dot. Secondly, dyeing my virgin hair. Thirdly, prolly... I have retreated to my shyness...uhm no...fearful?
My relationship with my boss and manager are not so good. Kinda trapped in a dilemma. There is one work that I still do not know how to do it because it is rather in the boundary of being truthful and untruthful. I have been praying a lot about it. But, I still haven't the way out at the same time knowing I am responsible for this task and in any time, I mean any, He can come to me and ask the result. I really dunno what will I say then.
He keeps teasing me on my faith. It's ok, I expected that. Only...the only part that I am afraid is the trouble that I brought on my own head, saying that I have to much on my plate somehow made me to sound lazy and nagging. Now, my manager is daring to say things that are hurtful. Today, I was asked to scan magazines but may be it wasn't as he expected. I truly didn't know what is it going to be, but he said it was so bad that it looked like a lazy work. I don't know much abt computer and I feel so dumb to have spent five hours in total doing it. :(. How can I be so stupid???
This job is no sweat, don't really need much techniques. It is the matter you know what you are doing and how to organize. You will do pretty well. Doesn't need a degree I don't think. Plus marketing is about making up a bunch of crap and be skillful in greasing people around you to get what you want. A pity...there is no other way if you can not afford waiting. People cut the queue on the way to success by it. You can have great products and believe in it as you pleased but without cunning tactful skills you will not succeed. I don't know how will I survive this job, my heart will bleed if ever I made a compromise. My conscience will go numb. I dunno if I can survive any job involving PR marketing. May be I overimagine...somewhat extreme...but just getting down to the basic, your KPI/performance is based on how you have influenced someone to buy our products...evangel...you must convert others. At this point, any business will be selfish. There is no selflessness in their dictionary. Superficial generosity is done to achieve ultimate self satisfaction. Personal gain...who cares about you...if we don't do it to you...you will do it to us. That's the game. You tell me this is again Darwin principle, each person is equipped with survival gene, those who adapt quickly will survive in this game and those who are resistant will soon be out.
But, oh but...in Revelation...the great majestic triumphant royal wealthy Babylon was proud yet did not stand long. The wrath of God poured out on them and it all wasted away. All the riches of Babylon all that was symbols men honors and greatness...all disappeared in one blow. Because they did not fear God. It was written the merchants weep along the shores, because there will be no more trading with them, no more source of income, the behemoth Babylon has met with ruin and destruction is their inescapable destiny. And the people of God that was slain...Rejoice at last! for the Lord their God is mighty and faithful to His promises.
God, I am sorry I am impatient for my own personal growth, in holiness
I guess it might have been a demanding spirit that takes root on selfishness and unholy motive
Cleanse me with hyssop.
I am amazed at your working...by grace so that I may depend fully on you and I share none of the glory that belongs to you.
Blessed be your holy name!
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