Setelah melihat balik ke beberapa bulan sebelumnya dan beberapa tahun, aku melihat sebenarnya pertolongan tangan Tuhan itu cukup banyak. Bahkan disaat-saat genting, susah menghadapi orang tua yang menentang segala iman dan pelayanan saya. My activity back in the University are not worth mentioning really. Only thing I hope that God will see my broken sacrifice, broken because sometimes it was not done wholeheartedly, with lotsa doubts and grudges. Totally ashamed, ashamed that I was so anxious about my situation whereas other people with more responsibility than me was able to keep their head up over all situation and move on. Yea I was exhausted, worked myself to the ground, and I don't want to repeat the same thing again. It's not fun, I tell you.
Anyway, it's all over, long gone. I hope to start afresh with God. Knowing whatever that had happened is never beyond His sovereignty, then He should take care the past and the future too. I only want to be a free servant. But may be genuinity can only come through trials and griefs.
I refuse to lose hope for the future.
I refuse to be anxious about tomorrow.
I refuse to dwell in self-pity.
I refuse to serve myself.
I refuse to doubt God's goodness and compassion.
I refuse to live from human approvals.
I refuse the aboves!!!
Forgive, I might have been thinking highly of myself than I ought, Lord. please kill my pride.
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