The title simply described my feelings at the moment. I don't know...I just feel defeated, can not say "NO", everyone is bugging me, disturbing me, chucking work at me, everyone is playing safe, pushing work to someone else. Got no shame huh?
I am sucks, so easy to get bullied, can not defend myself. God if things are like these, I am really going crazy. I can just foresee black days ahead. Hey Mr M. you are manager. I am your helper NOT your slave. Hey Mr. K, be considerate...I know you are my boss but I am not desperate of a job. I am also human like you, NOT robots. Hey Ms Y, I know you are all expert in IT and I am so dumb, but I tell you at least I do not pretend to know it all.
to Mr. M, if I really feel a lot of work, I am not trying to find excuses. We both have two bosses and receive work from them both. I hope you can understand how I feel having four bosses including you? I believe you know very well when you have so many things to do. I would really appreciate if you at least try to understand my situation. I am sure it is not easy for you to say no when you receive tasks from them, am I right? If you as a manager feel that way, do think it is much easier for an associate? I just hope people are willing to do work, not pushing work. If we all have this kind of mentality, how is this company going to survive?
Trust me, I have done to the best of my ability. I took over your responsibility to prepare SEA data for the Board. I know you are all proud of that, but why I do not feel respected? Why I feel people just chuck work at me? I would appreciate if you would not leave things too late and then drive me nuts or panic. I like to do things early, get it done as fast as I could, so when the deadline coming at least things are going under control. I would appreciate that you know the time I will require to accomplish certain task. Please help me by submitting the task to be done earlier, that would be really great. I was not happy to hear from K, neither K was happy either knowing that you had passed whatever K told you to do to me.
Please do not think of bribing me by treating me lunch. I am sorry but I am not cheap. I accept your kindness because I believe you are sincere, aren't you? no string attached?
To the girls at work, I understand some of you are feeling pushed over the limit as well. But I think we can create a better environment if we cut the complaints, the nagging and help each other. Don't you think?
I see if we are not really working in a team, none...none I tell you...none of us will succeed. None of us are better here. I am here learning as I go, all the things that I have to do seems mountainous. I just feel like I am doing all the manager work myself. If I am to bear that position, it is a different story...anyway, with all my respect, I would say I need time to adjust, I am not being lazy. In fact, I work so hard. I dare not people pay me with me doing nothing, and will have a certain amount of regrets if I fail to do it well. I am young and inexperience but I am not without voice or unlimited. Just like you, I am no superman.
I am losing my joy to help that's all. If you are unable to sympathize, it is fine. I only ask that we all do our part, be responsible not running away.
1 comment:
Lilis, u know what, because we are new. Newbies are to be bullied in this cruel society. My mentality is, yea i'm a newbie for 1 year, then after that I am not. Pushing work responsibilities is normal, just need to learn to say no, in a tactful way. I talked to the clerk at work today, i asked him what are the issues at work? he said the supervisors especially the older staff are very selfish and don't communicate with each other. I was in shock he said that in front of many staff, but feel relieved cos i'm not the only one who thinks in that way. People are generally selfish and humans have this 'survival' gene, or in singapore call 'kiasu' or 'kiasi'. well, it's never easy, thought of a phrase today: "never take life too seriously". maybe that can help us to feel better. work piles up aye? for me now, nothing i do is not extremely urgent at the moment. what to do? i only have 2 hands and 1 head, can't do much can i? just to say that we are in the same boat...
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